Rocket surgery

It was a sunny Sunday morning, I was 10 or 11, and I was excited. Firstly, we were at Grandma's house, which was always a special occasion. Secondly, my favourite cousins were due to join us after church (our family had been the night before). Thirdly, and most excitingly of all, I'd heard that T. and G. would be bringing their new missiles. I didn't know if that meant working rockets or just scale models, but in either case, I couldn't wait to see them. When my cousins arrived, I scanned their hands for cylindrical warheads...and saw none. As they said their hellos, I was nearly bursting with anticipation. Unable to stay silent any longer, I blurted out, "I heard you have missiles." They replied that they did and asked if I wanted to see them. Of course I did, but where were these rockets they were so lucky to possess, and that I wouldn't have let go of for a second? "They're out in the car. Come and have a look." If you were raised Catholic, you'll have guessed the twist in this tale. The "missiles" I’d been so excited about weren't flying machines but religious books – Sunday missals. Leatherbound volumes containing readings and responses for each year's masses. Though I was crushed to atoms, there was nothing to do but reassemble myself and pretend to admire the not-missiles with their colour-coded text and placeholder ribbons. There were no glorious launches into space that day, real or imagined. And any fun I had was tinged with disappointment born of an ignorant misunderstanding I was too embarrassed to admit. The funny thing about it is, I ended up begging Mum for a missal of my own, which I acquired a month or so later. Like I said, T. and G. were my fave cousins. And I was a suggestible little tyke.


Listening: "Doctor Who: Hornets' Nest - The Circus Of Doom" (2009) by Paul Magrs, "Purple Rain" (1984) by Prince And The Revolution.
Reading: "An Idiot Abroad - The Travel Diaries Of Karl Pilkington" (2010), "Retro Gamer #84".
Watching: "You're Stealing It Wrong: 30 Years Of Inter-Pirate Battles" - ta for the heads-up, PG.