Dork Geek Nerd

"Rational romantic mystic cynical idealist"

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Last five movies watched

Pick of the bunch: "Jurassic World". While I wouldn't wanna defend the plot in court (there are 180s and aspects that go nowhere), it manages to outdo "Jurassic Park 1-3" where it counts - in the dino department. My expectations of this fillum were low, but viewed on Blu-ray in the comfort of a darkened lounge room, it was an enjoyable escape from the mundane on a Saturday afternoon.




Saturday, November 28, 2015

Don't

I was in a Newcastle club, in my twenties. I decided I was going to lift my lifelong alcohol ban. “Don't do it,” said a pal. I ignored his advice. Although...my drink of choice for a while – don't ask me why – was Foster's Lite Ice, which you'll agree barely qualifies as booze.

I was working as a tech writer at an ISP. There was a young fella there who lived on Red Bull and Coke and could get fired up about things. Anyhoo, he was ranting and I made a comment designed to provoke him further. He didn't hear, but a colleague did. “Don't,” she said softly. I realised I was being a prick and kept my mouth shut. It's thanks to the aforementioned young fella that I know the NATO phonetic alphabet, as he loved reciting it.

I was scabbing a lift home from a gaming night. The driver, a “World Of Warcraft” devotee, was detailing the game's features and his own achievements after countless hours inside "W/O/W". I told him I'd tried and failed to get it running on my then-dodgy PC. I told him I was interested in giving it another crack. He continued his spiel for a bit, then went quiet. “Don't ever play it,” he said. And I never have.

Saturday, November 21, 2015

Last five movies watched

Pick of the bunch: Wes Anderson's "The Grand Budapest Hotel" is a mad delight. A twisted interwar fairytale brimming with the unexpected, the amusing, the picturesque and the famous.


Thursday, November 19, 2015

Neil Gaiman interview

This was a freelance job for "Australian Penthouse" in 2013. I figure it's OK to share the text now on a non-profit basis. Haven't altered or updated anything.

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THE NEIL DEAL

British-born, American-based writer Neil Gaiman has a shelf full of novels, comics, kids’ books and screenplays to his name – each one unique, and each with fans and awards from around the world. The Sandman, Neverwhere, Stardust, American Gods, Coraline, Anansi Boys, The Graveyard Book, The Ocean at the End of the Lane, episodes of the new Doctor Who…even that impressive line-up is selling him short. We were lucky enough to speak to the former men’s mag journo recently about all things writing-related.


In The Ocean at the End of the Lane, the narrator says, “I liked myths. They weren’t adult stories and they weren’t children’s stories. They were better than that. They just were.” It’s a description that could be applied to your own work. Is it your goal to create myths, and what makes a good one?

It’s definitely not something I actively pursue. I don’t ever think about making a contemporary myth from scratch. The occasional times you do it, I think you do it almost without trying. A good myth… For me, it’s something that has somehow survived, in an almost Darwinian sense, for many hundreds of years, probably thousands, and carries with it a peculiar burden in that you know it was probably once something else. It may have been sacred, it may have been mad, it may have been a story put together to warn other people or to explain a way of behaving. But whatever it was, it was big and important, and what’s come down to us is whatever’s left of that.

Given the importance of these core truths, have you ever finished a manuscript, moved on to something else and then suddenly realised, “That’s not how it would have ended”?

Mostly on issues of The Sandman and mostly when I was up against crazy, crazy deadlines. I remember wrapping up one issue before I went to a convention and not liking or trusting the last few pages. I got back, phoned artist Matt Wagner and said, “Have you actually drawn anything for those pages?” He said no, so I said, “Right, I’m rewriting them completely.” Even though you are always, very literally, making it up as you go along, you never want things to feel carved from rock. You always want it to feel organic.

Are you fussy about your writing environment?

The main thing I like to do is either not write on a computer, because of [the distraction of] the internet, or if I’m forced to do so, to use a program called Freedom and turn the net off for one, two, three hours at a time. Beyond that, I’m not fussy and I can work pretty much anywhere. I’m quite good at writing with ridiculous, noisy, people things going on in the background – I just sort of tune out. It goes back to when I was a journalist. You’re not allowed to have the editor say, “I want that copy on my desk at three,” then turn around and go, “Oh, I just wasn’t inspired,” or, “The tea was the wrong kind of tea.” You do it somehow, even if you think you can’t.

Any examples spring to mind?

