Dork Geek Nerd

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Monday, March 28, 2011

Suspect profile

"As far as we know, Paul Varelans is the only professional mixed martial artist to represent the art of trap fighting – whatever that is. Varelans fought 18 pro bouts over the course of his career, so we had plenty of opportunities to figure it out, but it was never clear what exactly was supposed to be trapped. As best as anybody could tell, trap fighting involved being absolutely enormous, and getting pasted by any and every name fighter you come up against. Varelans' size and ability to take a beating were his calling cards, and while that didn't exactly translate into MMA success, it did earn him a relatively high-profile shoot-style professional wrestling bout against Peter 'Taz' Senerchia, who worked a pseudo-MMA gimmick. According to the incredibly lurid biography of wrestling personality Missy Hyatt, Varelans was induced to lose the bout when Hyatt promised him a blow job. Afterward, in an impressive bit of wordplay, she then informed him that she didn't blow *jobbers*... Varelans then apparently went berserk and trap fought the backstage area into complete disarray."

Jonathan Snowden and Kendall Shields make sport of PV in "The MMA Encyclopedia" (2010). While their write-up is cruelly funny, the bloke was actually something of a pioneer, fighting way back in 1995-98 and winning as often as he lost.

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