Life, oh life, oh life, oh life

In the early days of "Magic: The Gathering", tournament organisers were a law unto themselves. In '94 or '95*, we drove from Newie to a suburban Sydney tourney held in a church hall. It appeared fairly normal until time was called on the first round...and the announcer informed us that unfinished games in progress went to the player with the highest life total. WTF? This was long before the introduction of the "five extra turns" rule, so you could have total board control and be guaranteed victory on your next go, but if your opponent had one more life point when the clock struck X, they were declared the winner rather than that game not counting towards the best-of-three result. We thought it was bonkers. Naturally, the locals, being well aware of this dodgy determining factor, were all packing a touch of life-gain in their decks. Bastards.

*Positive it was post-Fallen Empires, less sure if it was pre- or post-Ice Age.

The kingdom of the Crystal skol

Do you remember home-delivered soft drink? I feel like it's been gone for decades - killed by the rise to utter dominance of the supermarket chains and monopoly of the beverage corporations - but maybe I'm wrong about that. Maybe there are places in Australia where such services survive.

'Cos who wouldn't want a crate of a dozen sodas in a rainbow of flavours brought to their door each week? Cherry cheer, cola, ginger beer, lemonade, lime, orange, pineapple, portello, sarsaparilla... As a child, it seemed the ultimate luxury. We never got it as my parents strictly rationed sugary treats - despite Dad admitting his family received deliveries when he was a kid.

There were always tales about people stealing the soft-drink money (which I believe you left out for the deliveryman along with your order form and your empties). And whenever one of these trucks pulled up in the street during a neighbourhood cricket game, we'd fantasise about swiping a bevvy. Only DB was ever bold enough to do so, guzzling it warm once the coast was clear.

The name I associate with home-delivered soft drink is Crystal. However, a quick Google reveals there were a bunch of Aussie firms that specialised in conveying fizzy nectar to the nation's households. The wooden crates and clear-glass bottles are now collector's items for nostalgic oldsters like me.

Animal behaviour

This morning, I heard yet another story about a change of personnel at a studio leading to popular projects being neglected, sabotaged or outright cancelled. I witnessed the same thing in publishing, where a new editor would retire a great column because it "didn't fit their vision". (And just possibly because they couldn't take credit for its success.) 

It occurs to me that this mirrors instances of infanticide in the animal kingdom where the perpetrator only wants their genetic offspring around. Not sure how to illustrate this dark reflection or even if I should. Scar from "The Lion King"? Let's skip the image.

Newtonian alchemy

This entry has nothing to do with Isaac's occult dabblings - I just like the sound of "Newtonian alchemy".

In fact, today's bit o' randomness concerns Gygaxian appraisal.

I've been happily trawling through the many extensive interviews done by the "Grogtalk Podcast" (www.grogcon.com/podcast), and more than one person has mentioned that Gary would sometimes have potential hires take a written test of their gaming knowledge.

Funnily enough, we briefly did similar - except ours was a quick oral exam - prior to admitting peeps into our "D&D" group.

I think it was to stop kids pretending they wanted to join our weird little circle seated on the concrete pitch of the vacant cricket net, then trying to derail the adventure or make a joke out of everything.

We also used to test each other. An example that springs to mind is the XP value of a gold dragon: 2700.

That tells me it *wasn't* in 1982, when we first fell under the spell of "D&D" via WD's old brother, and only had a borrowed copy of the Basic Rulebook printed in '81. That incarnation of the rules required you to calculate the experience gained from monsters.

It musta been 1983, when the red box arrived. Of course, the wyrms it contained turned out to be baby versions of what appeared in "AD&D" and later sets.

And why would you *want* to slay a lawful gold dragon???

Rerunning the "Gauntlet"

Last week, I wrote my second letter to a videogame publication regarding "Gauntlet". On this occasion, I emailed pointing out an error in an article. The previous (paper!) correspondence was in answer to a request for readers to discuss their all-time top games.

I've never loved an arcade machine as much as I did the "Gauntlet I & II" cabinets. None of the sequels have come close, IMO, but I've usually given them a go out of loyalty. Anyway, I thought it'd be fun to share some "Gauntlet" memories here on DGN...

* Crowding around the "Gauntlet II" cab at Sideshow Alley after school sports arvos; knowing there were buses to catch, desperate to delve deeper into the dungeon.

