Dork Geek Nerd

Never cared for Jean Grey

2012-01-24T23:08:00.011+11:00

I'll be in Canberra from Thursday to Sunday, along with TC, LPO, LM and LJ, wandering the halls/stalls of Cancon, gaming overtime back at our motor hotel, and appreciating the Renaissance art exhibition currently on at the National Gallery. I may or may not file a report afterwards.

It's not a forename

2012-01-21T14:35:00.002+11:00

Saw a d00d with a T-shirt that said "I void warranties". Underlining the slogan were pics of various screwdriver heads.

Semi-god

2012-01-19T23:31:00.004+11:00

"Beautiful Burnout" (Sydney Festival) @ Seymour Centre with PB

A promising young boxer's journey, paralleled by that of his doting, worrying mother. All of the other living, breathing stories of could-be and never-was from his gym. No-nonsense dialogue delivered in no-nonsense Scottish accents. Dance sequences in which exercises, boxing and the distinctive motions of the referee became steps. Thumping Underworld soundtrack. Interesting use of and interaction with background visuals. Humour and pathos and tragedy. Life in the square circle.

"The Darkness II" launch/Insert Coin(s) retro night @ Oxford Art Factory with strangers half my age

Old-school records on the turntable. A line of "T/D/II" stations in demo mode, giving us a taste of "quad wielding". Twenty-plus classic arcade machines set to "free play"; some dedicated, some multi-game. (Ever seen "Gauntlet II" in a two-on-one-side cocktail cabinet?) Struggling with a sticking joystick as I relearnt the patterns on "1942", "Gyruss" and "Xevious". Free beer for those of us with sparkly VIP bracelets. Sweet green relish on my American-style hotdogs. An alcoholic ice-cream drink I swore I wasn't gonna have, but bloody loved. "Skyrim" cosplayer, Deadmau5 impersonator. Alas, I could only spare two hours and had to leave before the graffiti artists hit the stage.

Director John Landis speaking in "SFX #217":

"There's still a place for monsters. We live in conservative and more reactionary times. It's one of the reasons I think zombies are so popular now. They're the monster of the 21st century, because they represent - aside from the obvious things, like illness, decay and age - anarchy, chaos and loss of social order."

Dry tongue

2012-01-18T00:39:00.012+11:00

Went to a UFC dinner at Rockpool Bar & Grill as part of the promotions for the 03/03 event. Past magnificent Art Deco architecture, in a private room, there were three tables of journos and fighters from the card (Benavidez, Johnson, Noke, Perosh and Te Huna), flitted between by attentive staff. RB&G is one of celebrity chef Neil Perry's establishments and known for its superior beef and wine, so the majority chose those for their main and beverage. All of the fare was exquisite, with the (multi-cheese?) potato bake an unlikely steak-beater. And all hail the 2006 pinot noir! In the future, as the MMA media here grows, such an intimate gathering will not be possible. We made the most of it :-)

The tan will fade, but the memories will last forever

2012-01-14T19:41:00.003+11:00

Hung out with Ziggy Stardust, Judaschrist and Flashheart. Drank Caipirinhas, Cherry Cola For Lolas and Pepperjacks served by an Eva Mendes look-alike. Did other stuff.

Five by five, B.

2012-01-13T10:20:00.003+11:00

For the first working week of 2012, I've spent my lunches visiting the eateries I missed most over the break. On Monday, I lined up for Salad Works (large Bombay chicken salad). Tuesday saw me dine in at Sakae (jumbo ebi katsu don). Yes, a lot of dishes I order contain the words "large" or "jumbo". Wednesday was Mad Mex to go (chook burrito with hot sauce). And on Thursday I reacquainted myself with Mother Chu's (tempeh/broccoli/snow pea/walnut/cashew stir fry + curry rice). You'll note hot sauces and curries are also prevalent in my diet. Those four were no-brainers, but the fifth destination is yet to be decided. Do I go for the authentic Italian pasta of Cafe 255? The mouth-watering, messy-as-hell hamburgers of Grill'd? Or do I fight the Friday crowd for the right to Encasa tapas? Spoilt for choice? Nah, I’m just plain spoilt.

Fateful hour

2012-01-12T03:17:00.004+11:00

"DW: The Companion Chronicles - The Beautiful People" (2007) is a treat. Witty script by Jonathan Morris, wonderful narration from Lalla Ward. While sassing the Fourth Doc in Romana II mode, it almost sounds like she's admonishing her ex-hubby for his failings. Hehe. If I had my druthers, LW would voice every "Who" audio.

We need to talk about Kevin Bacon

2012-01-10T22:55:00.008+11:00

The advantage of being an armchair gridiron spectator in Australia is that you can record something like the BCS National Championship without fear of overhearing any spoilers before ya get home 5-6 hours later. Which was fortunate in this instance,'cos taking into account that the #1-rated LSU had beaten #2 Alabama in their previous encounter and were favoured to repeat the feat, I never imagined the Tide would completely shut out the Tigers, 21-0. And while I don't support any particular college football team, I've felt a tenous connection to 'Bama ever since reading - and thoroughly enjoying - Warren St John's 2005 fan odyssey, "Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer". Ergo: a result that was mildly pleasing as well as shocking in its comprehensiveness.

A walk in the Black Forest

2012-01-09T22:55:00.008+11:00

Sometimes all the heart wants is dark bread, strong cheese, cured meat and rustic lager. Oh, and maybe a packet of crisps.

Seven-word rental DVD reviews

2012-01-08T23:59:00.002+11:00

"The Striking Truth" (2010): Padded MMA doco nevertheless offers GSP insights.

"Hanna" (2011): Girl assassin upstages Blanchett antagonist in thrill-o-rama.

"Mars Needs Moms" (2011): Funnest darkish Western animation since "Monster House".

"Primal" (2010): Outback horror is watchably ridiculous - ta, PG.

"X-Men - First Class" (2011): Several evolutionary-ladder rungs above its predecessors.

Already been chewed

2012-01-07T23:37:00.008+11:00

LEGO exhibition "The Art Of The Brick" - located in the lower part of the Town Hall, opposite the QVB - will only take you 20-30 minutes to view, but it will wow you. Runaway lawyer Nathan Sawaya's sculptures range from little red apples to a lifesize T. rex skeleton (albeit an adolescent one), though his most common subjects are human figures. The New Yorker tends to use very limited palettes for his works, which besides helping hide the joins gives them a purity of form reminiscent of 8-bit sprites. There are exceptions. The portraits comprised of LEGO "pixels" had me flashing back to the ASCII renderings - painstakingly printed and assembled by BS - that adorned our early '90s sharehouse.

Tonight's magnificent earworm: http://bit.ly/vK9lhE

Fly, you fools!

2012-01-06T23:06:00.002+11:00

"I got eight babies, by eight different women. You wanna have my ninth?"
- Boxer Evander Holyfield surprises actress Olivia Munn, shortly after meeting her in a mall and inviting himself to join her for lunch. As recounted in OM's autobiography, "Suck It, Wonder Woman!" (2010).

Diminished booty call of the cicadas

2012-01-05T22:34:00.007+11:00

"Habit forming. Mind controlling. Life absorbing." No, not the evil yoghurt The Stuff in the 1985 horror-comedy of that title. I'm talking about the RPG "Skyrim". Broke the seal on an Xbox 360 copy yesterday and spent 12 subsequent hours with no care for stomach, bladder or eyeballs. Went cold turkey today, tying up loose ends instead, but every atom in my mongrel body was willing me to carry on shaping the destiny of the Wood Elf warrior Leif. The game is super immersive and the temptation to trailblaze another section of the world map or delve into the latest forbidding underground complex or hone your skills/improve your gear/seek new missions from the colourful supporting cast is tough to resist. And the atmosphere... When it's the wee hours virtually AND in RL, and you sneak into a sleeping camp of strange, headdress-wearing natives, there's a genuine creepiness and sense of peril. Don't even get me started on what it's like to share the countryside with giants, one of whom belted me half a league with his club when I wandered too close. Alas, being as wide and deep as it is addictive, it's glaringly bloody obvious "Skyrim" will rule my existence unless I reserve it for times when all pressing tasks are sorted. Like now :-)

Shut the f...ront door

2012-01-03T23:59:00.008+11:00

Boardgaming with SC and two of his other friends, D. and R., was followed by a spicy, boozy dinner at the Amazon Steakhouse and the late session of "The Iron Lady" at the Dendy Newtown, both with S. and LC.

Don't underestimate the importance of sending doomed Vikings to Valhalla in "Midgard", drawing cards in "Torres", or saving up until you can buy buildings with the exact money and thereby score bonus turns in "Alhambra".

Don't be afraid to try the homemade hot sauce at the A/S. It's flavoursome without being overpowering.

Don't expect a straight political biopic from "T/I/L". As much a story of soulmates and of how even the strongest personalities can be worn down with age, loss and the burden of responsibility, the style is more dreamlike than detailed, in keeping with the themes of memory and dementia. That said, Meryl Streep's portrayal of Margaret Thatcher is utterly convincing.

"The germ for 'Freeway' came at [the CES] in Chicago. To save a $10 parking fee, a guy had parked a mile from the convention centre, scaled a chainlink fence and dodged across 10 lanes of traffic on Lake Shore Drive. I saw him as he darted in front of the bus I was riding. I remarked aloud to my seat-mate: 'Now there's an idea for a videogame!' ... [Initially,] my game had two men competing to get from the bottom of the screen to the top through 10 lanes of traffic, as many times as possible in two minutes. Three days before the game was to be announced to the public at the next CES trade show, Activision CEO Jim Levy suggested: 'If you change it to a chicken, I could hire someone to wear a chicken suit and run around the convention to advertise the game. Besides, it would also fit the "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke.' For that reason alone, overnight it went from being a man to an animal"
- David Crane on the genesis of his classic Atari cart, quoted in "Retro Gamer #97".

Pocket piss

2012-01-02T19:28:00.003+11:00

This web bleurgh is into its sixth calendar year. 1212 posts. Just sayin'.

Diamond duck

2012-01-02T18:38:00.005+11:00

Youse can read about my recent goings-on with RS, BS, PB and MB at Robot Claw.

Apart from the noise level (it's adjacent to a play area and a coffee cart), Wildlife Photographer Of The Year 2011 at the Australian Museum is excellent. Not as depressing as in 2010, though there's more repetition among the snappers and I could live without the tricksier shots. I bought postcards of the tree-climbing cheetah and her cubs, the composite image of the green aurora (I know, I know), and the grass snake under the waterfall, so I guess those were my faves.

With the bros gone to visit their folks for a tenday, I gave this joint a summer clean. I then caved to the temptations of takoyaki-flavoured rice snacks (ta, sis) and GummiBursts (ta, B.). Graphic novel "Fables #16: Super Team" failed to excite. However, it did sow the seeds for intriguing future conflicts.

Reaching my "Enterprise" boredom threshold after four episodes...might have to dig out a DVD...

Taren Capel

2011-12-26T23:28:00.016+11:00

BS flies in tomorrow, RS on Wednesday, and PB on Thursday. MB is coming over on NYD. Not sure how much blogging I'll be doing betwixt now and January 2-3, but I can fill in a few gaps...

Dec. 23

Train to Newie. Began super sequel "The Magician King" (2011) by Lev Grossman. Met my new niece for the first time (her twin brother was asleep). Enjoyed pepper steak, Platinum Blonde and Chris Gayle's T20 century. World Poker Tour Venice sapped the rest of my energy. Across the road from my parents' place, the competing lightshows of next-door neighbours winked on through the night.

Dec. 24

Met my new nephew. Removed thousands of leaves from the pool, patio and gutter. The third job left me with sunburnt forearms that are currently itching like bastards. Quaffed official AC/DC Highway To Hell 2008 Cab Sav. "Best Of Aussie Boxing 2011" didn't disappoint. Can't say the same for "Alaskan Monster Hunt".

Dec. 25

Took it lemon-squeezy in the heat, reading and dreaming beneath a gently circulating fan. Continued to appreciate family and food. Tried Rekorderlig Strawberry Lime Cider. Trifle made its annual appearance. Dad wanted a break from crime novels, which he devours in notimeflat, so I put him onto Gaiman's "American Gods". Period fillum "Easy Virtue" (2008) got the thumbs up from four of us.

Dec. 26

Boxing Day Test. Train to Sydney. Closed the cover on "T/M/K". Parked my butt in front of the telly, then mysteriously lost several hours - abducted by aliens?

Neo-Geocaching

2011-12-23T15:16:00.005+11:00

Still haven't left (blame Colts vs. Texans), so I was here to open a letter from the real estate agency informing me that, as of March, my rent is being raised by $40(!) per week. Typical rudeness. Not just the size of the increase - I reckon they'd have served the notice, tied with a bow, on December 25 if they could have. Will likely move once I find out if/where I'm gonna be attending uni. Their greed = my incentive to broaden my horizons.

19-16, baby!!!

