NSFJ

After the thee-ah-tah on Saturday, I decided that as I was reasonably well dressed - good shoes, good jeans, new shirt, sportscoat - I'd eat somewhere fancy. My editor had mentioned French/British restaurant Balzac during the week, and since friends and family members had been recommending it forever, I made up my mind to go there. Phoned 'em on the way and was sitting at an upstairs table 20 minutes later. The interior was an elegant arrangement of white, cream, browns, grey and black. Columns, drop lights, minimal plants, with thick sandstone blocks and wooden shutters keeping out the sights'n'sounds of the main street. If 13 years of private education gave me anything, it was a sense of entitlement, so after a perfunctory glance at the menu, I plumped for the nine-course degustation with matching wines. Ahem...

1. Salt cod croquette with sauce tartare
NOTES: Underwhelming. My mother makes far superior croquettes.

2. Fennel veloute with spanner crab and spanish onion vinaigrette
NOTES: More like what I was expecting, ie. it reminded me of a dish from Tetsuya's.

3. Hot smoked bonito rillette with pickled cucumber, shaved fennel and king crab
+ 2009 Atlas "172^" Riesling (Clare Valley, SA)
NOTES: The first properly interesting taste and a decent combo with the wine.

4. Roast skate with saffron noodles, calamari, clams, mussels and fennel
+ 2005 Domaine Barmes-Buecher Pinot Gris Traditional (Alsace, France)
NOTES: Impossibly delicate pasta, couldn't criticise the ray or other seafood. Complex!

5. Cream of Jerusalem artichokes with schnitzel of lamb shoulder and belly, barley and manchego
+ 2008 Nebbiolo D'Alba, Brezza "Santa Rosalia" (Piedmont, Italy)
NOTES: Another wonderful creation that was so creamy, so savoury and so moreish.

6. Daube of beef cheek with onions, sprouts and horseradish
+ 2009 Vdp Yves Cuilleron Syrah (France)
NOTES: Slow-cooked in stock for 5-6 hours, the meat was as tender as it was flavoursome.

Forewent the post-mains cheese platter. I knew I'd probably have sufficient real estate - despite preceding this lot with a large buttered roll and a Cascade Light - but I thought I might save that pleasure for a return visit in the company of a fellow epicure/garbage guts.

7. Chilli roast pineapple with coconut
NOTES: No wine with this "pre-dessert". Candied pineapple in a yummy coconut foam.

8. Quince tart with cinnamon ice-cream
+ NV Barbadillo Pedro Ximenez (Jerez, Spain)
NOTES: May be forgetting an ingredient here. OK tart, top-notch ice-cream, but just give me the sherry in future.

9. Selection of petits fours
+ Green tea (my choice)
NOTES: A coffee truffle, white chocolate'n'macadamia nut cookie and strawberry jelly cube, charmingly served on a bed of chocolate pastry crumbs inside a decorative curl of bark.

In conclusion, considering Balzac is in my own backyard, apparently easy to book, with service to rival that of pricier establishments (believing they'd undercharged me, I queried the total), it may become my new place to drag out-of-towners. Lest I lie by omission, I will admit it was tough not to grow bored alone throughout what ended up being a three-hour meal, but that was hardly the fault of my hosts. Next time I'll bring a guest - and we'll have the cheese!