I got a phone call once from Punch magazine, which I wrote for briefly in the mid-’80s, and the editor – a nice man named Ian Irvine – said, “Neil, just calling to remind you that your book review is due tomorrow.” And I said, “No, Ian, it’s due on Tuesday.” “That’s right,” he said. “It’s Monday today.” I’m like, “Oh, fuck.” I’d flicked through the book 3-4 weeks earlier and knew it had a distinctive cover, but I couldn’t see it anywhere. I said, “Ian, just out of interest, if I don’t manage to do the review, what happens?” He said, “Well, then we’d have a blank page. So probably what I’d do is print your photo – rather small – with your name, address and phone number, and let anyone concerned about the blank page know who to contact.” I stayed up all night writing an article on what you do when you can’t find the book you’re meant to review, and it was quite a funny piece. But it was definitely a case of “failure is not an option”. People ask me now, “How did you cope with the fear of rejection?” Fear of rejection is a strange and intangible thing; fear of not eating was very tangible. If I didn’t write, I didn’t eat. It was my sole source of income.

Are you a fully-formed-idea-while-out-walking-the-dogs guy or a sweat-and-blood-and-midnight-oil-stained-multiple-drafts guy?

I tend to be more of a know-enough-about-what-I’m-doing-to-start-writing-and-I’ll-figure-out-the-rest-as-I-go-along guy. My editors always talk about how clean and pretty much final the drafts they get from me are, and those are usually just tidied-up versions of my first drafts. I think that has to do with the years I spent writing comics, because you couldn’t fuck around. The January issue is on sale, the comic that’s coming out in February is going through production, the comic that’s coming out in March is being drawn, and you’re writing the comic that’s coming out in April. If you got something wrong in the January issue, it’s too late to change it. Having done The Sandman, I read Dickens novels with a weird shock of recognition. It’s like, “Oh, I know how you’re doing this… Here’s a character that you have a plan for three-quarters of the way through the story, and here’s a character you’re just bringing on as wallpaper. Here’s a ball you’re tossing in the air confident you can catch it, and here’s a ball you’re tossing in the air in the hope you’ll be able to catch it later on.”

Leaving aside Mr Nancy’s presence in both American Gods and Anansi Boys, you’re not a sequels author. Is this more of a personal decision or a matter of circumstance?

It’s definitely circumstance – I have absolutely nothing against sequels. It’s like… On one hand, there’s something I already know how to do, that people are waiting for more of, and for which my publisher would pay a ridiculous amount of money. But on the other, there’s something I have no idea how to do, that no-one’s waiting for, and that no-one’s interested in. I tend to hare off after the second option – in an “Ooh, shiny!” way – because I’m much more interested in things that I don’t know how to do. And I say that even though there’s not a book I’ve written, except maybe Coraline and maybe The Ocean at the End of the Lane, where I didn’t have some idea what happened next.

What’s your take on other famous writers using pseudonyms to escape their reputations and/or dabble in different genres?

When I was a young journalist, I’d talk to lots of nice writers, and some of the best-selling ones would be grumpy because they’d have a book they couldn’t get published. A fantasy author would tell me about his hard science-fiction novel no-one wanted. Or a detective-thriller guy would tell me about this book he’d written about two paddle steamers in a giant race in the 1800s. It was interesting that people I thought of as really successful were trapped, and I just thought, “I’m not gonna do that.” So I’ve been almost obsessive about making sure each thing I do is different. If I turned to my publisher and said, “The next Neil Gaiman book is going to be a pornographic cookbook,” they’d go, “Yeah, all right, Neil. Cool.” I don’t need to use a pseudonym – although, having said that, from the ages of about 22-27, it was Pseudonym City. I was amazingly prolific back then and magazines buying two or three articles from me in a month didn’t want people to know the same person had written all that stuff – and possibly done the book or film reviews as well. Then there was the problem where I might be reviewing the same thing for rival publications. One of the last Future Shocks stories I wrote for 2000AD was about a man who gets his pseudonyms surgically removed...

You’re doing an increasing number of live readings these days. Is your motivation to revive a dying art?