Respect your Eldar

2011-12-23T11:46:00.009+11:00

Hurriedly, as I had a much-needed sleep-in and there's lots to do afore I can leave for Newcastle...

Tuesday: Went to a catered preview of "Sherlock Holmes: Game Of Shadows" at Bondi Junction with AM2 and MC. The movie was dumb fun. Stephen Fry stole scenes, Noomi Rapace* stole hearts (well, my two, anyway), there was an outstanding slo-mo sequence and that's about it, really. No secrets during/after the credits, FYI.

Wednesday: International Rush Day - 21/12 - as pointed out to me by PG. Received a South African Chrissie hamper from the M. clan and tucked into it straightaway. Delicious drywors (dried sausage), Tomato Fritos (weird but tasty corn chips), TV Bar (like a Crunch...or maybe a chocolate crackle) and a sixpack of Castle Lager. Burp!

Thursday: Having sent the February issue to the printers, we headed to Chinatown's East Ocean for our final Tsingtao-fuelled yum cha of the year. Later, "Data Extract #214" blew me away with a bunch of "Who" news - none bigger than the recovery of "Galaxy 4" episode 3 and "The Underwater Menace" ep. 2. (Already knew Amy and Rory were departing next season, thanks to an email from PB earlier in the week.)

Friday: Housework, packing, etc. Must make sure I take the brown paper bag with the custom car mags for Dad and not the identical one containing an assortment of complimentary filth for the guests arriving at the end of this month...

*Whose character, Madam Simza Heron, looked like she was en route to see The Mission circa 1987. Which naturally got me reminiscing about said hippie-goths and trawling old clips on YouTube.

Banga sanga

2011-12-20T06:02:00.004+11:00

Transferred nearly 10 grand to the tax orifice this morning, which felt a bit like a kick to the cods. Had to be done, though, and now we're quitsville until next financial year.

On the plus side, I have purchased a nifty ice-blue Nintendo Wii. It came in a pack with "Donkey Kong Country Returns", "MadWorld" and [cough] "Michael Jackson: The Experience".

Splendid, splendid, recommended

2011-12-18T16:29:00.003+11:00

"Stephen Gallagher wrote a delightful scene [in 'Warrior's Gate'] in which Adric puts on The Doctor's hat and scarf. He then spends half an episode wearing this outfit. Matthew loved these scenes and was looking forward to rehearsing them.

"The costume designer, June Hudson, was at the rehearsal room getting measurements, and she came to Matthew carrying the scarf and hat. She told him to put them on so she could see how he looked. [Director] Paul Joyce stood nearby. It was agreed that Matthew looked marvellous. These scenes are going to be lovely, said Paul. At that moment, Tom [Baker] returned from lunch. He swayed to the window ledge. He looked across at Matthew. Matthew had never before seen the expression on a human face so like that of a cat, jealous to see the attention another cat is receiving.

"Shortly after, the first of these scenes was to be rehearsed. In it, The Doctor had to leave the TARDIS for a while. Baker looked up from the script.

"'I think,' he said, 'it would be much better if I *took my hat and scarf with me*.'

"'Oh, *yes*!' said Paul, waving his lower arm with a dismissive gesture. 'Yes! Much better!

"Matthew didn't know whether to be annoyed, impressed or amazed. Annoyed at the loss of some nice moments, impressed at the shamelessness of Tom's gall, amazed at how easily Paul let him get away with it"

- "Blue Box Boy: A Memoir Of 'Doctor Who' In Four Seasons" (2010) by Matthew Waterhouse. Order it from http://bit.ly/qrIuQF. You'll quickly get used to the third-person voice :-)

Winged horse kick

2011-12-18T12:11:00.002+11:00

Sponsored this Kickstarter project for a hungee - http://kck.st/rq0Akb

If they reach their goal, that nets me images (meh), access to the beta, a digital copy of the soundtrack, an art book, and - the clincher - the privilege of designing an NPC and a quest to feature in the game!

(FYI, Kickstarter payments are made through your Amazon account. If the target isn't met, you aren't charged.)

Kiwa hirsuta

2011-12-18T11:34:00.003+11:00

"The whole multi-Doctor thing, it's the poisoned chalice... Everyone wants it, everyone thinks it's fantastic - I agree with those sentiments. But, for many people, [those] stories in some way always massively disappoint, and don't quite deliver. I mean, no-one thinks that 'The Three Doctors' is a great story. We all kind of love it, but it never comes in anyone's Top 10 list. Same with 'The Five Doctors'. And, frankly, same with my dear old story 'The Sirens Of Time'... Then, of course, there was 'Zagreus', which was a completely non-traditional multi-Doctor story. Gary must have felt - c'mon, let's do something different, let's not just have them all get together in a room and solve a puzzle and have an argument with each other. [But even] that, although in its own way massively popular, it's not up there with the great stories"
- Big Finish's Nicholas Briggs.

Remember Kenner's Jabba The Hutt Action Playset?

2011-12-17T23:29:00.006+11:00

Matt Cara from x-entertainment.com does, regarding the "Star Wars" toy he discovered stashed in his parents' room on December 24, 1983 as perhaps his greatest Xmas present ever:

"Jabba and I already had some history. By then, I'd endured two absolutely horrifying movie-theater experiences, owing exclusively to my fear of this giant slug and his depraved hobbies. Somehow, Jabba seemed far less scary as a nine-inch action figure. He was immediately promoted to one of the elite 'bosses' of all of my toys – a position he would relish for many years ... Oh Jabba, you sicko. We had such times together, making slaves out of everybody with small necks. And throwing all of the skinny figures into your ass jail. And smoking alien pot. You deserved every hour of the attention I gave you, and I'm so sorry for breaking your head off in a fit of kids-do-stuff-like-that."

Bad apples

2011-12-17T15:06:00.008+11:00

The post-office was fuller than a bull's bum. Most of us kept our cool as we slowly filed towards the front, but I was disgusted by the number of partially completed mailers discarded by cretins who'd either changed their minds mid-addressing or abandoned the whole exercise. I'm not talking about an envelope or small postpak "burnt" here and there - I'm talking about things like an international priority satchel written across in pen, then left crumpled on a shelf, unuseable. I had to put a large padded bag back because some selfish jerk had sealed it, ripped it open again and ruined the glue. Who does that?

The Ancient One

2011-12-17T10:45:00.012+11:00

As I type this, there are people on Facebook busily organising a 25-year reunion for my form from (Catholic) junior high. Memory: On graduation day, we were handed our certificates *as we walked out of the side gate*, so there'd be no celebratory vandalising of school property. Re-enter the grounds to make mischief and you could technically be busted for trespassing.

Email intuition

2011-12-17T10:00:00.005+11:00

I quite enjoyed the inaugural Big Bash game between the Sydney Sixers and the Brisbane Heat. The teams were a good mix of oldies, imports, established players still in the hunt, up-and-comers and, er, Wendell Sailor on the bench. At the SCG after which he's named, the now silver-haired and slightly tubby Stuart Charles Glyndwr MacGill bowled like a champ, taking 2/21. One of the commentators joked that Australia had found its new young spinner. It was a top batting effort by Brad Haddin to crack 76 off 59 and steer the Sixers to victory. Brendon McCullum showed admirable ticker to get smashed in the nose by a delivery from perennial trier Brett Lee, retire hurt with claret pouring from the wound, have it stitched and return to the crease a wicket later. And Steven Smith gave a solid all-round performance, with figures of 1/25, two catches, and finishing not out on 11 off 7. He's one of those dudes who just has a "great cricket brain". I'll definitely be tuning in for this evening's clash, when the Melbourne Stars face the Sydney Thunder, with Shane Warne taking the field for the former (and Liz Hurley supposedly tossing the coin).

Other fishfingers to fry

2011-12-15T23:42:00.004+11:00

Three cut'n'pastes away from you:

Computer gear repurposed as musical instruments - http://bit.ly/w1JnVD (ta, LA)

Awesomely lame panels from "Spider-Man" comics - http://bit.ly/tpJcjT (cheers, PG)

"The Brady Bunch" meets the origins of the UFC - http://bit.ly/u1b6sN (dank u, JCVD)

All filler, no killer

2011-12-15T10:20:00.000+11:00

I’m scraping the bottom of the wardrobe today, with a crinkled white business shirt that shows up the print on the anime tee underneath – and the (only losers take the) bus ticket in my pocket :-)

Madder than "Herculoids"

2011-12-14T22:42:00.003+11:00

Was a touch feverish on Sunday night. Ate two ice-creams, went to bed for 10 hours and normalcy was restored. Monday eve, it was food poisoning (source undetermined). No dinner and nine hours' kip did the trick. Slept fitfully on Tuesday. Woke overheated from the recurring nightmare about the machete fight. No fixing that.

Connect the goddamn dots

2011-12-11T19:43:00.003+11:00

Memorable moment #1: Having passed every die roll in the session with ease, attempting to catch the "Necronomicon", which had been thrown from a short distance away. Rolling "100" and dropping it in a pool of sacrificial blood mid-ritual.

Memorable moment #2: Using hand gestures to explain to an alien humanoid that we were the survivors of a starship crash and required urgent assistance in exiting his planet. Learning post-game how horribly we'd interpreted his reply.

Who's your second-fave "Enterprise" character?

2011-12-11T00:13:00.001+11:00

Mine's Porthos.

Adorably wrong

2011-12-11T00:00:00.005+11:00

Cappie: "All right. Are you ready, champ?"
Casey: "She's Ashleigh, not Chuck Liddell. He's a boxer, right?"
- "Greek" (S04E07).

(For those playing in the comfort of their lounges, "The Iceman" was an amateur wrestler, an amateur kickboxer and an internationally famous professional mixed martial artist.)

Caramel popcorn

2011-12-10T18:47:00.010+11:00

Don't think I can argue with the bookmakers' predictions for the UFC 140 main card, viz. Jon Jones, Frank Mir, Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, Brian Ebersole and Mark Hominick. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira and Chan Sung Jung appear the best bets for an upset (versus Mir and Hominick, respectively). Unless Tito Ortiz shocks us by overwhelming "Little Nog" the way he did Ryan Bader - or, more likely, controlling Antonio Rogerio a la Phil Davis. Bah, enough speculation. Though I may throw a few bucks on "The People's Champ" at 3:1, the lone result that honestly concerns me is that "Bad Boy/TWAS" wins. War Ebersole!

Picking mama

2011-12-10T18:23:00.005+11:00

While redeeming a Kmart voucher GK had been meaning to send me since June and recently remembered to pass on, I decided to buy a gift with my own money to put under that branch's charity Christmas tree. Went for a LEGO Creator 3-in-1 set (transformable between truck and helicopter; different truck and car; or 4WD, trailer and boat), for them to give to a lad of 9-10. Fusspot that I am, I specified "creative type". Would hate it to be wasted on a hyperactive terror without the patience to join two blocks.

Hang onto that tray

2011-12-10T11:13:00.003+11:00

Grabbed tickets to the Sydney Thunder vs. Melbourne Renegades T20 game for myself, BS, RS and someone else (probably either PB or CM). With David Warner and Chris Gayle in the local side and Andrew McDonald and Shahid Afridi set to turn out for the visitors, it has the potential to be an explosive contest. (Let's hope none of the aforementioned blokes are injured when the night comes.)

Himillsy Dodd

2011-12-10T10:30:00.005+11:00

The double album "Time Machine 2011: Live In Cleveland" has me falling in love with Rush all over again. Even "Time Stand Still", a song for which I never much cared (Aimee Mann backing vocal notwithstanding), is amazing now. Tough to pick a favourite track at this stage.

Thou shalt not suffer an insect to live

2011-12-09T22:04:00.009+11:00

"I neither need nor have room for these, but I want them just the same," I confessed, handing over a biography and a cultural history.

"Happens to me all the time," sympathised the saleswoman, before chiding something at her feet that was worrying at a cardboard box.

I peered over the counter and a black puppy gazed back at me with a fangy grin.

"What sort is he?" I asked.

"A pug crossed with a bichon frise."

"I like his face. There's something about it..."

"He's got the cutest little underbite in Sydney. Haven't you, [name of underage dog withheld]?"

And he did. He also reminded me of Rexley, the sadistic scruffbag from Dog Judo, but I didn't mention that.

"Leave me out of your list of things to do today"

2011-12-09T21:53:00.003+11:00

From an article on smh.com.au by Lucy Meyer headed "Sydney's Quirkiest Bars":

5) The Hero Of Waterloo.
All is not what it seems at this 168-year-old landmark. From the outside, it looks like any other old pub in The Rocks. But once you step inside, you can glimpse the entrance to a secret passage known as a "Shanghai tunnel", which was used for smuggling in convict times. In those days, sailors often didn't want to return to their ships – leaving shipowners without enough hands on deck. According to local legend, enterprising shipowners paid the barmen here to get their sailors back on board. Barmen would slip the seamen a mickey and carry them through the Shanghai tunnel towards Sydney Harbour. The poor guys would wake up at sea with no idea how they got there (which sounds like a great set-up for "The Hangover 3"). You can get a free tour of the tunnel when you in come for a drink.

