Australia 5 - England 4

That was the final score in the Hyundai car soccer after extra time. What am I talking about, Willis? "Top Gear" Live at the Acer Arena, starring Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond, with Steve Pizzati subbing for James May.

Without further ado, here's the complete list of SPOILERS (in roughly chronological order):

* A mini motor show outside the venue and in the foyer
* Theatrical adverts for various sponsors
* Pyrotechnics and great jets of flame
* Introduction featuring lots of rude, non-PC jokes, mostly at the absent JM's expense
* Precision driving/parking (Alfas)
* Competition to assemble and race tiny vehicles, eg. a go-kart suitcase
* Stunt cyclist repeatedly bunny-hopping a prone SP
* The Colander Of Death (four motorbikes defying gravity inside a spherical cage)
* Human tenpin (skittles, crash helmet, stearable shopping trolley...Ford)
* Duel: incredible kung-fu chick with staff vs Holden
* The Cool Wall as determined by audience vote
* Drum solo using junkyard kit allegedly built from autos wrecked by "Top Gear Oz"
* Soccer game
* Precision drifting (Ferraris)
* Computerised lap of "T/G" track - more crowd participation
* The Stig in a Lotus evading the fire from a 3D animation of a gunship (they gave us special glasses)

With the banter, explanations, vox pops and video clips, that was 90 minutes (not counting the ads) and thousands of happy - if slightly weirded out - revheads were on the road home.