It takes a village idiot / Not the full 60 cards

That was the week that was...early Steeleye Span; 2010 documentary "Hey, Boo - Harper Lee & 'To Kill A Mockingbird'"; the schadenfreude of Man City's 6-1 humiliation of Man United; irritation at those who say "off of"; interrupted sleep; a hastily abandoned exercise routine; appalling service from one branch of the Commmonwealth Bank and exemplary service from another; a chat with GH; Louise Jameson in "Pulling Faces" at Bankstown Sports Club (it's in the constellation of Kasterborous); learning Brian Eno is short for Brian Peter George St John le Baptiste de la Salle Eno; a replay of Cage Fighting Championship 18; feeling kinship upon hearing "Zzap! 64" legend Gary Penn was once assistant editor at "Knave"; interviewing a grappling whiz; Japanese strawberry condensed milk candies; the poems of Joseph Brodsky; Four Nations rugby league; Benny 1.2; a chat with PG; surf'n'turf dining; UKTV docudrama "The Kangaroo Gang: Thieves By Appointment" (2011?), about the Aussie shoplifters who fleeced London in the '60s and '70s; book-of-the-art-exhibition "I Am 8-Bit" (2006); girly graphic novels "The New York Four" (2008) and "The New York Five" (2011), both by Brian Wood and Ryan Kelly; UFC 137 - the build-up, the king-hits'n'misses and the fallout; a shamble 'round the neighbourhood; and "Battlefield 3" in campaign mode on PS3 until I got stuck.


None of this ever happened - http://bit.ly/tRG97P

Vexatious

If you can, watch the Nat Geo doco "Saxon Gold: Finding The Hoard". It details the 2009 discovery, by an amateur fossicker combing a farmer's field with a metal detector, of 1500+ military and religious treasures dating back 1400 years - and the secretive excavation operation that followed. One of the experts featured on the program, Dr Kevin Leahy, notes, "Is this the biggest Anglo-Saxon gold hoard? No, it's the *only* Anglo-Saxon gold hoard. It's unique; it's unprecedented." Indeed, the size and composition of the trove defy easy interpretation (although theories are advanced). Those involved, who include Dr Helen Geake from "Time Team", also puzzle over craftsmanship that goes beyond what were assumed to be the limits of the time.

I have applied to begin a part-time university degree in 2012...

Flashing back - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bo3R3LBjDek

The programmer as developer

Legate Damar: "It is my duty to inform you that you will be turned over to a Cardassian tribunal, where you will be tried as war criminals."
Ezri Dax: "War criminals? What are the charges?"
LD: "That is not necessary for you to know. All you need to know is that you will be found guilty and executed"
- "DS9: Strange Bedfellows" (S07E19).

"[In Soviet Russia] we knew where we were going - to our graves, in an orderly fashion"
- My lecturer, who grew up in Communist Moscow. (Was she quoting? Google doesn't think so.)

Pulled the plug on "The Dresden Files" after five minutes. For a show about a wizard, it gave off a dull, mainstream vibe, and I couldn't be arsed persevering. Expected to have an identical reaction to "Tower Prep", a TV series about a school for youngsters gifted with special powers. Now where had I seen that idea before? The advert made it look like the over-rated and frankly dumb "Morning Glories", an Image comic also owing a debt to Marvel's "The New Mutants" et al. However, the plotting of veteran DC scribe Paul Dini drew me in, unfolding the mystery of the titular institution steadily while leaving just the right amount of questions unanswered. Though the dialogue occasionally fell flat, there was plenty of action to balance the teen drama. At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite for criticising similarity X (so to speak) and praising homage Y, I dug the echoes of the "The Prisoner" in the way potential escapees were rounded up, as well as the "Harry Potter" familiarity of the central cabal.

~1989: BP, a random named D. and I were passing a partly constructed house when the builder in charge asked if we were interested in an arvo's labouring. He said he'd pay us $20 each. As fit lads ever in search of a quid, we agreed. For the next...I dunno, 3-4 hours, we carried, fetched, swept and menial tasks like that. The foreman nicked off before knock-off, leaving another builder to give us our dough. He was visibly ashamed as he told us, "He only left me $20 for the three of you. But if you want to come to the tavern, I'll buy youse all a beer." Being underage and sans transport - and teetotallers regardless - we declined and proceeded to the nearby takeaway to spend the money on hamburgers. Weeks later, passing a different building site, BP and I encountered the same crew. The head fella called out, asking if we wanted an arvo's labouring, but he was laughing as he did so. I took the stolen handgun from the waistband of my shorts and shot him dead. In an alternate universe. In this universe, one of us yelled, "We'll be right," and we went on down the road.