Cheery

2011-12-07T22:38:00.003+11:00

"Don't wish for anything, because it's never what you think. Actually, think of the thing you least want to do and chances are you'll be happier with it. That's what I've learnt"
- Karl Pilkington, "An Idiot Abroad" (S02E03).

A king and a count

2011-12-04T10:14:00.005+11:00

Today, the M. family and I are seeing "Richard III" at the Lyric Theatre. Directed by Sam Mendes and starring Kevin Spacey in the lead, it has been garnering plenty of praise for the acting and the modernisation. We're contemplating cocktails beforehand, although that's risky with a play of this length.

Afterwards, I'll be hastening home for my recording of the live finale of "The Ultimate Fighter 14". I've been predicting all series that Michael "The Count" Bisping should beat Jason "Mayhem" Miller (whom have I nothing against, btw), but the events of yesterday's weigh-in suggest MB had a difficult cut.

Modern life is rubbish

2011-12-04T10:13:00.002+11:00

Miles: "Oh, listen, I don't know anything about computers."
Computer clerk: "Nobody does. But don't you want one for when you do find out?"
- "Electric Dreams" (1984)

Worth rewatching for three things: the title song; a radiant Virginia Madsen; and the scene of the store stocked with dedicated handhelds like "Cave Man", Imagic cartridges and classic machines such as the Commodore Vic-20.

Remain the same

2011-12-04T10:12:00.004+11:00

"I saw the creature fall
Into the swamp from which he spawned
I heard them laugh and say
They never liked him anyway"
- "Creature Lives" by Mastodon (from 2011's "The Hunter")

Here's hoping that, wherever he is, BP is blasting this from his stereo while reading a genre novel.

Professor Nigel Zircon

2011-12-03T12:58:00.002+11:00

Just booked TC and myself in for back-to-back sessions at MacquarieCon next weekend. We'll be engaging in Holmesian sleuthing in "Stiff Upper Lip" (Cthulhu) and exploring an uncharted region of space in "Lost Contact" (Radiance). I get the feeling the latter may be as serious as the former is light-hearted - but I'm prepared to be surprised.

Control + open Apple + reset

2011-12-03T12:57:00.001+11:00

As a youngster, I went through a phase where, when asked the time, I'd declare, "Half past a monkey's arse and a quarter to his balls!" Dunno where the hell I got it from, but it earnt me regular rebukes - which is no doubt what I secretly desired.

Supplemental

2011-12-03T12:56:00.004+11:00

When I told my boss I was holding out for a more established university, he made a very good point... That's fair enough if you're planning on using the qualification to get a job. But if you're just doing it for personal interest/satisfaction, it doesn't really matter where you go, so long as you like the course.

The princess and the peaheart

2011-11-30T23:59:00.007+11:00

Went to the Mature Age & Postgraduate Course Evening at The University Of Notre Dame Australia on Broadway. (That sentence looks downright Victorian, but then I will insist on capping every word in titles.) I liked the sound of the undergrad history and behavioural science programs, as well as the postgrad law degree. ND is a definite fallback option if I don't receive an offer from one of the four local institutions to which I've already applied. Rather than having to go through UAC, you're assessed by a combination of academic record, personal statement and interview - with admissions open right up until classes start! Although the Sydney campus is only 5-6 years old, my impression of the faculty and facilities was favourable. I felt welcome.

Nobody knows why

2011-11-29T23:19:00.003+11:00

BEST ... OF THE YEAR

Album: The unhurried, uncompromised art of Kate Bush is always worth the wait. "50 Words For Snow" is uniquely gorgeous.

Book: Ernest Cline's cyberspatial hunt for '80s anorak treasure (with a touch of Willy Wonka), "Ready Player One".

Film: Traveller boxing documentary "Knuckle", pieced together over 12 bloody feud-filled years by Ian Palmer.

Graphic novel: Quirky Asian-American yarn of duty vs. digital dreams "Level Up", by Gene Luen Yang and Thien Pham.

Live event: UFC 127 at Acer Arena (now known as Allphones Arena). It didn't hurt that I was seated Octagon-side!

TV: The perfectly cast adaptation of GRRM's "Game Of Thrones" by a thousand leagues. Roll on April and Season 2.

Videogame: "El Shaddai - Ascension Of The Metatron" on the PS3 entertained me longer than the rest, if that's any guide.

The hypertonic for what ails ya - http://bit.ly/hmRzkr
Finally - http://bit.ly/s6sPZm
Kenny G walks into an elevator...and says, "This place rocks!" (Ta, MR.)
Dangerous dubbing - http://bit.ly/t7FTI8 (Cheers, DL.)

What's a dreamcatcher to you is a dust trapper to me

2011-11-27T23:11:00.008+11:00

T/W/T/W/T/W..."The Armstrong And Miller Show" - best sketch comedy in yonks; "Welcome Interstate Managers" (2003) by Fountains Of Wayne; time off in lieu; "The Learners" (2008) by Chip Kidd; evacuating the building for a false alarm; the "Picasso: Masterpieces From The Musee National Picasso, Paris" exhibition at the Art Gallery Of NSW - such variety! Such a mind expansion!; "Doctor Who: 100" (2007) by Rayner/Shearman/Lidster/Cornell - that stupid Caesar story has ruined companion Evelyn for me; "Peep Show"; Missy Higgins reconsidered; the "Jeffrey Smart: Unspoken" exhibition at the USyd Art Gallery; indulging an urge to splurge at Utopia; Bell Shakespeare's production of "Julius Caesar" (as recommended by DW from poker) at the SOH Playhouse; GH's 50th dinner in Mayfield - we each did the 1.2kg steak challenge at Grill 32 and got our names on the honour board; lifting my alcohol ban after four months; catching up with the oldies in Warabrook; driving in AP2's brand-new secondhand Lexus; JH and SH's combined 40th party in Morisset; "Fruit Ninja"; the "Persons Of Interest: The ASIO Files" exhibition at the Justice & Police Museum - the suspects weren't totally spies :-); pretty Irish barmaids with their lovely accents; a competent staging of Oscar Wilde's "An Ideal Husband" at the Genesian Theatre; and I can't stop yawning.

Additional actors/actorettes on the right - http://bit.ly/qW36nJ

Grimhilde

2011-11-20T18:51:00.000+11:00

T/W/T/W/T/W..."Graceland" on repeat; "Judge Dredd Crime Chronicles: Stranger Than Truth" (2009) by David Bishop - a lively, metafictional romp; caps that fit; the restarted "Beavis And Butthead"; Season 1 of "Portlandia"; white peach and passionfruit lemonade; "The Cheese Monkeys: A Novel In Two Semesters" (2001) by Chip Kidd; offloading excess possessions to friends/neighbours/charity; "Angry White Pyjamas: A Scrawny Oxford Poet Takes Lessons From The Tokyo Riot Police" (1997) by Robert Twigger - quote below; being out'n'about all day, then realising that at some point you got red paint on your trousers; "The Big Issue No. 393" (Tintin cover); revisiting "Eerie, Indiana" again; "Unholy War" (2002) by John L. Esposito; nicking my fingers more often than a long-sighted butcher with the DTs; the M:TG worlds; daring to get my hopes up for the CS Lewis-inspired "Doctor Who" Christmas special; rocket, cashew and parmesan dip on corn crackers; UFC 139; and SBS's "PopAsia" (knew about the digital radio station, but just discovered the Sunday morning clip show). Not bad for a week in which I spent 55+ hours toiling away in the office!

Twigger on enlightenment: "A Zen priest told me when I first arrived in Japan, 'There are two kinds depending on your type. One type of man has many mini-enlightenments. The other has one big enlightenment.' 'What if you have no enlightenments at all?' I asked. 'Such a man does not think to ask this question,' he said."

Let my people go (by tram) - http://bit.ly/oS3Ceu

Schedules of students at various UK unis - http://bit.ly/rrVsS5. The Oxbridge ones are the most interesting, by virtue of being the most different to the Oz experience.

Julius Pringles

2011-11-13T14:03:00.000+11:00

T/W/T/W/T/W...UFC 138; "New Zealand's Next Top Model"; receiving a letter to say I've been added to the jury roll and may be selected for service; the WSOP 2011 final table; fruit smoothies; heavy rain (the meteorological phenomenon not the videogame); a preview screening of "Immortals" with AM; Dad and Uncle J. staying here from Wed.-Sat. so as to spectate at the Australian Golf Open; "Fatal System Error: The Hunt For The New Crime Lords Who Are Bringing Down The Internet" (2010) by Joseph Menn; a wunderbar new Symphony Of Science tune; the T-shirt slogan "PLEASE BE QUIET"; Test cricket craziness; Salt & Lemon (it's going strong, BS, no shortage of fish OR chips :-)); Sammy Davis Jr's cover of "The Candy Man" x 1000; and UFC On Fox.

--> BBC Four's comprehensive and, if you like synthesiser pop, irresistible 2009 doco "Synth Britannia" (1.5 hours) - http://bit.ly/jaDF6M. So much priceless footage.

Parasol stars

2011-11-06T13:56:00.002+11:00

This spring day in the eastern suburbs is like summer. Taking my weekly constitutional, I passed at least six people of Asian ethnicity carrying umbrellas - men and women. I can dig it. Better to attract stares for your brolly than for a skin cancer burnt/cut off your face later in life. A glint at my feet on a paved pathway revealed a "diamond" in a metal bezel. Quote marks because it failed the scratch test (dispelling a vision of me heroically returning it to its distraught owner). Coincidentally - diamonds, feet - my copy of the expanded and remastered "Graceland" arrived this week. I bought Paul Simon's masterwork on cassette in 1986 and wore it wobbly. Will be good to revisit the album for its 25th anniversary. Most of the visitors to this webs(h)ite hail from, in order: Australia, the US, the Netherlands, Russia, South Korea, Germany, Malaysia, the UK, France and Latvia. World music?

Micro-emotions

2011-11-06T00:38:00.003+11:00

T/W/T/W/T/W...the sobering public lecture "Population, Environment, And The Millennium Alliance For Humanity And Biosphere" delivered by Stanford University's Professor Paul Ehrlich; free postcards to decorate my cubicle; listening to "As Neat As A New Pin" (2009) by Empty Set; picking the winner of the Melbourne Cup (bet $20, won $125); witnessing a scam attempt^^^; Season 2 of the "Venture Bros." 'toon and Season 1 of the "X-Men" anime; loving and hating in equal measure "The Mad Square: Modernity In German Art 1910-37" at the Art Gallery Of NSW; misplacing a thumbtack in my apartment that I'm yet to locate; pigeon-racing...um, reality challenge, I suppose you'd call it, "Taking On Tyson"; Turkish Delight Tim Tams; catching a company trying to slug me with a late fee for a bill I didn't receive (fee waived); renting "Your Highness" (2010) and not regretting it; a poker night with CM, AM, DL, DW and AP at which I was runner-up to AP in both tourneys (doubled my dough, though); "Prognosis #18" and audiobook "Robin Hood: The Witchfinders" (2009) by Rebecca Levene; Bloomberg Television; and an attack of extreme lethargy.

^^^A woman came into a restaurant where I was eating and asked the lady manager for help. She said her car was in a nearby parking station and she couldn't get it out because she'd accidentally left her wallet at home. She offered to leave her contact details if she could please borrow the money ($27!) to pay for the parking. Then, she said, she'd drive home, get the wallet and return to refund the loan. The restaurant lady took her at face value as she seemed distressed, but wanted to send a staff member along for the ride, to collect the cash. That suggestion didn't go down well. Oh no, the wallet was in [far-off suburb]. There was no need for someone else to travel all that way, too. At this point, the manager knew she was being lied to. She advised the woman to go to the police station for assistance. The woman pleaded her case again, saying she didn't want to bother the police over it and insisting she'd be straight back with the money. When the manager replied firmly that she was sorry but could do no more, the woman's demeanour changed. She launched into a torrent of abuse and racial slurs, sticking her middle finger up as she exited the scene.

Innistrad Von Zarovich pre-cons
1st - "Spectral Legions" (U/W) - 3 matches, 8 games
2nd - "Repel The Dark" (G/W) - 3 matches, 7 games
3rd - "Carnival Of Blood" (B/R) - 2 matches, 6 games
4th - "Eldritch Onslaught" (U/R) - 2 matches, 5 games
5th - "Deathly Dominion" (B/G) - 0 matches, 4 games

Put things into perspective (ta, TG) - http://bit.ly/cQfu6q

"I agree. Now, let me tell you why we're wrong..."

