"You know me well / But I don't know you at all"

[EARLY EDITION]

The perfect videogame

* Is played entirely offline, favouring AI and imagination over unnecessary complexity and oh-so-many assclowns
* Will NEVER have DLC - it is a complete product
* Nor does it try to blackmail customers into chain-store pre-orders by offering exclusive content. Whenever or wherever you purchase it, you will have unfettered access to 100% of the features
* There is no special edition of the perfect videogame available. It can stand on its own merits without an oversized package of "collectible" tat
* It is neither sequel nor tie-in nor first-person shooter but rather a wholly original concept
* The "team" behind it was as small as possible, preferably a lone individual with a vision unsullied by committee or focus group
* Is immersive, intuitive, balanced, replayable and FUN
* Borders on art

Seven gets brushed (and comes across as a tad creepy)

Jevvan: "How did you get here?"
The Doctor: "It flies, too, you see. Short jumps. Long jumps. You'll see on the way home. Any other luggage?"
"Home?"
"Isn't that where you're going?"
"Yeah, but..."
"Well, I'll have you back in time for your birthday!"
"It doesn't take a year to get to Earth."
"The birthday you just missed. Home in a twinkling - before a twinkling can even start."
"No!"
"What?"
"Not like that. Don't just assume."
"Scenic destinations? Wine-dark skies, forests of smoke..."
"Bet you say that to everyone."
"I try to vary it."
"No, sorry. I want to see the bits in between, out the window. No point in travelling if I don't see where I'm going."
"Ahhh."
"So thanks, Doctor, but no thanks."
- from the Big Finish Productions audiobook "Doctor Who: Valhalla" (2007) by Marc Platt.

Women's World Cup wackiness

"While the Matildas can feel satisfied with a quarter-final exit, they did not peddle an excuse quite as spectacular as that of the North Korea coach Kim Kwang Min in the wake of their opening-game defeat to the USA. He claimed his players were still feeling the effects of being struck by lightning at a pre-tournament training camp! 'Five of the players were hit by lightning and were in hospital,' said Kim. 'The fact that they played in this match is abnormal. It is a result of their very powerful and strong will.' However, FIFA media officer Julie Brown said, 'It was news to us all'"
- "Australian FourFourTwo" magazine, September 2011.

Yeah-nah

Doritos Burn? Yes, they do. Here's why - paprika, chilli cayenne pepper, green bell pepper, vinegar powder, onion powder, garlic powder. Unfortunately, it's not a "flavour" (tingling tongue, back-of-throat heat, minimum taste) I can recommend.

Useless movie reviews (August, part une)

"The Expendables - Inferno Edition": Terrific, but where were Bolo Yeung, Jeff Speakman, Olivier Gruner, Michael Dudikoff, Sho Kosugi...?
"Tron: Legacy": Stand back while I kill it with a rock.
Liverpool Vs. Leeds United 1965 FA Cup Final: 2-1.
"The Firm": 2009 reworking of the 1989 film about football hooliganism.

Who's your fave porn actress named after a "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" character? Mine's April O'Neil :-) (Apologies to Nancy Shredder and Veronica Krang.)

Old mate

PG crashed at mine on Friday before flying to England early the following morning. We talked nonstop, ate pizza from The Jilted Anchovy and thrilled to *extremely* close wins by the Storm and Rabbitohs, both of which won me money (from Sportingbet, not PG). He's gonna try to get to a Super League fixture while in the Motherland - lucky beggar!