Who remembers "Earthwatch"?

Was hit with the dreaded insomnia in the wee hours. Lay abed for strange aeons before finally admitting defeat, turning on the light and reaching for my latest prescribed text. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn's "One Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovich" (1962) was an awful journey worth taking, if ye ken what I'm saying (to use an inappropriately Scottish phrasing). The gulags were the worst form of torture - backbreaking labour in mind-numbing, soul-destroying conditions. No, that's too glib a description. Those camps forced humans to become rats. To eke out a pathetic, squalid existence in a state of constant fear and desperation. Every rat for itself. The miracle of the novel is how the protagonist finds moments of happiness amid the uncountable cruelties. Similarly, there's a dark poetry to be found in metaphors like "as tightly packed as seeds in a sunflower" and expressions such as "wolf's sunshine" for moonlight.

Have enrolled in my next adult-education course - a history and analysis of Islamic politics by country/region. Can six Tuesday nights and a quartet of reference works cure me of my ignorance? :-)

Changing topic, I totally don't get the cult of Cliff Bleszinski among videogame journalists and fans. He comes across as a stand-up guy, sure, but worthy of, for instance, today's allegedly humorous segment on "X-Play"? On a scale of 1 to 10, my interest is about -20.

Five possible names for a wireless network
1. Daedalus
2. Setec Astronomy
3. Silver Cord
4. Charlotte
5. Porn Funnel 3000


2+2: Suddenly twigged that Maryann Forrester from "True Blood" is Ensign Ro Laren from "Next Gen", aka actress Michelle Forbes. 15-20 years on, her beauty has hardly diminished.

This one's for Morn

Tasty Bacon Pringles are harsh. Don't believe I've ever given up halfway through a cannister before.

Mary S. Lovell's "The Mitford Girls" (2001) is quite the best biography I've read - and there was a time I read nothing but bios (most of them borrowed from Mayfield Library). It's impeccably researched, dotted with diamantine sentences and never less than fascinating. You find yourself falling for each of the famous sisters in turn...except poor deluded Unity.

Struggling to source an out-of-print volume? Have a peep at AbeBooks.com, a megamart for thousands of independent dealers around the globe. It's been helpful to me on occasion, when Amazon and the local secondhand emporiums weren't. (If you're worried about security, stick with the sellers accepting payment by PayPal.)

Treating myself to Sakae after a day too demanding for a proper meal break, I was positioned near a trio of American businessman who I'd estimate were closer to 60 than 50. I wasn't following their convo, but a comment about a Jackson Browne concert one had attended while in college caught my ear. "He opened with 'Running On Empty'," said the fellow, as if no further explanation was necessary. When I arrived home, I felt compelled to bust out "The Very Best Of JB". What a song.

I'd gone to a normally deserted stretch of the NSW coast with SC and LC to investigate rock carvings revealed when erosion caused a huge chunk of vegetation to fall away from a cliff face. We had their pet cat on a leash. In spite of the fact that (a) he's an indoor cat, and (b) putting cats on leashes is stupid. We weren't alone – lots of folks had also made the drive/hike to observe this unusual phenomenon. There were two small black dogs leaping wavelets. And the carvings were astonishing! Not Aboriginal but Middle-Eastern in style, they seemingly depicted scenes from a royal court. "Babylonian," stated a bearded academic type. We stared at them without speaking as the tide ate into the narrow strip of sand on which we stood. Then it struck me: "They look like vampires." As one, we realised that the mouth of every figure showed tiny fang points. Dom dom DOM! End of dream.

Prompted by MR: Comedy persona Neil Hamburger may be intentionally unfunny/offensive/disturbing on stage, however, "his" Twitter feed - used to bait celebrities and insult clueless, insincere question-asking manufacturers - is hilarious. http://twitter.com/#!/NeilHamburger


Needed for "Innistrad" set: Liliana Of The Veil (holy crap, she's already US$59.99 at Star City Games!), Stromkirk Noble.


Classic Partridge responses - http://bit.ly/orFgdQ

Bong disposal squad ++

Asakusa, Newtown is a VFM JPNS RSTRNT. That doesn't really work, does it? Never mind. As well as being VFM, it has a friendly atmosphere. When I visited, after Thursday's Russian lit. class, several of the other customers appeared to be regulars, based on the smiley greetings they exchanged with the staff. I took the opportunity to try togarashi tofu, which is like my old favourite agedashi tofu but with chilli and garlic added to the deep-fried bean curd in miso broth (spring onions and bonito flakes are standard to both, AFAIK RDRS). When the waiter set it down, he just said, "Hot tofu." It wasn't very. Unless he meant temperature. However, the flavour was pleasant and I'll probably choose t/t in preference to a/t when it's available in future. The lamb katsu could never compare to Mum's lamb cutlets, with the meat inside these crunchy golden crumbs thin and slightly dry, but there were a few pieces and it made a change from the chicken and pork varieties. Even if I wouldn't order that dish again, I'd be prepared to return to Asakusa and sample something else. And if you're ever there, look up. Then explain to me exactly how all of those little lights on wires hanging from crosswires aren't dangerous. WTF HLTH & SFTY?