It takes a village idiot / Not the full 60 cards

2011-10-30T21:40:00.003+11:00

That was the week that was...early Steeleye Span; 2010 documentary "Hey, Boo - Harper Lee & 'To Kill A Mockingbird'"; the schadenfreude of Man City's 6-1 humiliation of Man United; irritation at those who say "off of"; interrupted sleep; a hastily abandoned exercise routine; appalling service from one branch of the Commmonwealth Bank and exemplary service from another; a chat with GH; Louise Jameson in "Pulling Faces" at Bankstown Sports Club (it's in the constellation of Kasterborous); learning Brian Eno is short for Brian Peter George St John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno; a replay of Cage Fighting Championship 18; feeling kinship upon hearing "Zzap! 64" legend Gary Penn was once assistant editor at "Knave"; interviewing a grappling whiz; Japanese strawberry condensed milk candies; the poems of Joseph Brodsky; Four Nations rugby league; Benny 1.2; a chat with PG; surf'n'turf dining; UKTV docudrama "The Kangaroo Gang: Thieves By Appointment" (2011?), about the Aussie shoplifters who fleeced London in the '60s and '70s; book-of-the-art-exhibition "I Am 8-Bit" (2006); girly graphic novels "The New York Four" (2008) and "The New York Five" (2011), both by Brian Wood and Ryan Kelly; UFC 137 - the build-up, the king-hits'n'misses and the fallout; a shamble 'round the neighbourhood; and "Battlefield 3" in campaign mode on PS3 until I got stuck.

None of this ever happened - http://bit.ly/tRG97P

Vexatious

2011-10-23T23:31:00.001+11:00

If you can, watch the Nat Geo doco "Saxon Gold: Finding The Hoard". It details the 2009 discovery, by an amateur fossicker combing a farmer's field with a metal detector, of 1500+ military and religious treasures dating back 1400 years - and the secretive excavation operation that followed. One of the experts featured on the program, Dr Kevin Leahy, notes, "Is this the biggest Anglo-Saxon gold hoard? No, it's the *only* Anglo-Saxon gold hoard. It's unique; it's unprecedented." Indeed, the size and composition of the trove defy easy interpretation (although theories are advanced). Those involved, who include Dr Helen Geake from "Time Team", also puzzle over craftsmanship that goes beyond what were assumed to be the limits of the time.

I have applied to begin a part-time university degree in 2012...

Flashing back - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo3R3LBjDek

The programmer as developer

2011-10-22T22:55:00.001+11:00

Legate Damar: "It is my duty to inform you that you will be turned over to a Cardassian tribunal, where you will be tried as war criminals."
Ezri Dax: "War criminals? What are the charges?"
LD: "That is not necessary for you to know. All you need to know is that you will be found guilty and executed"
- "DS9: Strange Bedfellows" (S07E19).

"[In Soviet Russia] we knew where we were going - to our graves, in an orderly fashion"
- My lecturer, who grew up in Communist Moscow. (Was she quoting? Google doesn't think so.)

Pulled the plug on "The Dresden Files" after five minutes. For a show about a wizard, it gave off a dull, mainstream vibe, and I couldn't be arsed persevering. Expected to have an identical reaction to "Tower Prep", a TV series about a school for youngsters gifted with special powers. Now where had I seen that idea before? The advert made it look like the over-rated and frankly dumb "Morning Glories", an Image comic also owing a debt to Marvel's "The New Mutants" et al. However, the plotting of veteran DC scribe Paul Dini drew me in, unfolding the mystery of the titular institution steadily while leaving just the right amount of questions unanswered. Though the dialogue occasionally fell flat, there was plenty of action to balance the teen drama. At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite for criticising similarity X (so to speak) and praising homage Y, I dug the echoes of the "The Prisoner" in the way potential escapees were rounded up, as well as the "Harry Potter" familiarity of the central cabal.

~1989: BP, a random named D. and I were passing a partly constructed house when the builder in charge asked if we were interested in an arvo's labouring. He said he'd pay us $20 each. As fit lads ever in search of a quid, we agreed. For the next...I dunno, 3-4 hours, we carried, fetched, swept and menial tasks like that. The foreman nicked off before knock-off, leaving another builder to give us our dough. He was visibly ashamed as he told us, "He only left me $20 for the three of you. But if you want to come to the tavern, I'll buy youse all a beer." Being underage and sans transport - and teetotallers regardless - we declined and proceeded to the nearby takeaway to spend the money on hamburgers. Weeks later, passing a different building site, BP and I encountered the same crew. The head fella called out, asking if we wanted an arvo's labouring, but he was laughing as he did so. I took the stolen handgun from the waistband of my shorts and shot him dead. In an alternate universe. In this universe, one of us yelled, "We'll be right," and we went on down the road.

Who remembers "Earthwatch"?

2011-10-20T23:29:00.009+11:00

Was hit with the dreaded insomnia in the wee hours. Lay abed for strange aeons before finally admitting defeat, turning on the light and reaching for my latest prescribed text. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn's "One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich" (1962) was an awful journey worth taking, if ye ken what I'm saying (to use an inappropriately Scottish phrasing). The gulags were the worst form of torture - backbreaking labour in mind-numbing, soul-destroying conditions. No, that's too glib a description. Those camps forced humans to become rats. To eke out a pathetic, squalid existence in a state of constant fear and desperation. Every rat for itself. The miracle of the novel is how the protagonist finds moments of happiness amid the uncountable cruelties. Similarly, there's a dark poetry to be found in metaphors like "as tightly packed as seeds in a sunflower" and expressions such as "wolf's sunshine" for moonlight.

Have enrolled in my next adult-education course - a history and analysis of Islamic politics by country/region. Can six Tuesday nights and a quartet of reference works cure me of my ignorance? :-)

Changing topic, I totally don't get the cult of Cliff Bleszinski among videogame journalists and fans. He comes across as a stand-up guy, sure, but worthy of, for instance, today's allegedly humorous segment on "X-Play"? On a scale of 1 to 10, my interest is about -20.

Five possible names for a wireless network
1. Daedalus
2. Setec Astronomy
3. Silver Cord
4. Charlotte
5. Porn Funnel 3000

2+2: Suddenly twigged that Maryann Forrester from "True Blood" is Ensign Ro Laren from "Next Gen", aka actress Michelle Forbes. 15-20 years on, her beauty has hardly diminished.

This one's for Morn

2011-10-18T22:45:00.015+11:00

Tasty Bacon Pringles are harsh. Don't believe I've ever given up halfway through a cannister before.

Mary S. Lovell's "The Mitford Girls" (2001) is quite the best biography I've read - and there was a time I read nothing but bios (most of them borrowed from Mayfield Library). It's impeccably researched, dotted with diamantine sentences and never less than fascinating. You find yourself falling for each of the famous sisters in turn...except poor deluded Unity.

Struggling to source an out-of-print volume? Have a peep at AbeBooks.com, a megamart for thousands of independent dealers around the globe. It's been helpful to me on occasion, when Amazon and the local secondhand emporiums weren't. (If you're worried about security, stick with the sellers accepting payment by PayPal.)

Treating myself to Sakae after a day too demanding for a proper meal break, I was positioned near a trio of American businessman who I'd estimate were closer to 60 than 50. I wasn't following their convo, but a comment about a Jackson Browne concert one had attended while in college caught my ear. "He opened with 'Running On Empty'," said the fellow, as if no further explanation was necessary. When I arrived home, I felt compelled to bust out "The Very Best Of JB". What a song.

I'd gone to a normally deserted stretch of the NSW coast with SC and LC to investigate rock carvings revealed when erosion caused a huge chunk of vegetation to fall away from a cliff face. We had their pet cat on a leash. In spite of the fact that (a) he's an indoor cat, and (b) putting cats on leashes is stupid. We weren't alone – lots of folks had also made the drive/hike to observe this unusual phenomenon. There were two small black dogs leaping wavelets. And the carvings were astonishing! Not Aboriginal but Middle-Eastern in style, they seemingly depicted scenes from a royal court. "Babylonian," stated a bearded academic type. We stared at them without speaking as the tide ate into the narrow strip of sand on which we stood. Then it struck me: "They look like vampires." As one, we realised that the mouth of every figure showed tiny fang points. Dom dom DOM! End of dream.

Prompted by MR: Comedy persona Neil Hamburger may be intentionally unfunny/offensive/disturbing on stage, however, "his" Twitter feed - used to bait celebrities and insult clueless, insincere question-asking manufacturers - is hilarious. http://twitter.com/#!/NeilHamburger

Needed for "Innistrad" set: Liliana Of The Veil (holy crap, she's already US$59.99 at Star City Games!), Stromkirk Noble.

Classic Partridge responses - http://bit.ly/orFgdQ

Bong disposal squad ++

2011-10-16T22:07:00.002+11:00

Asakusa, Newtown is a VFM JPNS RSTRNT. That doesn't really work, does it? Never mind. As well as being VFM, it has a friendly atmosphere. When I visited, after Thursday's Russian lit. class, several of the other customers appeared to be regulars, based on the smiley greetings they exchanged with the staff. I took the opportunity to try togarashi tofu, which is like my old favourite agedashi tofu but with chilli and garlic added to the deep-fried bean curd in miso broth (spring onions and bonito flakes are standard to both, AFAIK RDRS). When the waiter set it down, he just said, "Hot tofu." It wasn't very. Unless he meant temperature. However, the flavour was pleasant and I'll probably choose t/t in preference to a/t when it's available in future. The lamb katsu could never compare to Mum's lamb cutlets, with the meat inside these crunchy golden crumbs thin and slightly dry, but there were a few pieces and it made a change from the chicken and pork varieties. Even if I wouldn't order that dish again, I'd be prepared to return to Asakusa and sample something else. And if you're ever there, look up. Then explain to me exactly how all of those little lights on wires hanging from crosswires aren't dangerous. WTF HLTH & SFTY?

Addster: "I bought this pen here yesterday, then found it didn't contain any ink."
Newsagent: "That's not possible." [Scowls]
Addster: "It was about 2.30 in the afternoon, I paid $2.95 for it and I think it might have been you who served me."
Newsagent: [Takes and scans pen, presumably checks sales log] "I'm sorry, please take another."

PB stayed over Saturday, ahead of a week of business here in Sydders. When we weren't walking and talking for miles, we were sport-watching and talking for hours. We also managed to squeeze in feeds from three of my fave nosheries - Sushi Fusion, The Jilted Anchovy and La Cocina.

"People talk about Steven Moffat as being this masterful juggler. Maybe, but he's like a juggler who comes into your home, picks up your most precious things and throws them into the air. Rather than being impressed with his skill, all you want is for him to put them down again and go away"
- Me, in an email discussion about the present decline of "Doctor Who". Yes, I'm proud of that analogy :-)

Okey-dokey, back to "El Shaddai: Ascension Of The Metatron" on PS3...

No. of cards required for a full set of "Innistrad": nine (5xR, 4xM).

Badly gashed the ring finger on my right hand :-(

Now that "The Guild" is betwixt seasons - http://bit.ly/pPVm50

Less mash and fewer peas

2011-10-09T20:48:00.006+11:00

"Listen: I am ideally happy. My happiness is a kind of challenge. As I wander along the streets and the squares and the paths by the canal, absently sensing the lips of dampness through my worn soles, I carry proudly my ineffable happiness. The centuries will roll by, and schoolboys will yawn over the history of our upheavals; everything will pass, but my happiness, dear, my happiness will remain, in the moist reflection of a streetlamp, in the cautious bend of stone steps that descend into the canal's black waters, in the smiles of a dancing couple, in everything with which God so generously surrounds human loneliness"
- from the short story "A Letter That Never Reached Russia" (written in the period 1924-1939) by Vladimir Nabokov.

"[Chas] expresses a theory, heard or read somewhere, that television transmissions, like radio waves, never die - they simply travel further and further into space. This being the case, the missing episodes aren't missing at all, merely out of reach. All that's needed is the appropriate funding and technology to zip yourself to some far corner of the galaxy, armed with a VCR, blank tapes and a decent aerial, and snatch them back. Of course, timing of such expeditions would be crucial, to avoid the crushing disappointment of obsessive fanboys being blasted into the cosmos, only to return with a fuzzy 'Coronation Street' and a couple of 'Jason King's"
- "Single White Who Fan: The Life & Times Of Jackie Jenkins" (from a 1998 column reprinted in this 2011 collection).

"If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!"
- Zapp Brannigan

NT and I saw the musical "Mary Poppins" at the Capitol Theatre and found it to be, as the song goes, "practically perfect". Couldn't fault the cast - kudos to the actresses responsible for the magical MP and winsome Winifred Banks - or the staging, and the strong numbers made up for the less catchy ones. Although I'm always wary about high-wire harnesses since wrestler Owen Hart's tragic demise, the aerial sequences in this show were wowing. Not that any of the special effects compared to Mary's perma-smile or her funny mannerisms such as gliding up stairs. See it if you can.

My UFC 136 wagering was on Zhang, Pettis, Guillard, Sonnen, Aldo and Maynard, for a 3-3 finish and a net loss. MMA betting is hard. Caught the PPV at Grumpy's Inn, Hurlstone Park with MR, SH and a bunch of dudes I hadn't previously met.