* Successfully copying a mate's Commodore 64 disk originals. Sorry, Gremlin Graphics/US Gold. I recollect we used a cartridge on the main prog and a slow copier for the levels.

* Being frankly amazed when my friend BP made an adapter for his Amiga's parallel port so we could plug in two extra joysticks and tackle "Gauntlet II" in true 4P mode.

* Hating the Nerd character's inclusion in "Gauntlet: The Third Encounter" on the Lynx. (Talk about self-loathing.) I bet I hilariously referred to it as "The Turd Encounter".

* My absolute mission to beat "Gauntlet Legends" at Timezone Randwick, spurred on by the attendant telling me it wasn't feasible. Thank the gods for disposable income.

* I owned the sequel, "Dark Legacy", on GameCube. After donating my GC collection to a local hospital, I momentarily panicked I'd left a char saved with a rude name.^

* Trying a couple of subsequent titles with PG and failing to be wowed. If only we'd discovered the stonkingly good "Gauntlet IV" on the Mega Drive back in the day...


^ Needn't have worried. Later saw a news report about Christmas donations to that hospital which showed shelves full of old consoles. Who knows if mine was ever touched.

Knopfler-Taylor fine

In case you aren't familiar with the Mason-Dixon Line, a crude definition would be: C. 18th border betwixt US states that came to be seen as dividing the North and South, and to an extent continues to be viewed that way.

Surveyors Charles Mason and Jeremiah Dixon were both English. In his popular-science bestseller "A Short History Of Nearly Everything", Bill Bryson remarks on this fact - along with the two men's contribution to astronomy, the mystery surrounding them (unexplained parting, no known likenesses, few references) and their miserable deaths.

They live on, though, in the beautiful song "Sailing To Philadelphia" by Mark Knopfler. He voices Dixon, while James Taylor plays Mason. I want to quote from every verse. The chorus, too. Easier if you listen for yourself...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4AwxdsB518

Zuggtmoy be praised

On January 17, I posted what was then the #1 instant-ish noodle recipe in the world.

The best has gotten better.

When able, I'm now also using dried shiitake mushrooms. Just soak 'em in boiling water for 20 minutes beforehand. I've also switched back to black pepper over red.

There's always 'shroom for refinement :-)

Dancin' in the ruins

Shelley's "Ozymandias" is one of my fave poems. Let's be honest, it's one of many people's favourites.

I first encountered it in junior high and can still picture the spirit-duplicated handout, with a purple illo of a crumbled statue next to the purple text.

What I don't recall is being taught that the poem was written as part of a competition (in 1817-18) between Percy and his buddy Horace Smith.

Here's HS's sonnet, also titled "Ozymandias":


In Egypt’s sandy silence, all alone,
Stands a gigantic Leg, which far off throws
The only shadow that the Desert knows:—
“I am great OZYMANDIAS,” saith the stone,
“The King of Kings; this mighty City shows
The wonders of my hand.”— The City's gone,—
Naught but the Leg remaining to disclose
The site of this forgotten Babylon.

We wonder,—and some Hunter may express
Wonder like ours, when thro’ the wilderness
Where London stood, holding the Wolf in chace,
He meets some fragment huge, and stops to guess
What powerful but unrecorded race
Once dwelt in that annihilated place.


You'll agree it doesn't flow as well, nor is it as evocative.

However, while the punctuation displeases the modern eye, hearing it read improves the experience:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNOCY9Vp4nk

The octave may perhaps be dismissed beside Shelley's work. The sestet at least contains the interesting idea of a ruined future London (populated by rockers and skate punks?).

And that final couplet is a stone-cold killer.

"Q" magazine is no more

This is an excellent (not overlong) retrospective from one of the founders.

It's the sort of knowledgeable-yet-playful writing that made me so enjoy the mag when sister AC and I used to borrow it from Mayfield Library.

That and dreaming about getting my hands on the new releases, special editions and box sets in the reviews section :-)

https://www.newstatesman.com/culture/music-theatre/2020/07/why-we-should-mourn-loss-q-magazine

Kudos sanger

Recently, I heard the term "compliment sandwich". It means to criticise in between saying positive things.

"Cool colour scheme. That font is way too difficult to read - it'll have to go. Definitely like the colours, though."

If you care about the feelings of others, you've probably served one up without even realising. I reckon it's a good term.

Here's a grab of a bad-guy sandwich. It's kind of the opposite.