More-than-equal sequel

"The Gamers: Dorkness Rising" (2008), while perhaps not as crudely funny as the original 2002 fantasy flick/role-playing satire, has 10 times the story and level of polish. (I got mine at a discount from the Military Simulations stand at the con.)


Reading: "Kujibiki Unbalance #2" (2007) by Shimoku/Keito.

Cooking drama

Chucking both rice and vegies into your rice cooker is hella convenient. However, it means the normally perfect prescribed amounts of water no longer apply. Prepare for a tiny bit of burning on the bottom of the pan if you don't guesstimate correctly.


Reading: "Data Extract #200".

Promoting

I'd never thought about what fight promoters do when they aren't holding press conferences or swimming in money pools like Scrooge McDuck. But the latest episode of "UFC Primetime", hyping tomorrow's rematch between BJ Penn and Georges St-Pierre for the welterweight title, showed me that blokes like the savvy Dana White also need to keep tabs on their combatants - to make sure they're preparing properly and there's no danger of the punters being disappointed.

As soon as Hawaiian BJ decided to take a beach break away from the gym, word filtered back to Dana, who was straight on the phone to Penn's trainer. Unfortunately, there's not much a promoter can do when the person from whom he seeks reassurance massages the truth...until he eventually sees the footage of what happened.

If Quebecois Georges is victorious, which I predict he will be, questions could be asked about training intensity. Then again, they don't call BJ "The Prodigy" for nothing, and given the legitimate heat between the two (a bloodied St-Pierre was the points winner of their first meeting and the pre-fight trash talk has been particularly nasty), I'm tempted to blow 40 quid that I really should be saving on "UFC #94".


Reading: "Tokyo Days, Bangkok Nights" (2002-03) by Vankin/Fisher/Camuncoli/Martinbrough.

This is a stick-out!

While paying my rent at the nearby Commonwealth Bank, I perved on an attractive blonde. It took me a second to realise that, along with a blouse, slacks, heels and handbag, she was wearing a whopping great pistol in a holster on her hip! Dare I make an "arresting officer" gag?

SC and I went to a concert

The indie rockers were separated by, of all things, a magic show. After approximately a keg of beer, I didn't feel very magical.

Sisters and brothers-in-law

Using culinary skills acquired on her recent trip to Thailand, EM made masses of authentic green chicken curry for herself, TM, AK, VK, CK and yours voraciously. In my case, it was accompanied by five different ales/lagers (two newies), which contravened my pick-a-variety-and-stick-to-it rule but was fun nonetheless. Between convos, I joined my niece in front of a "Dora The Explorer" DVD and quickly understood why kids go loco for this educational 'toon - it even had me singing along.

ADBB Canberra

Day 1 - The "Degas: Master Of French Art" exhibition at the National Gallery, where there was a "no sketching" sign within 10 feet of a description of the artist as a "prolific copyist".

Days 2-4 - Cancon 2009 with TC and LPO, playing "Red November", "Risk: The Lord Of The Rings", "Settlers Of Catan", "Space Munchkin", "Ultramarines", "World Of Warcraft: The Adventure Game" and lots of "D&D 4E" ("Pyramid Of Shadows" and "Dark Heart Of Mithrendain").

Day 5 - National Zoo And Aquarium. Animals, animals, animals, animals, animals everywhere! Typically, I return to Chateau Addster craving Vegemite sandwiches, baked beans and quality sushi.


Reading: "Stephen King Goes To The Movies" (2009).

Even super-cautious germ-phobes are susceptible to...

...food poisoning :-(

Or was it a familiar?

A neighbouring flat reeks of cigarette smoke and sweat. On occasion, I've surreptitiously sprayed Glen 20 into the stairwell to clear the air. Could it *be* any more offensive? Yuh-huh. The other night, as I walked towards it, I noticed the wooden door was open and a cat was peering out of the screen door. "Hello, puss," I said. It hissed at me like it really meant it, then again for good measure.

Language policing

On Friday arvo, I previewed "The Pink Panther 2" and this evening it's "The Reader". I hope Kate Winslet's German accent is better than Steve Martin's French one.