The promise of the premise

2011-10-08T14:40:00.010+11:00

Lessons from Sydcon 2011

1. Don't expect the canteen to be open before Session 1. (At my first Sydney convention, in the early '90s, I survived on sausage rolls and Mars bars. Broke my fast with the same at this con, before switching to healthier fare.)
2. The era of "star" teams in matching T-shirts appears over.
3. Players are now encouraged by the organisers to tweet their experiences live.
4. Splitting the party is still a bad, bad thing.
5. Around this neck of the woods at least, tabletop role-playing remains a very Anglo hobby.
6. I reckon there are more eccentrics in this subculture than even the sci-fi, comic and manga ones.
7. Characters in modern scenarios now rely on Google, SMS-ing, etc.
8. Kathy loves Johanna. (Actually, I learnt this from a desk carving.)

How I spent my sessions

SATURDAY
1. "Andersonvilletown 1931: Sex, Lies And Cherry Pie" (custom system)
2. "An ARD Day's Night" (Paranoia)
3. "Witching Stew" (Warhammer FRP 3e)
SUNDAY
4. "Murder In Two Stag Pass" (Legend Of The Five Rings)
5. "Evil On The Loose" (original D&D)
6. "The Shadow From The Chapel" (Call Of Cthulhu)
MONDAY
7. "The Seven Secret Deaths Of The Crystal Dragonfly" (Giallo/Fudge)
8. "Sympathy For The Devil" (World Of Darkness)
*. Skipped the prizegiving. Not my scene and I had a weekend's worth of work to catch up on anyhow.

In a word, the GM was...

1. Committed
2. Mischievous
3. Professional
4. Knowledgeable
5. Laid-back
6. Theatrical
7. Urbane
8. Confident

I played the role of...

1. An ex-pro wrestler
2. A pen pusher
3. A grave robber
4. An archer of the Mantis Clan
5. A dwarf
6. A professor of biochemistry (or something like that)
7. A ballet student
8. A jack-of-all-trades
Note: All PCs except the archer were male.

One interesting feature of the game

1. The six of us got to choose from 26(!) pre-generated characters.
2. Music and sound effects courtesy of the GM's phone.
3. 3D map used for grand finale.
4. The character sheets were lovely, especially the portraits.
5. Took me back to 1982, gaming with the Moldvay basic set on the concrete pitch of an unused cricket net at St Michael's, Nelson Bay.
6. There were laminated reproductions of old photos for all the people and places!
7. While the castle floorplans were neat, the strengths of this module were its originality and rich setting.
8. Run from an iPad, which I guess will go from novelty to standard practice soon enough.

No. of dice rolled, time over or under the scheduled three hours

1. Zero dice, +37 minutes
2. 12, -20
3. I stopped counting at 100, -5
4. 90, +15
5. 14, -5
6. Seven, dead even (or in my case, just dead :-))
7. 28, even
8. 73, even

For RS: Boosters cracked. There seem to be a high proportion of mythics, but also an annoying number of rare doubles and even triples. Sorting next...

From CM: http://little-people.blogspot.com/ <- RECOMMENDED!

Paint it octarine.

A briefer history of time

2011-10-05T23:00:00.003+11:00

1336-1573 - Era of the Ashikaga Shogunate in Japan. The audiobook "Doctor Who: The Jade Pyramid" (written by Martin Day, read by Matt Smith) *seemed* like it was set during this time period. I emailed the author for a more specific date and he was nice enough to reply, giving learned reasons why he'd deliberately kept it vague.

1926 - Bulgakov's "The White Guard" partially published.

1986 - British musos/marketing exercise Sigue Sigue Sputnik deliver a piece of sample-heavy pop-rock genius entitled "Flaunt It", which retains its off-the-wall appeal to this day.

2007 - Founding of free blogging network Tumblr, used primarily for collating pics on a specific subject, as with - to pluck an example from the air - Fuck Yeah Girls With Short Hair.

2011 - New Zealand-born, Australian-based mixed martial artists James Te Huna and Mark Hunt both do the business at UFC 135.

"Take Netflix, which is used by 20 million people to rent and watch movies. Of the movies rented in the US, 60 per cent are chosen because Netflix recommended them. It does this using an algorithm called Pragmatic Chaos, which takes into account other movies you like and how many movies you rated before you rated your most recent one. The algorithm is taking ideas about human behaviour and coding them and reinforcing them.
"The danger is that such an algorithm can create a monoculture. But this is not the way culture works - it is actually much spikier, much less predictable. The movie 'Napoleon Dynamite', for example, always breaks the Netflix algorithm: people who really should love this movie hate it, and people who should hate it, love it"
- Kevin Slavin in "Welcome To The 'Algoworld'", "New Scientist" mag (August 20).

"'The Back to The Future' trilogy is perfect and contains no plot holes! Except for the plot hole inherent in nearly all time-travel films: The planet Earth is moving through space at an immense speed... So if you travel back in time, you are travelling to a time when the Earth was in a different location, and you and your time machine would appear somewhere out in deep space. For a time machine to be useful, it also needs to be able to teleport you to wherever the Earth was/is at your destination time"
- Excerpt from Amazon.com Q&A with Ernest Cline.

"If this fight were to go to the 10th round, Hannibal actually has the fuel to get there, and Genghis just may gas out"
- An amusing application of sporting terminology from Dr Armand Dorian, "Deadliest Warrior" (S03E04).

"Nature abhors a zombie"
- Grave Bramble, "M:TG - Innistrad".

Wazzock.

Self-deceiver

2011-09-24T19:00:00.007+10:00

Sunday - Caught up with my pal MB, who is presently employed as a primary school teacher in a remote township. We ate German food and admired graffiti prints/shirts, then I helped him stock up on cheap tech and worthy tomes.

Monday - Registered for Sydcon on the October long weekend. Assuming I get my choices for all eight sessions of the convention, I shall be role-playin' basic "D&D", "Call Of Cthulhu", "Giallo" (surreal horror), "Legend Of The Five Rings", "Paranoia", "Warhammer FRP", "World Of Darkness" and a homebrew system.

Tuesday - Through my DWCA membership, I won a seat at a cinema showing of "Day Of The Daleks: Special Edition". It had new footage, visual effects and Dalek voices. The Q&A afterwards with Dan Hall from 2entertain, plus the preview of "Reign Of Terror" animation by Oz's Theta Sigma, were the vanilla icing on the carrot cake. Exiting the theatre, we were handed what was alleged to be a world-exclusive alternate inlay for the DVD (which was available for sale prior to its official release date). I can hear the colour photocopiers now...

Wednesday - There was a story about my pal JH on one of those 6.30pm current-affairs programs. Considering I loathe their brand of sensationalist reporting, I thought it was a pretty fair treatment of his grievance/situation.

Thursday - Along with my pal SC, I got a special demonstation of the nearing-completion THQ title "WWE '12". Without instructions, it took us strugglers a while to figure out how to score a pinfall. That didn't prevent me being dazzled by the range of moves and bells'n'whistles. But then, I'm into wrestling.

Friday - Interviewed a smart, spunky MMA chick. Lunched at a Japanese restaurant where the waitress accidentally spilt a bottle of sparkling mineral water on my baseball cap and phone. I could tell the mobi was fine in its sleeve, so I told her not to worry about it, but she wouldn't stop apologising. A second waitress came over to assist with the mopping-up operation and they urged me to check the items weren't damaged. They weren't. When I went to pay for the meal, the cashier looked at me concernedly, and asked, "Are you all right?" I assured her I was A-OK. Then, as I turned to leave, I felt a touch on my arm and there was the first waitress, bowing and apologising again. I hate fuss and found the whole incident faintly embarrassing, but it does illustrate how amazing Japanese customer service can be.

Saturday - No award.

Fangs to "The Ultimate Fighter 14", "Mega Factories: LEGO", the cartoon "Monster House" (2006), the Chekhov play "The Three Sisters" (1900) and the Steve Martin And The Steep Canyon Rangers bluegrass album "Rare Bird Alert" (2011). No fangs to the latest season of "Beauty & The Geek Australia" for eliminating the stunning girl in Week 1.

Check your pants.

Anton Pavlovich

2011-09-17T19:00:00.003+10:00

Sunday - Was delighted by Chekhov's 1896 play "The Sea Gull" and surprised by Neil Gaiman's cameo in S05E07 of "The Guild".

Monday - TG introduced me to David Maxim Micic's overflowing-with-creativity "Bilo" EP. I lashed out on an Xbox 360 pack and rearranged all of my other consoles to accommodate it.

Tuesday - Interviewed an up-and-coming cricketer, viddied the "Torchwood: Miracle Day" finale, won something I'll reveal later.

Wednesday - Yum cha with the dream team (as we don't call ourselves). Was also privileged to attend, as the guest of SC, Tim Willits' excellent presentation "An Evening With id Software" at the Sydney Opera House.

Thursday - Continued and discontinued... Acquired the "A Song Of Ice And Fire" 2012 calendar to carry on from my 2011 edition. Was beguiled by another Chekhov play in "Uncle Vanya" (1897). The 93rd issue of "Retro Gamer" produced less nostalgia than usual, which will make it easier not to renew my subscription.

Friday - Went to a preview screening of new MMA drama fillum "Warrior". Left a minuscule, barely perceptible scratch on the surface of "Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker" on the NDS.

Saturday - Deemed the limited-edition dark cherry Cherry Ripe inferior. Caught up on present TV faves, such as "American Pickers" and fun fluff "House Gift".

Ah, the artificial colours and flavours of my life. Might not utilise this format again as it depresses me somehow.

Irrelevant headings attack!

2011-09-10T22:30:00.001+10:00

[EARLY IS BECOMING REGULAR]

I managed to return to the magazine right on deadline, which meant three hectic days of pushing one issue out the door, followed by two of beginning to build another from scratch. Fortunately, my enthusiasm level is at "11" thanks to my extended staycation.

Helping make the SMTWTFS enjoyable were: Mum's visit, "NY Ink", welcoming workmates, Vietnamese rice-paper rolls, collecting my tickets for "Roger Waters: The Wall Live" in February, securing a prime spot for the Louise Jameson night in October, "Duel Decks: Ajani Vs. Nicol Bolas" (ta for the tip, RS), mango and yoghurt muesli bars, socialist cabbies, finals footy/RWC and a concerted effort to get more sleep.

I keep seeing Asian girls with purplish-grey hair.

Tomorrow, we're resuming SC's "Dark Sun" adventure.

Praying for a miracle in the Knights/Storm clash!

Nicol Bolas 8 - Ajani 2.

I've been dry since July!

The fanboy in the striped pyjamas

2011-09-03T01:00:00.004+10:00

[VERY EARLY EDITION]

Drama king

How many people do you know who changed their Christian name upon reaching adulthood? Note: I'm not talking about using a shortened form of it or giving preference to a second or third name. I mean they adopted a whole new name. Right at this minute, I can recall meeting four - two guys and two gals - one of whom, to the understandable disapproval of his parents, took a different surname as well. I'm also aware of a former schoolmate (male) who did the first-name switcheroonie. I wonder how many other name-changers I've encountered without realising.

Useless movie reviews (late Aug./early Sept.)
* "Remo Williams - The Adventure Begins": Prior to captaining Voyager, Kate Mulgrew was a major in the US Army.
* "To Live And Die In L.A.": Music composed and performed by Wang Chung.
* "Helvetica": I'm more of a Data 70 man, myself.
* "The Parking Lot Movie": [Empathises]
* "Best Worst Movie": Will ask for "Troll 2" on my next trip to Video Ezy.
* "Jackass 3": RIP Ryan Dunn.

Spring dawning

A brief investigation of the Amazon "top reviewers" list and its discussion board reveals a subculture of genuinely helpful souls (often experts in a particular area), underhanded tactics (e.g. using negative feedback dishonestly to manipulate the rankings), plagiarists (boosting their tallies with write-ups stolen from IMDb, etc.), gloating/jealousy (make it into the Vine program and you may be sent freebies to assess), vindictive obsessives (repeatedly targetting rivals or those who criticise their beloved whatever), eccentricity (in both what is said and how it is written), and voices of reason crying out for Amazonian reform amid the apathetic, the confused and the regenerating trolls. However, there are stimulating debates to be discovered, such as whether a reviewer should be verified to have purchased the item in question. We won't get into that worm-can of kettle-fish here.

Once were worrywarts

While emptying a box of textbooks and papers from a tertiary false start circa 2006, I unearthed a signed photo of Hulk Hogan! It was in the back of a plastic folder marked "uni work" and filled with administrative bumf. Who? Where? WHY?

Arkham postponed

The state government is considering extending the light-rail service to my suburb. According to the recent council newsletter, 11,000 people commute to the CBD from "Randwick City" every weekday! No wonder it's so tough to get a seat on the bus!