It’s a little bit reviving a dying art, just because you look at all the writers who used to do it, and you go, “Why don’t people do that anymore?” Dickens went on rock star-like tours, where he’d read to audiences every night – that genuinely fascinates me. But I think it’s more a case of “because I can”. Most authors don’t get a phone call asking them, “Have you got a story you’d like to read on stage at the Sydney Opera House? We’ll give you a string quartet and Eddie Campbell doing illustrations.” So you say yes, the tickets go on sale, they sell out, then you do it, people love it and you get a standing ovation. That sort of opportunity doesn’t come along very often and it might never come along again. I used to be terrified [of doing live readings]… It’s not like stage fright ever goes away, but the number needed to induce stage fright goes up. You’re comfortable talking to 10 people, but not 50. Then you’re comfortable with 50, but 300 is scary. Then you’re fine with 300, but 1000 is nerve-racking. Then one day you’re in a shed in Tasmania that holds 5000 people and it’s all good.

How has being married to an international music star – Amanda Palmer – changed the way you think about performing?

The biggest difference is that before you wouldn’t have got me to sing on stage for any amount of money or even at gunpoint. Then, suddenly, I’m living life with Amanda and I’m singing in front of an audience because she thinks it would be ridiculous of me not to. So I just think, “OK, I’ll go with this – it’s brilliant and it’s weird and it’s no longer scary.” Also, I can ask her, “How do you do that?” And I can watch her doing stuff. By the same token, she’s cured any lingering desire I might have had of being a rock singer. I had my little punk group when I was 15 or 16, and I dreamt of famous musician-ness. When you’re in the crowd, you’re like, “Oh, my God, these shows are awesome. Backstage, it must be hot and cold running women, and glamour and magic.” But now I know that, actually, everybody got changed in something that resembled an icebox, shivering and purple in a horrible, sad place with penises drawn on the wall by previous bands. And that the glamorous rock-star life is more about long journeys in vans and buses.

OK, just pretend there’s someone reading this interview who is shamefully unfamiliar with your writing – where should they start?

Well, it depends… If they’ve only ever read Penthouse, they should go to a bookshop, get a collection called Smoke and Mirrors and find a story called “Looking for the Girl”. It was a commission for the 20th anniversary of the UK magazine and one of the first pieces of fiction I sold. It gives you a potted history of the first 20 years of naked ladies in Penthouse, along with a commentary on observation, pornography, power and dreams. Excluding that… If they like a detective plot with some oddness, then American Gods is big and thick and very, very, weird. If they’re after something more delicate, but perhaps more disturbing, The Ocean at the End of the Lane. And if they want something that’s just a glorious adventure – a Narnia on the Northern Line – try Neverwhere.


You can keep up with Neil’s imaginary worlds and real-life travels via his blog (journal.neilgaiman.com) and Twitter feed (@neilhimself). And if you’re a parent in search of a Christmas present for a younger reader, check out his bizarrely brilliant new picture book illustrated by Chris Riddell, Fortunately, The Milk…

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Last five movies watched

Pick of the bunch: I was entranced by "The Age Of Adaline" and bewitched by its heroine. Less for the concept of a centenarian's mind in a 25-year-old woman's body than for the fact actress Blake Lively appeared, at least initially, to be channelling the sassy sophistication of the screen sirens of yore.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Fair ladies and unfair comparisons

Just a quick note to record that, despite its smaller size, I preferred "The Greats: Masterpieces From The National Galleries Of Scotland" at the AGNSW to the NGV's Hermitage exhibition. Seen in person at 1 x 1.25m, John Singer Sargent's "Lady Agnew Of Lochnaw" (1892-93) - http://www.jssgallery.org/paintings/lady_agnew.htm - is breathtaking. Of course, it helped my mood that I walked there in light rain, with an umbrella in my hand and vegie burgers in my belly.

Friday, November 06, 2015

Last five movies watched

Can't locate posters/DVD slicks for Beeb espionage yarn "Legacy" or insightful Rubik's Cube doco "20 Moves", so I've used the cover of the book on which the former is based and an ad for Cube Lube.

Pick of the bunch: "Hidden", about a family confined to a fallout shelter for 300+ days by a gradually revealed menace, is smart, original horror that rarely missteps. (Only once, IMHO.)

Thursday, November 05, 2015

The first time I heard a ukulele

The first time I heard a ukulele had nothing to do with my friend CM, who plays the instrument professionally, sells it, teaches it and publishes a magazine devoted to it.

I was about nine or 10 and we were visiting relos. Prompted by my aunt, my cousin whipped out a uke and delivered a wild rendition of The Beatles' "A Hard Days Night".

It felt like an ambush.

Was I supposed to have prepared a cabaret act for the occasion? If so, no-one had warned me. And how could I follow such an entertaining performance, anyway?

