Dork Geek Nerd

"Rational romantic mystic cynical idealist"

Saturday, November 28, 2020

Optional rules for backyard cricket

Use or ignore based on the number of players and their ages/abilities.

Automatic Wicky: If a nick from the batsman carries to a designated area directly behind the stumps, e.g. a garage door, they are considered to have been caught behind.

Can't Get Out First Ball: Self-explanatory.

Can't Go From Batting To Bowling: Ditto. (This one's for bigger groups, where you don't want dominant types hogging the fun positions.) 

Electric Wickets: Usually employed when there is a lone batsman, and especially when there aren't two proper sets of stumps. They can be run out at either end, regardless of which they're heading for.

"Interference!": An appeal against your dismissal on the grounds that you were hip-checked by a fielder or whatever.

"Lost Ball!": If the tenno's disappeared into a cactus and the batsmen have already run eight, it's reasonable to give this cry and halt play.

No LBW: Self-explanatory. (Often used in the absence of an umpire.)

One Hand On The Bounce: Makes catching easier for younger/less skilled cricketers. Variations include One Hand Off The Roof.

Six And Out: Rule designed to deter older brothers repeatedly slogging shots over logical boundaries into unfriendly neighbours' yards, onto a busy road or into dense bushland.

Tippy-Go-Run: If the ball touches your bat, you MUST run at least a single.

Friday, November 27, 2020

Diary excerpt from my days in Rotorua, NZ

“The Wai-O-Tapu Thermal Wonderland is an 18km2 reserve covered in craters, caves, pools, geysers and other formations. There are three hiking trails, colour-coded red, orange and yellow in order of difficulty. The guide tells us we have time for the first, plus the second if we hurry. I set off at a brisk pace and soon find myself passing such natural wonders as the Devil’s Ink Pots. Standing alone on a bridge over a sulphurous pond, surrounded by smoke, is an unforgettable experience. I proceed from the red trail onto the orange, then contemplate starting the yellow until a sign warns me it takes 75 minutes. Reluctantly return to the carpark. Non-one else has bothered with the second trail and they are all waiting for me.”

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Nothing awful, don't worry

This is what I remember about being an altar boy. Whoever arrived first got the best robe, with the best sash. When the priest wasn't looking, we'd twirl the cross like a kung-fu staff. During mass, we'd ring the bell as long/loudly as we could get away with, perhaps hoping to make each other giggle. Most actions would also be deliberately exaggerated. Dousing candles, we'd "accidentally" spill hot wax onto our hands so we could peel it off. (The guy who taught me that is now a respected chef.) Afterwards, we'd gossip about what we'd observed among the congregation from our perch. It wasn't really about religious devotion, was it?

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Pilgrim's progress

On the latest "Axe Of The Blood God" podcast, they mentioned that this year is (kinda) the 10th anniversary of lovestruck and suprisingly ass-kicking slacker muso Scott Pilgrim. In 2010, the sixth and final volume of the "Scott Pilgrim" comic was published AND the "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World" movie adaptation was released in cinemas. I used to own the graphic novels. Must have gifted or loaned them to someone. Had the Blu-ray, too. It's possible that went to charity in my somewhat rushed relocation from Sydney. The only SP merch I have left is the Knives Chau Pop! Vinyl. Are rebuys allowed?

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Troll master

Champion Danish artist Thomas Dambo builds stuff out of scrap wood. Specifically, he builds giant trolls. He and his crew have constructed them in various parts of the world and recently "hid" 10 newies around Denmark for peeps to find and enjoy.

TD's website is here - https://thomasdambo.com/

Hopefully he would be all right with me borrowing this image (of a car-crushing troll in Puerto Rico) as an example. There's a huge amount of creativity in the positioning of each wooden wonder, so you oughta take a look at the above site.

Monday, November 23, 2020

10 things you can do with a desk fan

1. Keep cool while writing/typing.

2. Imitate a Dalek voice.

3. Pose for a photo with a cinematic wind in your hair.

4. Dry glue, paint or even a piece of clothing.

5. Propel a Matchbox car that has a sail made from a pencil and note paper.

6. Stop your dodgy old computer/console from overheating.

7. Raise the difficulty of tossing crumpled paper into your office bin.

8. Divert cigarette smoke out a window.

9. Get to sleep on a muggy night.

10. Show your love for Kirby!

Sunday, November 22, 2020

Diary entry from my day on Norfolk Island

"My three-hour nature walk was cancelled as none of the 2000-odd other cruisers signed up! Lazy sods. Instead of booking an alternative excursion, I opted to do my own thang. Wandered the shopping precinct, sent a postcard to RS, ate a packet of trail mix and bought an air freshener for the cabin. Didn't pay $30 to enter tourist attraction King Tut's Tomb. Maybe I should have. The line for the shuttle bus to the jetty was so long that locals were helping ferry folks in their cars. I scored a lift with - judging by her striking looks - a Tahitian princess. Asked her about sport on N/I. Despite the small population, the high level of participation means they can still stage multi-team competitions."