Benny > Lara

The bag I throw my pocket change into was getting ridiculously full, so I fished out all the $2 coins. There were four-hundred bucks' worth! Took fiddy to the newsagency and grabbed a stack of magz/comicz I loved in decades gone by, to see how they'd evolved. You'll be pleased to hear that "Mad" and "2000AD" continue to kick goals :-)

Locked in a little grey cell

Although I've moved on from periodicals specialising in one-handed entertainment to a rag that deals with the two-fisted persuasion, I like to socialise with my champion ex-colleagues. It's hard at the moment because I'm avoiding nocturnal excursions and abstaining from alcohol, but I wasn't missing Wednesday's farewell for XS, the person who's inspired me most in publishing - even if it meant drinking litres (exaggeration) of sickly lemon squash. You could pick any notable journo to go against him, randomly set a topic, allow breaks for strong coffee, smelly cigarettes and spicy food, and I guarantee XS would write circles 'round them. His copy would be word perfect, too.

Season of the magpie

Go-Lo's videogame bargain bin had two titles I wanted (one PS2, one PS3). Score! I carried the empty cases to the counter, where the checkout chick rang them up and called a young dude from the floor to retrieve the discs and instruction booklets. He searched the cupboards underneath all of the registers, found zilch and notified the manager. *He* appeared, searched the same cupboards with the same result and, eventually, sheepishly, offered me a refund. So apparently their entire store of games has gone AWOL.

Because lettuce

To ease into further education, I have enrolled in and paid for a six-week evening course on Russian literature offered through Sydney University. The fee was a mere $200, although the reading materials will cost a comparable amount. I'm a student again!

DON'T FORGET THAT "DOCTOR WHO" RETURNS TONIGHT - ABC1, 7.30PM!

Wealth hazard

2011-08-28T09:00:00.000+10:00

New mates

Spent Sunday "D&D"-ing at TC's joint (also present: LPO, JM, LM). Was mightily impressed by his latest import - a dedicated gaming table with slide-out trays for each of the six places (complete with dice holders), plus two covered compartments inside the tabletop where he had encounter maps/miniatures set up ready, out of sight. My Half-orc cleric was joining the party for the fourth session of what was already a convoluted campaign, so I concentrated on the tasks at hand. These boiled down to us slogging through a disease-ridden jungle, vanquishing a gang of assorted lizardfolk in the ruins of an Elvish temple, then holding off another, trickier force as we defended a village until its inhabitants could flee by boat. But for my comrades' heroics, I would have died in the first battle AND the second. Got a lift to Kogarah afterwards, caught a train to Central, then decided to hop a cab from there because it was growing chilly. Ended up in one of only a dozen or so (I'm told) Toyota Prius taxis in Sydney. When I expressed an interest, the driver turned on the "energy monitor" display and explained how the car's hybrid petrol-electric system works in practice. Fascinating stuff! An unexpected bonus.

Waiting for the man

Why is it that courier companies, even when rung as soon as they open, can't provide a more precise delivery time than a four-hour window? Do their drivers choose a route at random?

Funnier than "Tron: Legacy" (ta, DL)

http://bit.ly/pMKgrC

On the turning away

Let's pretend the boring, overly self-indulgent "The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen - Century: 1969" never happened. In fact, I'm tempted to mindwipe myself of everything post-"Volume II". Can't wait until Alan Moore gets off this copious-references-to-the-detriment-of-the-rest-of-it track.

Useless movie reviews (August, part deux)

"Hancock": Has forced me to totally reappraise Will Smith's acting abilities.
"Faintheart": It's a play on "Braveheart", don'tcha know.
"The Sacred Blacksmith - The Complete Collection": "Awaken, and slay God!"
"Eko Eko Azarak III - Misa The Dark Angel": Dunno if I can sit through another of these.
"JourneyQuest - Season 1": Must remember to "like" Dead Gentlemen on Facey.
"The Dungeon Masters": There but for the grace of Pelor go I.
"Harvey Putter And The Ridiculous Premise": Remind me again why I bought this.
"Zack And Miri Make A Porno": A Christmas gift...in 2008.

Stewart Lee rocks

Read this tabloid crap - http://bit.ly/pg3oZM
Then read SL's rebuttal - http://bit.ly/pfWhWZ
And then, if you've got time, check out some of his comedy routines on YouTube.

Cute disclaimer

"In the interest of privacy, names and identifying characteristics have been changed, timelines have been compressed, and some of the dialogue is more exact than some of the other dialogue. Although subject to impression and memory, this is a work of non-fiction. The events described have happened. Except, of course, for a couple of passages, which I'm pretty sure have been so distorted by interpretation that no place and no-one involved with them actually exist, including myself, including you"
- "How Did You Get This Number" (2010) by Sloane Crosley.

"You know me well / But I don't know you at all"

2011-08-20T21:41:00.005+10:00

[EARLY EDITION]

The perfect videogame

* Is played entirely offline, favouring AI and imagination over unnecessary complexity and oh-so-many assclowns
* Will NEVER have DLC - it is a complete product
* Nor does it try to blackmail customers into chain-store pre-orders by offering exclusive content. Whenever or wherever you purchase it, you will have unfettered access to 100% of the features
* There is no special edition of the perfect videogame available. It can stand on its own merits without an oversized package of "collectible" tat
* It is neither sequel nor tie-in nor first-person shooter but rather a wholly original concept
* The "team" behind it was as small as possible, preferably a lone individual with a vision unsullied by committee or focus group
* Is immersive, intuitive, balanced, replayable and FUN
* Borders on art

Seven gets brushed (and comes across as a tad creepy)

Jevvan: "How did you get here?"
The Doctor: "It flies, too, you see. Short jumps. Long jumps. You'll see on the way home. Any other luggage?"
"Home?"
"Isn't that where you're going?"
"Yeah, but..."
"Well, I'll have you back in time for your birthday!"
"It doesn't take a year to get to Earth."
"The birthday you just missed. Home in a twinkling - before a twinkling can even start."
"No!"
"What?"
"Not like that. Don't just assume."
"Scenic destinations? Wine-dark skies, forests of smoke..."
"Bet you say that to everyone."
"I try to vary it."
"No, sorry. I want to see the bits in between, out the window. No point in travelling if I don't see where I'm going."
"Ahhh."
"So thanks, Doctor, but no thanks."
- from the Big Finish Productions audiobook "Doctor Who: Valhalla" (2007) by Marc Platt.

Women's World Cup wackiness

"While the Matildas can feel satisfied with a quarter-final exit, they did not peddle an excuse quite as spectacular as that of the North Korea coach Kim Kwang Min in the wake of their opening-game defeat to the USA. He claimed his players were still feeling the effects of being struck by lightning at a pre-tournament training camp! 'Five of the players were hit by lightning and were in hospital,' said Kim. 'The fact that they played in this match is abnormal. It is a result of their very powerful and strong will.' However, FIFA media officer Julie Brown said, 'It was news to us all'"
- "Australian FourFourTwo" magazine, September 2011.

Yeah-nah

Doritos Burn? Yes, they do. Here's why - paprika, chilli cayenne pepper, green bell pepper, vinegar powder, onion powder, garlic powder. Unfortunately, it's not a "flavour" (tingling tongue, back-of-throat heat, minimum taste) I can recommend.

Useless movie reviews (August, part une)

"The Expendables - Inferno Edition": Terrific, but where were Bolo Yeung, Jeff Speakman, Olivier Gruner, Michael Dudikoff, Sho Kosugi...?
"Tron: Legacy": Stand back while I kill it with a rock.
Liverpool Vs. Leeds United 1965 FA Cup Final: 2-1.
"The Firm": 2009 reworking of the 1989 film about football hooliganism.

Who's your fave porn actress named after a "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" character? Mine's April O'Neil :-) (Apologies to Nancy Shredder and Veronica Krang.)

Old mate

PG crashed at mine on Friday before flying to England early the following morning. We talked nonstop, ate pizza from The Jilted Anchovy and thrilled to *extremely* close wins by the Storm and Rabbitohs, both of which won me money (from Sportingbet, not PG). He's gonna try to get to a Super League fixture while in the Motherland - lucky beggar!

Psychic archaeology

2011-08-14T16:00:00.001+10:00

Ticks

While stuck at home for three weeks with a severe case of pneumonia, I have watched plenty of Foxtel, mostly documentaries and motoring reality shows, e.g. "Wheeler Dealers" and "Chop Shop: London Garage" on Discovery Turbo MAX. My biggest complaint about the state of cable telly - besides bullshit about the moon landings being faked appearing on The History Channel and not SCI FI - is the overwhelming number of insurance adverts, all based around scare tactics. Life insurance, income insurance, funeral cover... It's no exaggeration to say that every second commercial break, the viewer is confronted with scenes of fictitious families worrying about how they're going to cope without some financial plan or other. These ads tend to be longer than the regular variety, too, as the parasites responsible attempt to drive their suckers deep for a good drink of blood.

Late-breaking news

A Facebook freund posted this link. It's not exactly current, but I reckon it's still very cool. Back in '03, the duo from the "Mastermind" game box were reunited after 30 years to recreate and tell the story of that famous image - http://bit.ly/IlLvn. I've always found the shot slightly sinister, probably because they remind me of a Bond villain and his hench-babe! (Or, if you prefer, a Bond femme fatale and her thrall.)

No Mercy, sir

"We are now looking at coming to Australia and New Zealand another time. We'll let you know when." So reads the homepage of The Sisters Of Mercy in the wake of the Soundwave Revolution festival's sudden, LAME-O cancellation (how can they blame one headline act pulling out when there were 30-odd bands on the bill?). [Sigh] I just knew it would fall through :-(

Goblin Fartknocker (2012 Core Set pre-cons)

1st - "Blood And Fire" (R/b) - 4 matches, 9 games
2nd - "Sacred Assault" (W/g) - 2 matches, 7 games
3rd - "Entangling Webs" (G/r) - 2 matches, 6 games
4th - "Grab For Power" (B/u) - 2 matches, 5 games
5th - "Mystical Might" (U/w) - 0 matches, 3 games

* "G/F/P" might have fared better if I'd got the Crown/Scepter/Throne Of Empires combo out more than once in 12 games that were generally quite lengthy.

2038

"Is programming a kind of creative writing? The notion seems outlandish at first blush. Any discipline that involves complex mathematics and symbolic logic does not seem to share the same cubbyhole with poetry and self-expression. Yet the programming field could learn much from the writing world, argues Richard Gabriel, a veteran of the Lisp and object-oriented programming worlds who is now a Distinguished Engineer at Sun. 'My view is that we should train developers the way we train creative people like poets and artists. People may say, "Well, that sounds really nuts." But what do people do when they're being trained, for example, to get a master of fine arts in poetry? They study great works of poetry. Do we do that in our software engineering disciplines? No. You don't look at the source code for great pieces of software. Or look at the architecture of great pieces of software. You don't look at their design. You don't study the lives of great software designers. So you don't study the literature of the thing that you're trying to build'"
- "Dreaming In Code" (2007) by Scott Rosenberg, p.299.

Red underarmy blues

"If your grandfather hadn't worn it, you wouldn't exist"
- slogan on back of Old Spice stick deodorant.

Sarah frank

"I've heard that when one writes in a diary, they are secretly hoping that it will someday be read and appreciated by others. But have you actually ever read anyone's diary? I doubt it, because they are unreadable. If life is a meal, then diaries are the toilets in which we shit out its vile remnants. They are litanies of complaints, grandiosity and self-pity. There's always the occasional happy entry, but they tend to be more brief. If my experience with this book is any guide, the very act of sitting alone in a room writing fuels misery. If you're happy, you probably don't have time to write for long periods in a diary because you're out barbecuing or doing some sort of fusion-y sport like surf-ball-skiing or heli-yoga-jumping"
- "The Bedwetter" (2010) by Sarah Silverman, p.135.

What are ya?

2011-08-07T16:52:00.005+10:00

New Phyrexia pre-cons

1st - "Artful Destruction" (G/W) - 3 matches, 8 games
2nd - "Feast Of Flesh" (B/R) - 2 matches, 7 games
3rd - "Ravaging Swarm" (U/G) - 2 matches, 6 games
4th - "Life For Death" (R/W) - 2 matches, 6 games (lost on countback)
5th - "Devouring Skies" (B/U) - 1 match, 3 games

Nailed it like a plank

"March 1994 was also the month that Mike Newell unleashed 'Four Weddings And A Funeral' on an unsuspecting cinema audience. Starring Hugh Grant as Hugh Grant and an unlikeable Andie McDowell as the unlikeable American he falls in love with, it's most memorable for Wet Wet Wet's truly awful rendition of The Troggs' 'Love Is All Around'"
- "Retro Gamer #92"

Useless movie reviews (July)

"Tomb Raider – The Cradle Of Life": A shark growled at Lara underwater.
"The Fist Foot Way": Fred Simmons is the proto-Kenny Powers.
"How To Train Your Dragon": What a stupid n...THOSE GRAPHICS ARE AWESOME!
"The Terrorist": Turkish-American co-production is doubly convoluted.
"Captain America": Don't you find it strange how quietly the Hydra agents die?