Making it worse, my cuz was a year younger.

"What can I do?" I asked (and by "asked", I mean whined). It was suggested I write a story to read out, since creative writing was consistently my top subject at school.

I set to work with pencil and paper, determined to produce a thrilling outer-space adventure. Alas, I was still scribbling away when I was informed we were leaving.

So that was that.

My cousin went on to become a very good clarinet player.

While I never did acquire a party trick.

Sunday, November 01, 2015

DIDN'T YOU GO ON A TRIP SOMEWHERE RECENTLY, ADDSTER?

I did, yeah. To Wagga Wagga, then Melbourne, then back to W/W. With four lengthy train rides in between.


LET'S START WITH THOSE. HOW DID YOU STAND 23 HOURS ON THE FRICKIN' XPT?

I read a "Rugby League Week", a "FilmInk", a modern "Doctor Who" novel and a literary spy thriller, but mostly I played "Puzzles & Dragons Z" on the Nintendo 3DS XL, which I'd saved for the purpose. It returned the favour by saving me from boredom. I didn't ignore the scenery completely... A note on my phone says, "Watched lush farmland growing lusher in the rain."


WHAT DID YOU GET UP TO IN WAGGA WAGGA?

A lot of eating and drinking - dynamite bruschetta, lamb cutlets, sticky date pudding, red wine, Cheesymite scrolls, beer cold enough to give you an "ice-cream headache", steak with garlic mushrooms, various fries and salads, a beaut chicken/bacon/avocado/onion burger, more beer, unfamiliar flavoured milk.

IS THAT SERIOUSLY ALL - JUST FEEDING YOUR FACE AND WETTING YOUR WHISTLE?

Far from it. I visited the Museum Of The Riverina, where I was reminded of this fascinating historical case with a W/W connection (don't skip the "Appraisal" section) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tichborne_case
And the Forum 6 Cinemas. And the Thirsty Crow Brewery, named in honour of the city's official bird. And a park filled with roses, ducks and war memorials that included an eternal flame. And a crazy-busy-for-a-Monday-morning library, where I read a "New Scientist". And a glass gallery housing the impressive national collection. And a "regular" art gallery, where I was treated to three fine exhibitions: the photos of a CSU graduating class, a retrospective on Aussie innovator George Baldessin (phone note: "Contorted nudes, distorted chairs, pears, stairs and wiry hairs!"), and an audio-visual presentation entitled "Nothing Is Useless". Imagine a soundtrack of bleep-bloop tape loops as you click on the following images.


WHAT ABOUT MELBOURNE? YOU WENT THERE FOR THE SPEEDWAY GP, RIGHT?

Right. It was awesome...up until the final, when there was an awful crash. Fortunately, Jason Doyle is on the mend. American Greg Hancock - still burning up the track at 45 - was the worthy victor. Snapped this shot at a fan gathering outside the stadium.


WERE YOU ON YOUR LONESOME?

Nah, I was with MR for the bikes, boozing at Spleen Bar (twice) and a gig by Pommy post-punks The Fall. We arrived late after receiving poor advice about when the band would actually take the stage and ordering a round too many. Speaking to a few punters there afterwards, we didn't miss a great deal.


I was with PB for the crowded, chaotic, ultimately mind-blowing "David Bowie Is" at ACMI, where we both had a soft spot for the letter from Jim Henson seeking DB's thoughts on a rough draft of the "Labyrinth" script. While we were checking out the rest of ACMI, a pair of newlyweds got me to photograph them in front of the robot Dexter from the old TV dating show "Perfect Match".


PB and I also went to Sticky Institute so I could buy zines, to Hutong Dumpling Bar because he said it was ace (it was), and to the NGV for "Masterpieces From The Hermitage". These Russian treasures dazzled and appalled in equal measure, as the more masterfully worked and splendidly gilded an object, the more it conjured visions of freezing, starving peasants. My fave thing about the National Gallery of Victoria was the building itself. Google it!


CHEERS FOR SHARING YOUR EXTREMELY VALUABLE TIME, ADDSTER, YOU BLOODY CHAMPION.

No wuckas. Here's a pic of a fountain.

Last five movies watched

Pick of the bunch: "The Incite Mill" is one of those strangers-trapped-in-a-sick-game-where-they-must-kill-or-be-killed tales. Unlike the many Hollywood equivalents, it's well plotted and even thoughtful.