Don't

I was in a Newcastle club, in my twenties. I decided I was going to lift my lifelong alcohol ban. “Don't do it,” said a pal. I ignored his advice. Although...my drink of choice for a while – don't ask me why – was Foster's Lite Ice, which you'll agree barely qualifies as booze.

I was working as a tech writer at an ISP. There was a young fella there who lived on Red Bull and Coke and could get fired up about things. Anyhoo, he was ranting and I made a comment designed to provoke him further. He didn't hear, but a colleague did. “Don't,” she said softly. I realised I was being a prick and kept my mouth shut. It's thanks to the aforementioned young fella that I know the NATO phonetic alphabet, as he loved reciting it.

I was scabbing a lift home from a gaming night. The driver, a “World Of Warcraft” devotee, was detailing the game's features and his own achievements after countless hours inside "W/O/W". I told him I'd tried and failed to get it running on my then-dodgy PC. I told him I was interested in giving it another crack. He continued his spiel for a bit, then went quiet. “Don't ever play it,” he said. And I never have.