Latest fake book dedication

"To Cap. Keep it sensible! - The crew"

Latest mystery of history

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phaistos_Disc

Scaling down

2011-07-31T07:42:00.003+10:00

After a lot of thought, I have deleted my Tumblr and Twitter pages. I will be staying on Blogger (obviously) and Facebook, but only logging in to them about once a week.

Addster would do better at blogging if he applied himself in class

2011-07-26T00:15:00.006+10:00

1:07 of 11 and co. in part two (8-13) of six, ETA ~27/08:

http://bit.ly/p0Rd1W

Georgian pinching match

2011-07-24T20:44:00.002+10:00

An ol' pal of mine may be heading down a dangerous path...

"Beware of anyone who drinks excessive amounts of Mountain Dew. Back when I was a police officer, any time I broke into a meth laboratory or pulled someone over who was trafficking drugs, I found a shit-ton of empty Mountain Dew containers on the floor of their trailer or backseat of their car"

- Forrest Griffin, "Be Ready When The Sh*t Goes Down" (2010)

And yes, I have been watching "Horrible Histories". Avidly.

Emergent behaviour

2011-07-17T22:00:00.024+10:00

Notes on the Sydney Anime and Manga SHow (SMASH):

* The big new venue - Darling Harbour Convention Centre - was brilliant. Finally, a local con where you didn't have to fight your way between dealer tables! The separate auditorium was a truly impressive space in which to hold the cosplay comp, etc. Getting there via escalator even gave the event a hint of a Comic-Con feel :-)

* I wasn't in a buying mood and spent a mere tenner on merch... Bead coaster of the classic "Space Invaders" ship firing its cannon. Badge saying "It's a trap", with an arrow to the right. Sheet of stickers based on "Super Mario Bros" power-ups. A T-shirt of The Who that replaced the band with the 4th, 8th, 10th and 11th Doctors was tempting, but I don't regret not purchasing it.

* SMASH has consistently placed a greater emphasis on the creative side of the hobby than Animania (or Supernova or Armageddon Expo), and that was clearer than ever this year - more colleges seeking to attract students, more art supplies for sale (computer and paper), and more fannish wares. A guy flogging anthropomorphic sketches reminded me of an erstwhile acquaintance.

* Also on the increase were the anime club booths, eg. there's now a Parramatta group called Parra-noia. Oh, and I should have added in the last point that the crafts on display included Gundam model-making in the form of (what I assume was the Australian heat of) the Gunpla Builders World Cup. Some amazing paintjobs/dioramas!

* Won't go into detail about the costumes. Suffice it to say the choices highlighted the enduring popularity of certain shows, eg. "One Piece". There was an apparent rise in skintight cossies - I suppose winter is the optimum time to wear them. Still passed a few (exclusively male) stinkies. We suffer for their art! Several of the stall-holders went to the trouble of dressing up, eg. Solid Snake was peddling plastic weapons.

* Just on the stinky thing... As is sadly the norm for these gatherings, there was a general lack of manners. People walking around, coughing openly, obviously carrying the nerd flu. I don't believe I heard a single "excuse me", though I always offered one when I inadvertently bumped into someone. Unlike the family that trooped across my foot like a line of ducks, without uttering a word of apology!

* Other developments - Digital radio station SBS Pop Asia was playing over the sound system, which was apt. Attractive cosplayers were selling photobooks of themselves in character (I'm guessing this is standard practice overseas). There were three comperes for the cosplay comp, but they didn't work me. Let's just say their humour was skewed towards a younger audience. When they interrupted the entrants with a shambles of a charity auction, I exited.

* Irrespective of my old-man grumbles, SMASH 2011 was the most professional, user-friendly convention of its type that I've attended in Sydders. PS. While banging out this half-arsed report, I've had the first 5Dolls mini album on repeat. There was a girl at the con who resembled Chanmi (asymmetrical blonde bob from Coed School era) to such a degree I had to do a double-take. Maybe it was intentional.

"Broken Leg" by Bluejuice*

2011-07-17T21:52:00.002+10:00

(from 2009's "Head Of The Hawk")

Walking around on broken leg
Well, I can't get you outta my head
Well, I can't get you outta my head
You don't want to know me

Walking around on broken leg
Well, I can't get you outta my head
Well, I can't get you outta my head
You don't want to know me

And all these fakes and all these frauds
And you get your leg up and the big supports
I'm drowning
I'm drowning

Went to bed with Petra and Jen
They don't want to see me again
All your lovers and all of your friends
They don't want to know me

Walking around on broken leg
Well, I can't get you outta my head
What was that that I heard you said?
They don't want to know me

And all these fakes and all these frauds
And you get your leg up and the big supports
I'm drowning
I'm drowning

And all these girls with their high IQs
And you can try to resist but it's no use
I'm drowning
I'm drowning

It all comes down to you
It's all on your head
What you do
What you do
What you say

It all comes down to you
It's all on your head
Are you gonna get up?
Are you gonna stay in bed?
Woah

Walking around on broken leg
Well, I can't get you outta my head
Well, I can't get you outta my head
You don't want to know me

Walking around on broken leg
Well, I can't get you outta my head
What was that that I heard you said?
You don't want to know me

And all these fakes and all these frauds
And you get your leg up and the big supports
And all these girls with their high IQs
And you can try to resist but it’s no use
Woah

Walking around on broken leg (woah)
Walking around on broken leg (woah)
Walking around on broken leg (woah)
You don't want to know me

*These lyrics are unofficial and therefore may not be 100% accurate. The CD booklet only quotes a line from each song.

http://bit.ly/16KGjF

You unmake a good point

2011-07-15T23:14:00.003+10:00

The Special Set at Sushi Hon, located in the Food On Five section of the Pitt St Mall Westfield, is the most satisfying Japanese meal set I've ever had - and I've had many. Quality ingredients (nothing greasy), careful presentation and little touches like the wedge of fake crab in the udon soup and the dish of seasonal fruit pieces on the side won me over.

Shear(man) delight

2011-07-10T11:07:00.010+10:00

I'm not sure if it's appropriate for fanBOYS to squee, but if it is, then that's what I did when my copy of Robert Shearman's "Everyone's Just So So Special" arrived in the mail. My luvverly black hardcover copy, signed and numbered #69, that is! The Pommy bloke's two previous short-story collections, "Tiny Deaths" (2007) and "Love Songs For The Shy And Cynical" (2009), just oozed originality - the former picking up a World Fantasy Award, the latter a British Fantasy Award - and I expect "E/J/S/S/S" to be no different, with its theme of "a new history of the world, filled with the sort of people who seem to get left out of the books taught from in schools". The best part - we 100 purchasers of the limited-edition HC are promised a supplemental tale by Shearman (500 words min.) about an ancestor/descendant of ours with the exact same name. Commencing August 1, these extra yarns will be published here - http://bit.ly/roozeo. I've gotta polish off a couple of other worthy tomes before plunging into "Everyone's...", but if your curiousity's been aroused, I doubt I could improve on this synopsis - http://bit.ly/nFxM0l

Nuance

2011-07-09T07:03:00.002+10:00

In the June 2011 issue of music rag "Mojo", an unnamed member of indie rockers British Sea Power makes a nice point about LP/CD/MP3 snobbery:

"We find it weird when people have that strong an opinion on audio formats. Isn't it a bit like judging films by what telly you watch them on?"

111%

2011-07-09T05:33:00.008+10:00

Listed below are just some of the gigs that, based on positive F2F interviews, I really thought were mine...only to receive no callback, having presumably been pipped at the post by a more suitable candidate.

Report writer for a private detective agency

They liked the fact I was studying English, had won a scholastic prize from the local newspaper and dabbled in creative writing. I think the deal-breaker was that I didn’t have a car. (The office was a long way from where I was living, and I imagine there were occasional late nights involved.) My Dirk Gently fantasies dashed, I never applied for this sort of position again.

Video store attendant

With plenty of customer-service experience, including a stint as an usher, I was confident. Especially when the manager lady kept making encouraging comments like, "I'm glad you're so tall - I'll be able to get you to put up all of the posters for me." As it was, she didn't get me to do anything. My "Clerks" fantasies dashed, I never applied for this sort of position again.

Salesman(?) for a web search engine

If that sounds vague, then so was the classified advert, and the chap who interviewed me was downright enigmatic. He spouted conspiracy theories for 30+ minutes, before announcing, "So, Adam, the answer is yes." What the actual question was remains unknown. My backdoor-into-the-IT-industry fantasies dashed, I never applied for this sort of position again.

There were numerous other "jobs that got away", but I was memory-jogged about this trio recently while discussing ancient employment history with a colleague. Did you notice my strategy for dealing with rejection? :-)

NSFJ

2011-07-06T20:13:00.017+10:00

After the thee-ah-tah on Saturday, I decided that as I was reasonably well dressed - good shoes, good jeans, new shirt, sportscoat - I'd eat somewhere fancy. My editor had mentioned French/British restaurant Balzac during the week, and since friends and family members had been recommending it forever, I made up my mind to go there. Phoned 'em on the way and was sitting at an upstairs table 20 minutes later. The interior was an elegant arrangement of white, cream, browns, grey and black. Columns, drop lights, minimal plants, with thick sandstone blocks and wooden shutters keeping out the sights'n'sounds of the main street. If 13 years of private education gave me anything, it was a sense of entitlement, so after a perfunctory glance at the menu, I plumped for the nine-course degustation with matching wines. Ahem...

1. Salt cod croquette with sauce tartare
NOTES: Underwhelming. My mother makes far superior croquettes.

2. Fennel veloute with spanner crab and spanish onion vinaigrette
NOTES: More like what I was expecting, ie. it reminded me of a dish from Tetsuya's.

3. Hot smoked bonito rillette with pickled cucumber, shaved fennel and king crab
+ 2009 Atlas "172^" Riesling (Clare Valley, SA)
NOTES: The first properly interesting taste and a decent combo with the wine.

4. Roast skate with saffron noodles, calamari, clams, mussels and fennel
+ 2005 Domaine Barmes-Buecher Pinot Gris Traditional (Alsace, France)
NOTES: Impossibly delicate pasta, couldn't criticise the ray or other seafood. Complex!

5. Cream of Jerusalem artichokes with schnitzel of lamb shoulder and belly, barley and manchego
+ 2008 Nebbiolo D'Alba, Brezza "Santa Rosalia" (Piedmont, Italy)
NOTES: Another wonderful creation that was so creamy, so savoury and so moreish.

6. Daube of beef cheek with onions, sprouts and horseradish
+ 2009 Vdp Yves Cuilleron Syrah (France)
NOTES: Slow-cooked in stock for 5-6 hours, the meat was as tender as it was flavoursome.

Forewent the post-mains cheese platter. I knew I'd probably have sufficient real estate - despite preceding this lot with a large buttered roll and a Cascade Light - but I thought I might save that pleasure for a return visit in the company of a fellow epicure/garbage guts.

7. Chilli roast pineapple with coconut
NOTES: No wine with this "pre-dessert". Candied pineapple in a yummy coconut foam.

8. Quince tart with cinnamon ice-cream
+ NV Barbadillo Pedro Ximenez (Jerez, Spain)
NOTES: May be forgetting an ingredient here. OK tart, top-notch ice-cream, but just give me the sherry in future.

9. Selection of petits fours
+ Green tea (my choice)
NOTES: A coffee truffle, white chocolate'n'macadamia nut cookie and strawberry jelly cube, charmingly served on a bed of chocolate pastry crumbs inside a decorative curl of bark.

In conclusion, considering Balzac is in my own backyard, apparently easy to book, with service to rival that of pricier establishments (believing they'd undercharged me, I queried the total), it may become my new place to drag out-of-towners. Lest I lie by omission, I will admit it was tough not to grow bored alone throughout what ended up being a three-hour meal, but that was hardly the fault of my hosts. Next time I'll bring a guest - and we'll have the cheese!

The one who denied it supplied it

2011-06-28T21:31:00.004+10:00

When you were a child, did you ever make a trail for a sibling or friend to follow by chalking arrows on footpaths, fences, gutters, telegraph poles and other natural canvases? What was at the end of it? A chocolate biscuit on a plate? An unoccupied trampoline? Or did you play the mean trick of having the trail lead the person right back to where they began? Was the final arrow perhaps pointing to a chalked message of - to your childish mind - great significance? What did it say?

Crodlu meat

2011-06-27T22:54:00.001+10:00

From the review of "Shikabane Hime: Corpse Princess Part 1" by David West in "The Ultimate Guide To Anime":

"One odd quirk - when a Shikabane is injured in battle, they need to be held by their contracted monk to heal, proving what mums everywhere have always known - a hug makes everything better."

You don't have to be a teacher to appreciate this

2011-06-17T22:00:00.003+10:00

Merely male...

