Not yer typical work function

The editor MP and I attended the finale of the A Night Of Horror Film Festival at the Dendy Cinema, Newtown. Our community-minded periodical (joke) once again sponsored the Scream Queen award. The boss made a speech and last year's honey crowned this year's winning actress - Tess McVicker - with a wicked, silver-grey, bejewelled, beskulled tiara constructed by none other than AM. The after-party was in the Bank Hotel's Velvet Room, which was cordoned off with fake cobwebs. We hung with photographer DM, ex-ed MV, the organisers and a stunning model who was "buttering up" the editor (his words). Two Heinekens was enough for me as it was my third fact-finding mission to the pub for Friday. By the way, Shakespeare's Pies - our stepping stone between Dendy and Bank - has been rebranded and the product is inferior. Despite a dearth of filling, the pastry's so weak it collapses under its own weight mid-scoff. The pies were the only horrible thing on the night.