The first time I heard a ukulele

The first time I heard a ukulele had nothing to do with my friend CM, who plays the instrument professionally, sells it, teaches it and publishes a magazine devoted to it.

I was about nine or 10 and we were visiting relos. Prompted by my aunt, my cousin whipped out a uke and delivered a wild rendition of The Beatles' "A Hard Days Night".

It felt like an ambush.

Was I supposed to have prepared a cabaret act for the occasion? If so, no-one had warned me. And how could I follow such an entertaining performance, anyway?

Making it worse, my cuz was a year younger.

"What can I do?" I asked (and by "asked", I mean whined). It was suggested I write a story to read out, since creative writing was consistently my top subject at school.

I set to work with pencil and paper, determined to produce a thrilling outer-space adventure. Alas, I was still scribbling away when I was informed we were leaving.

So that was that.

My cousin went on to become a very good clarinet player.

While I never did acquire a party trick.