"NO JUNK MAIL"

Is what it now says on my letterbox.

I had to do something - the unsolicited mail was multiplying like apprentice Mickey's broomsticks. Every time I unlocked and lifted the flap, I'd reveal 1-2 supermarket catalogues, 2-3 restaurant menus, and 3-4 flyers from folks eager to discount my pizza, iron my clothes, value my property (pity it's a rental), expedite my tax refund, instruct me in aikido (and be like Steven Seagal?), bathe my non-existent dog, invite me to their club to see a world-renowned Elvis impersonator... I was paranoid that one night I'd sacrifice a pile of it at the temple of recycling and inadvertently miss an important missive.

The plastic sign I paid a few coins for at the hardware store (to a gent in a bowler hat!) could either be screwed to the letterbox through a loop on the top or stuck in place with adhesive strips on the back. As my 'box is metal, I went with the second option. Worried the "empty" loop would look stupid, I tried to saw it off with an Exacto knife only to a) almost nick a finger, then b) send the blade tip flying (let's hope the hoover locates it before my sockless foot does). Resigned to postal shame, I made a half-hearted attempt to snap off the unwanted piece by hand. It came away as neat as you like.