Christmas in November

I'm as seedy as a cheap mandarine after yesterday's rock-themed ACP Chrissie party, held in the sandstone splendour of those Argyle buildings in The Rocks. I wore black shoes, blue jeans, an unbuttoned black shirt and a navy T-shirt depicting a volume dial on "11" – which is about how many tall glasses of German Paulaner beer I swilled. Like Corey Hart, I kept my sunglasses on at night, and I was sporting a sizable fake tatt on my weedy forearm: a 1955 design of a dagger through a skull, with the motto "Death before dishonour". It's handy having a pal (AM, bruv of CM) who's a make-up/SFX artist by trade. While a fair few employees went in costume, special mention must go to SC, whose white TISM outfit was an iceberg of creativity in a sea of traditional rockers such as Axl, Elvis, Kurt and Jimi. The Amy Winehouse impersonator was beaut, too – she even affected a passable Pom accent.