Dad always said, “You’re only here for a look around.” In
his 80 years, he had a good look around. As a young man, he worked and
travelled all over Australia, in Papua New Guinea, parts of Asia and even
briefly made it to the Middle East when he and Uncle --- ran away to sea as
adventurous teenagers. (I think my Uncle ---, who was even younger, still
wishes he’d gone, too.)
When Dad married Mum, he settled down and became a homebody
and a provider. Raising four children, and putting them through Catholic school
and university, he did countless hours of overtime at the coal loader, where he
had some great mates. In hindsight, he worked too hard and denied himself too
much. But the once-wild youth had become a sensible man and rarely wavered.
Besides Mum, Dad’s favourite thing in the world was golf.
As a kid, I remember him either winning or coming close in many comps. Later in
life, during his long, LONG battle with the cancers that would eventually claim
him, he no longer had the stamina to play a full round. However, he made up for
it by reading every golf manual and watching every televised tournament under
the sun.
Another thing Dad genuinely enjoyed was driving. He’d joke
that he was our family taxi, and he was happy to transport anyone anywhere. He
must have done a million drives to ballet schools, train stations and other
local landmarks. Even on his bad days, health-wise, he’d say to Mum, completely
serious, “Do you want to go for a run to ---?” Or, “We should take a trip
up the Valley.”
The son of a chef, Dad loved healthy food, which surely
helped him make it to 80 despite serious illnesses and their harsh medical
treatments. He couldn’t get enough vegetables and fruit, and regularly extolled
the virtues of “meat and three veg”. He liked strong tastes such as hot chilli
and hot mustard, smoked fish and liquorice. He liked expensive stout beer and
cheap red wine.
Dad enjoyed pottering in the garden right up until mere
weeks before his passing, and was good at “bushman’s repairs” like turning a
tree branch into a new handle for a broken shovel. In a different universe, he
was a fine greenkeeper at a golf club. We teased him about having undiagnosed
OCD, but that annoying perfectionism would have resulted in a flawlessly
manicured 18 holes.
Remember Dad when you play or spectate on golf. Remember
him when you go for a nice drive in the country. Remember him when you eat a
hearty home-cooked meal – especially one paired with a shiraz. Remember him
when you’re spending quiet time in the garden. Remember him when you put your
feet up to read a thick paperback adventure novel or thriller (he read
hundreds).
Remember Dad when you listen to Aussie country & western
music like Slim Dusty and Graeme Connors, or classic opera (Madame Butterfly
was his absolute favourite). Remember him when you watch modern action films,
especially the John Wick series. He’d often ask me of movies or TV
shows, “Have I seen this?” But with the John Wick flicks, he could quote
you the dialogue.
You can even remember Dad when you’re on YouTube on your
computer. He could – and did – happily spend hours watching wristwatches
repaired, leather shoes handmade, cars restored or anything super skilful like
that. It was the same for Foxtel coverage of horse racing, pub games like poker,
snooker and darts, and boxing matches (he was a huge fan of Mexican boxer
Canelo Alvarez).
One of my buddies used to find it amusing when he came over
and saw Dad watching TV, listening to the radio and reading the paper at the
same time. The fact is, he was highly self-educated about politics, economics
and world affairs. It was one of many things people wouldn’t guess about a man
who enjoyed nothing more than being at home and talking to Mum.
Of course, we all wish he was doing that now. Dad’s death
has left a huge hole in our lives. However, there’ll always be pleasant
reminders of him, some of which I’ve listed. And you have your own memories to
cherish. Those wishing to raise a glass, and perhaps share a story, please join
us at the --- Golf Club for snacks’n’drinks at 11.30am. It’s what he would
have wanted.
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