Addster: "I bought this pen here yesterday, then found it didn't contain any ink."
Newsagent: "That's not possible." [Scowls]
Addster: "It was about 2.30 in the afternoon, I paid $2.95 for it and I think it might have been you who served me."
Newsagent: [Takes and scans pen, presumably checks sales log] "I'm sorry, please take another."

PB stayed over Saturday, ahead of a week of business here in Sydders. When we weren't walking and talking for miles, we were sport-watching and talking for hours. We also managed to squeeze in feeds from three of my fave nosheries - Sushi Fusion, The Jilted Anchovy and La Cocina.

"People talk about Steven Moffat as being this masterful juggler. Maybe, but he's like a juggler who comes into your home, picks up your most precious things and throws them into the air. Rather than being impressed with his skill, all you want is for him to put them down again and go away"
- Me, in an email discussion about the present decline of "Doctor Who". Yes, I'm proud of that analogy :-)

Okey-dokey, back to "El Shaddai: Ascension Of The Metatron" on PS3...


No. of cards required for a full set of "Innistrad": nine (5xR, 4xM).


Badly gashed the ring finger on my right hand :-(

Now that "The Guild" is betwixt seasons - http://bit.ly/pPVm50

Less mash and fewer peas

"Listen: I am ideally happy. My happiness is a kind of challenge. As I wander along the streets and the squares and the paths by the canal, absently sensing the lips of dampness through my worn soles, I carry proudly my ineffable happiness. The centuries will roll by, and schoolboys will yawn over the history of our upheavals; everything will pass, but my happiness, dear, my happiness will remain, in the moist reflection of a streetlamp, in the cautious bend of stone steps that descend into the canal's black waters, in the smiles of a dancing couple, in everything with which God so generously surrounds human loneliness"
- from the short story "A Letter That Never Reached Russia" (written in the period 1924-1939) by Vladimir Nabokov.

"[Chas] expresses a theory, heard or read somewhere, that television transmissions, like radio waves, never die - they simply travel further and further into space. This being the case, the missing episodes aren't missing at all, merely out of reach. All that's needed is the appropriate funding and technology to zip yourself to some far corner of the galaxy, armed with a VCR, blank tapes and a decent aerial, and snatch them back. Of course, timing of such expeditions would be crucial, to avoid the crushing disappointment of obsessive fanboys being blasted into the cosmos, only to return with a fuzzy 'Coronation Street' and a couple of 'Jason King's"
- "Single White Who Fan: The Life & Times Of Jackie Jenkins" (from a 1998 column reprinted in this 2011 collection).

"If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!"
- Zapp Brannigan

NT and I saw the musical "Mary Poppins" at the Capitol Theatre and found it to be, as the song goes, "practically perfect". Couldn't fault the cast - kudos to the actresses responsible for the magical MP and winsome Winifred Banks - or the staging, and the strong numbers made up for the less catchy ones. Although I'm always wary about high-wire harnesses since wrestler Owen Hart's tragic demise, the aerial sequences in this show were wowing. Not that any of the special effects compared to Mary's perma-smile or her funny mannerisms such as gliding up stairs. See it if you can.

My UFC 136 wagering was on Zhang, Pettis, Guillard, Sonnen, Aldo and Maynard, for a 3-3 finish and a net loss. MMA betting is hard. Caught the PPV at Grumpy's Inn, Hurlstone Park with MR, SH and a bunch of dudes I hadn't previously met.

The promise of the premise

Lessons from Sydcon 2011

1. Don't expect the canteen to be open before Session 1. (At my first Sydney convention, in the early '90s, I survived on sausage rolls and Mars bars. Broke my fast with the same at this con, before switching to healthier fare.)
2. The era of "star" teams in matching T-shirts appears over.
3. Players are now encouraged by the organisers to tweet their experiences live.
4. Splitting the party is still a bad, bad thing.
5. Around this neck of the woods at least, tabletop role-playing remains a very Anglo hobby.
6. I reckon there are more eccentrics in this subculture than even the sci-fi, comic and manga ones.
7. Characters in modern scenarios now rely on Google, SMS-ing, etc.
8. Kathy loves Johanna. (Actually, I learnt this from a desk carving.)

