Libation

As I've just discovered, the risk with opening whisky that's been shelfbound for dusty ages is that the cork may have perished, causing the top half and its fancy plastic crown to break off in your grasp... and leaving the bottom wedged firmly in the neck of the bottle. Then, unless you're willing to employ the port tongs or cavalry sabre methods, you must screw out the remainder of the crumbling phellem with the kind of precision rarely seen outside the combined "Operation"/"Jenga" world championships. Otherwise, there's a danger of imbuing your spirit with woody notes of an unwanted variety. (Yes, these fragments can be removed via filtering, but what a hassle and grog will inevitably be wasted). Job done and brow mopped, simply replug the jug or transfer its contents to a decorative crystal decanter. Except you're fresh out of 1950s glassware, and neither of the plastic stoppers in the useful drawer fits snugly - probably because they are cheap rubbish, you tightwad. Your best defence against evaporation now seems to be creating a temporary seal using one of the unsatisfactory stoppers and some waterproof tape, then buying a bag of assorted corks on the morrow and hoping the angels don't imbibe more than their fair share.