"He returns the crossword, now a single square of blackness, to the table, and leans back Byronically on the couch. 'This isn't how I imagined the teaching life, Howard. I saw myself naming the planets for apple-cheeked sixteen-year-old girls. Watching their hearts awaken, taking them aside and gently talking them out of the crushes they have on me. "The boys my age are such dorks, Mr Farley." "I know it seems like that now. But you're young and you're going to meet some wonderful, wonderful men." Finding poems on my desk every morning. And underwear. Poems and underwear. That's what I thought life was all about. Look at me now. A failed kidult'"

- p63, "Skippy Dies" (2010) by Paul Murray

Thinking about it, at least three mates who peruse this prattle are or have been edumacators, so maybe they'll appreciate it more ;-)

Candace And The Cockroaches

2011-06-15T23:12:00.007+10:00

"Why have you just booked two nights' accommodation in Parramatta for late September, Addster?"

"Because I will be attending Soundwave Revolution there and know I'll enjoy it much more if I don't have to travel to or from the venue on that day."

"But you always say you're too old for music festivals."

"I do, don't I? The difference is that the line-up for this one includes The Sisters Of Mercy, a band I've dreamt of seeing live for 20+ years."

"They're not really the same group now, though. Andrew Eldritch, the current 'Doktor Avalanche' and some hired guns..."

"Eldritch *is* The Sisters. Next question."

"Who else are you keen to catch at SR?"

"In This Moment, definitely. Maybe Alice Cooper, depending on the crowd. Everybody I know raves about the Devin Townsend Project. Steel Panther could be amusing. To be honest, I need to research a bunch of the acts on YouTube."

"Do you think there's any chance Candace And The Cockroaches might be a last-minute addition to the bill?"

"Unlikely."

Promo sapien

2011-06-10T23:16:00.004+10:00

My p/review copy of PS3 game "Infamous 2" came with a replica of protagonist Cole MacGrath's wallet, containing:

* Driver's licence
* Credit card
* Banknotes
* Restaurant receipt
* Newspaper clippings
* Strip club business card

The bits were all relatively lifelike and fun to extract and examine. Whoever thought up the idea should be commended.

Consummate amateur

2011-06-03T22:34:00.003+10:00

[Unfinished musing found on my work computer:]

My favourite Smiths song at the moment is "Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others". At face value, it appears to be about breast size, especially when taking into account the extra verse introduced by Morrissey on the lone occasion it was performed live, which begins "On the shop floor/There's a calendar". But it doesn't require much Googling to realise that opinions vary. While most commenters agree it is about literal rather than figurative women, many argue that the boobular interpretation is overly simplistic. Some contend that the "bigger" refers to body weight or perhaps social status, which may explain the "Some girls' mothers" part. Others claim it's "bigger" in the sense of magnanimity or the capacity to love.

[Where was I going with this? I don't remember.]

Unfortunate waterfowl

2011-06-01T23:19:00.011+10:00

I'd vowed not to touch Eoin Colfer's "And Another Thing" - billed as "Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Part Six Of Three" - but curiousity and a bargain bin conspired to make a liar of me. It's clever, bordering on bloody clever. It's respectful in the sense that Colfer clearly knows the absurd source material backwards. It's also kinda tedious, especially in the latter stages, and there were times I thought about tossing it aside. The reason why is that it reads too much like an author trying to be clever and respectful on his way to an inevitable neat resolution. What it doesn't feel like is a proper story. There's certainly no sense of the endless possibility embodied in the concept of the Guide itself. Indeed, the abundant - some would say over-abundant - "H2G2" entries suffer from the same feeling of souless contrivance, however skilful. Don't bother with this novel, even if it's remaindered and you're itching to discover what happens next. I shouldn't have.

Pat Mills on the history of girls' comics in issue #5 of "Comic Heroes"

2011-05-31T00:16:00.003+10:00

"Another male writer was Joe Collins, who scripted 'Becky Never Saw The Ball' - about a blind tennis player! I used to treasure it as the most bonkers girls' story of all time, alongside 'Bunty''s 'Limp Along Lindy' and 'Flipper Feet' (a girl who's a champion swimmer thanks to her huge feet). Although I learned recently that they've all been surpassed by another 'Bunty' story called 'Penny's Pogo Stick'. It's World War 2, and Penny's dad is a top rocket scientist in Poland. She hides his rocket formulae in her pogo stick and pogoes her way across Nazi-occupied Europe to freedom."

Prize picks

2011-05-23T22:13:00.008+10:00

Archibald

1. "Professor Penny Sackett, Astronomer And Physicist" by Andrew Mezei - light years ahead of the rest
2. "Moon Boy (Self-Portrait As A Young Man)" by Tim Storrier
3. "Margaret Olley" by Ben Quilty

Wynne

1. "Lines And Whispers - Redfern" by Scott McDougall
2. "Nostalgia (Empire Of The Coals)" by Tim Storrier
3. "Tekno-Colour" by Luke Barker

Sulman

Megan Jones' "Darwinian Cycle" is about the only one I'd consider hanging on my wall, though I did like the way John Dean had piled silicon onto a clear plastic curtain to "paint" the skull in "Made In China". A 2D representation doesn't do it justice.

See what you lot reckon - http://bit.ly/hQFAVY

These

2011-05-14T23:47:00.002+10:00

This - http://bit.ly/gBGDjk

And this - http://bit.ly/eGxSqS

Textured vegetable protein

2011-05-14T13:06:00.006+10:00

It's funny how when you're young you so desperately want to trumpet your musical passion to the world. For me, that was Canadian prog-rock trio Rush. I stencilled the logo from their 1989 album "Presto" onto my backpack. When "Nike" wore off the back of my high-tops, you can guess what four letters I replaced it with. The words "Rush are gods" came out of my mouth so often that a mate (who reads this site) tried it as the password to my computer account and gained access. From a "head shop", I got a patch with the band's name and symbol - a naked man confronting a pentagram - and had Mum sew it onto a plain black cap that I wore until it practically disintegrated. Later, I bought a Mr Men tee of Mr Rush, hoping peeps might begin referring to me as such. No-one apart from my flatmates even made the connection.

Drop the hero and get with a zero

2011-05-08T12:22:00.021+10:00

I had a real love-hate relationship with the two-part opener of "Doctor Who" Season 6, "The Impossible Astronaut"/"Day Of The Moon". For every striking image or charming line of dialogue (River Song is the Great Scene Robber), there was a plot element like Amy's quantum pregnancy or whatever the fug it is - exactly the kind of nonsense that ruined "The X-Files". To be honest, one of my favourite moments was when they used Depeche Mode's "Enjoy The Silence" in the second "Confidential".

The problem as I see it is Steven Moffat. His "The Empty Child"/"The Doctor Dances" was among the best stories of Season 1. Ditto S2's "The Girl In The Fireplace". His "Blink" was the undisputed highlight of S3 (if not the modern era), while "Silence In The Library"/"Forest Of The Dead" was right up there in S4. But part of what made those so special was that they stood out amid more conventional "Who" tales. You wouldn't want every ep to be as brain-bending, spooky or odd.

Except that Mr M. is now in charge of the show. Admittedly, his Season 5 opener "The Eleventh Hour" was wonderful, but "The Beast Below" wasn't. Then the convoluted "The Time Of Angels"/"Flesh And Stone", while it featured drama, amusing character developments and some temporal trickery, failed to live up to the legacy of "Blink". (Ask yourself which you'd rather rewatch.) As for "The Pandorica Opens"/"The Big Bang"...that was a mess narrowly salvaged by its emotional conclusion.

In my opinion, the star story of Season 5 was Richard Curtis' "Vincent And The Doctor". For S6, I'm pinning my hopes on Neil Gaiman's "The Doctor's Wife". Back when Russell T. Davies was at the helm, I would have confidently predicted the standout to be "whatever Steven Moffat does". That's no longer the case and it's a shame. The dude's an expert on "Who", an expert on TV generally and an immensely talented writer, but he appears to be getting caught up in his own web of continuity.

Looking back in disbelief

2011-05-01T21:21:00.008+10:00

1. I played "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons" for sport at a Catholic senior high school.
2. Our initial Dungeon Master was a female teacher (so Dungeon Mistress, then).
3. One module was written by her hubby, based on Aristotle's theory of the five elements.
4. We naughty boys managed not to get role-playing cancelled/banned for eternity.

The biggest hobo

2011-05-01T20:54:00.007+10:00

Conducted a not very scientific experiment to determine how many bits of broadsheet newspaper were required to provide the same level of warmth as my beloved (non-ironic) wolf-print blanket. Concluded that a minimum of 36 sheets - the equivalent of about two copies of the "Weekend Australian", minus the supplements - were necessary. Furthermore, they needed to be tucked in tightly under the body. Which makes newspaper a piss-poor substitute for a blanket in practice. The tramp on his park bench is OK while he's lying perfectly still, but as soon as he rolls over, the "seal" is broken.

"Well, they said you was high class..."

2011-05-01T01:35:00.007+10:00

A lads' mag on which I formerly worked had a "Secret Diary Of A Call Girl"-type column penned by an Aussie escort. One of that gal's most interesting revelations was that so-called "high-class hookers" are often just the regular kind using different aliases and dressing/acting fancier. So much for notions of exclusivity, eh?

What would Billy Field say?

2011-05-01T01:11:00.003+10:00

Donated some unwanted clothing to Vinnies. Chucked in a book of "boy's own" stories. Gave it a fake dedication: "To Gareth, Happy birthday 2005. Sorry I broke your arm. Your friend, Oliver." Job done.

"Cardenio" recovered

2011-04-26T13:38:00.003+10:00

Watched an old episode of "LA Ink" that made me LOL hard. A dirty-haired emo kid got a leg tattoo from Corey of a frog riding a rearing horse, beneath the banner "Ahoy, Butternuts!" He expained it was to commemorate his childhood pet, a Clydesdale (Butternuts) that died of a heart attack - with a smile on its face - after eating pizza out of the trash. The frog supposedly stood for "The Muppet Show", which inspired him to sing. The fact that, under questioning from Pixie, he eventually admitted it was all a joke just made the tatt funnier. Corey gave the frog a holstered sixshooter and a bandolier of bullets.

That wasn't discussed

2011-04-24T23:41:00.002+10:00

But this will be: a Kiwi bloke named Indy Magnoli who's a master crafter of replicas. He mainly does items from the Indiana Jones franchise, but also gear found in "The Lord Of The Rings", "The X-Files", "Pirates Of The Caribbean", "The Goonies", etc. Mr M. seems to have a particular fondness for passports. He also gets a tad nutty in the "Christian relics" section, eg. listing details of the Spear Of Destiny as fact. Don't let that stop you zooming in on a few of his awesome works - http://bit.ly/QXUJQ As impressive as the recreated Ark from "Raiders" is, I think my favourite is the "Time Bandits" map. (Thanks to AM for the link.)

Whimsical blog entry is whimsical

2011-04-23T11:05:00.020+10:00

Yesterday, because it was Earth Day and unseasonably warm, and because I hadn't done so in Arcturan Mega-Donkeys' years, I decided to get out among the trees, birds and basking lizards by doing a circuit of Centennial Park. Thousands of others had the same idea. There were casual strollers like myself; dog walkers; joggers; proper runners; folk on all manner of bikes, scooters and pedal cars; horse and pony riders; pram pushers; and a lone rollerblader. On the grass, people kicked footies, flew kites, canoodled, played badminton, punched focus mitts held by their personal trainers, threw Frisbees that were rarely caught, took pampered pups to the mobile dog wash, and picnicked. So many picnics - Yogi Bear would've had a field day if he wasn't serving a life sentence on Rikers Island. The coolest thing I saw was a bunch of young fellas preparing for a NERF war (as opposed to a turf war). They were armed to the teeth with oversized, fluoro-coloured weaponry and extra foam ammo. I'm pretty sure one lad even had a sidearm strapped to his leg. It looked like mad fun waiting to happen. In my day, we made do with water pistols and water balloons. Since those don't present much of a physical threat, we'd hold our skirmishes on cold nights when you really didn't want to get soaked. Dressed in dark clothes - tip: a black T-shirt converts into an effective "ninja mask" - we'd hunt and hide across the suburb, paying little heed to fences or the privacy of neighbours, in "capture the flag" scenarios. You had to return to you base camp if you were shot or you wanted to stock up on the water bombs you'd spent the afternoon filling and placing gently in buckets. There was no way to avoid getting wet. If you weren't ambushed while "reloading" at an inviting tap, your crappy spare gun would spring a leak in your pocket. These battles were hilarious but also deadly serious... My bestie, BP, was worried he'd be an easy target 'cos his only sneakers were a pair of shiny white Reeboks. His solution: rubbing them all over with charcoal.

Second verse

2011-04-22T10:17:00.007+10:00

"Want You Gone", the end credits song from "Portal 2", is just similar/different enough to part one's amazingly amazing "Still Alive". Nice work, JoCo! Now, can we have a live version with Felicia Day on vocals, please? :-)