How I spent my sessions

SATURDAY
1. "Andersonvilletown 1931: Sex, Lies And Cherry Pie" (custom system)
2. "An ARD Day's Night" (Paranoia)
3. "Witching Stew" (Warhammer FRP 3e)
SUNDAY
4. "Murder In Two Stag Pass" (Legend Of The Five Rings)
5. "Evil On The Loose" (original D&D)
6. "The Shadow From The Chapel" (Call Of Cthulhu)
MONDAY
7. "The Seven Secret Deaths Of The Crystal Dragonfly" (Giallo/Fudge)
8. "Sympathy For The Devil" (World Of Darkness)
*. Skipped the prizegiving. Not my scene and I had a weekend's worth of work to catch up on anyhow.

In a word, the GM was...

1. Committed
2. Mischievous
3. Professional
4. Knowledgeable
5. Laid-back
6. Theatrical
7. Urbane
8. Confident

I played the role of...

1. An ex-pro wrestler
2. A pen pusher
3. A grave robber
4. An archer of the Mantis Clan
5. A dwarf
6. A professor of biochemistry (or something like that)
7. A ballet student
8. A jack-of-all-trades
Note: All PCs except the archer were male.

One interesting feature of the game

1. The six of us got to choose from 26(!) pre-generated characters.
2. Music and sound effects courtesy of the GM's phone.
3. 3D map used for grand finale.
4. The character sheets were lovely, especially the portraits.
5. Took me back to 1982, gaming with the Moldvay basic set on the concrete pitch of an unused cricket net at St Michael's, Nelson Bay.
6. There were laminated reproductions of old photos for all the people and places!
7. While the castle floorplans were neat, the strengths of this module were its originality and rich setting.
8. Run from an iPad, which I guess will go from novelty to standard practice soon enough.

No. of dice rolled, time over or under the scheduled three hours

1. Zero dice, +37 minutes
2. 12, -20
3. I stopped counting at 100, -5
4. 90, +15
5. 14, -5
6. Seven, dead even (or in my case, just dead :-))
7. 28, even
8. 73, even


For RS: Boosters cracked. There seem to be a high proportion of mythics, but also an annoying number of rare doubles and even triples. Sorting next...

From CM: http://little-people.blogspot.com/ <- RECOMMENDED!


Paint it octarine.

A briefer history of time

1336-1573 - Era of the Ashikaga Shogunate in Japan. The audiobook "Doctor Who: The Jade Pyramid" (written by Martin Day, read by Matt Smith) *seemed* like it was set during this time period. I emailed the author for a more specific date and he was nice enough to reply, giving learned reasons why he'd deliberately kept it vague.

1926 - Bulgakov's "The White Guard" partially published.

1986 - British musos/marketing exercise Sigue Sigue Sputnik deliver a piece of sample-heavy pop-rock genius entitled "Flaunt It", which retains its off-the-wall appeal to this day.

2007 - Founding of free blogging network Tumblr, used primarily for collating pics on a specific subject, as with - to pluck an example from the air - Fuck Yeah Girls With Short Hair.

2011 - New Zealand-born, Australian-based mixed martial artists James Te Huna and Mark Hunt both do the business at UFC 135.


"Take Netflix, which is used by 20 million people to rent and watch movies. Of the movies rented in the US, 60 per cent are chosen because Netflix recommended them. It does this using an algorithm called Pragmatic Chaos, which takes into account other movies you like and how many movies you rated before you rated your most recent one. The algorithm is taking ideas about human behaviour and coding them and reinforcing them.
"The danger is that such an algorithm can create a monoculture. But this is not the way culture works - it is actually much spikier, much less predictable. The movie 'Napoleon Dynamite', for example, always breaks the Netflix algorithm: people who really should love this movie hate it, and people who should hate it, love it"
- Kevin Slavin in "Welcome To The 'Algoworld'", "New Scientist" mag (August 20).

"'The Back to The Future' trilogy is perfect and contains no plot holes! Except for the plot hole inherent in nearly all time-travel films: The planet Earth is moving through space at an immense speed... So if you travel back in time, you are travelling to a time when the Earth was in a different location, and you and your time machine would appear somewhere out in deep space. For a time machine to be useful, it also needs to be able to teleport you to wherever the Earth was/is at your destination time"
- Excerpt from Amazon.com Q&A with Ernest Cline.

"If this fight were to go to the 10th round, Hannibal actually has the fuel to get there, and Genghis just may gas out"
- An amusing application of sporting terminology from Dr Armand Dorian, "Deadliest Warrior" (S03E04).

"Nature abhors a zombie"
- Grave Bramble, "M:TG - Innistrad".


Wazzock.