Latest known whereabouts

JH and SH's housewarming (followed by games of "Incan Gold" and poker) in Morisset. The no longer luckless Newie Jets 2 - Perth Glory 1 at EnergyAustralia Stadium in Broadmeadow. Delicious food in abundance, relaxing conversation and telly at my parents' home in Warabrook.

Afrirampo/Dead Meadow/Fuck Buttons

That's the eclectic line-up of bands I saw on a whim at the Oxford Art Factory not 24 hours ago. The subterranean venue was surprisingly cool given the 38-46^C temperatures reported around the city during the day and the capacity crowd.

Afrirampo was a twosome of avant-garde rock chicks from Japan sporting bright red outfits, matching facepaint and bare feet. They played electric guitar, drums and ocarina, and at one point were both pounding the skins with their own sticks – the "official" drummer standing atop the kit and really winding up, taiko style. Their whispered, spoken, sung, screamed and screeched lyrics were incomprehensible to me, although they did attempt to explain a choon about the light from dead stars as a metaphor for the human condition. No joke. Bookending the set were tolerably brief bursts of cabaret that involved the gals pretending to be a hungry koala, then, if I interpreted it correctly, a kangaroo that was mistaken for a koala.

American stoner rock trio Dead Meadow, a traditional guitar/bass/drums combo, swigged beers and passed a bottle of Jim Beam back and forth between trippy-yet-hard-riffin' tracks with strange, sorta husky vocals. Deceptively talented musicians, they blew my pickled mind with ease and had me seeing octarine. The highest compliment I can pay these champs – besides referring to them as champs – is to say their number "What Needs Must Be" had a touch of Blue Oyster Cult about it (and for those who don't know, BOC is my absolute favourite group).

Headline act Fuck Buttons consisted of a pair of youthful UK noise boffins who erected a wall of sound, layer by layer, using keyboards, a drum machine, a MacBook, an original Game Boy, a Fisher-Price(?) children’s karaoke machine that produced quite a shrieking, a suitcase of wired-together electronic junk and Turing knows what else. Word on the information superhighway had led me to expect a whole-body buzz, but unlike past gigs where I felt my internal organs were vibrating dangerously, that wasn't the case. Which is not to say the blokes weren't excellent. They've got a unique knack for creating a new type of music that gradually overwhelms the listener. You will close your eyes, you will bob your head to the beat and you will be effing disappointed when it abruptly ceases. At the press of a button.

Incidental crud... As usual, the advertised program (8pm-11.30) was nonsense. The reality was: doors opened 8.15pm, Afrirampo went from 8.30-9.15, Dead Meadow 9.45-10.30 and Fuck Buttons 11-midnight. No-one did an encore. There was a staff member diligently checking wrist stamps as you re-entered the auditorium from the loo, suggesting pesky kids have been sneaking in the back way. (Why do I picture the Famous Five negotiating a secret passage by torchlight?) In my opinion, any of these outfits would be worth catching at the All Tomorrow's Parties events. However, I'd be worried about the effectiveness of Fuck Buttons in an unenclosed area. Afrirampo also benefited from the intimate venue, which allowed the ladies to jump in and out of the crowd while remaining in view. Dead Meadow should be fine in any setting, provided there's enough ampage.

Tuenesday

Pints of Kilkenny at Paddy Maguire's with my old school chum CS2. Malaysian Snek Kut Potato Stick Tomato Flavour. Australia beating South Africa two-zip in the Twenty20 cricket "series" and the emergence of David Warner. My weekly dose of "One Life Left". Coach Dungy retiring with a stunning record at the Bucks/Colts and 100% of his integrity intact. Sequential lunches of salmon steak at Sakae (God's own fish!). Learning that Christopher Boyce, the avian-monikered half of true-espionage tale "The Falcon And The Snowman", escaped from prison, robbed 17 banks and, before he was recaptured, intended to fly himself to Russia! A preview of Clint Eastwood's "Gran Torino" - powerful, riveting cinema - with PB, CM and his periodical's web site guy, S. My weekly dose of "Flight Of The Conchords". Commencing 2008's "Doctor Who: Ghosts Of India" by Mark Morris (Doc Ten and Ms Noble in a fix with...Gandhi?). Watching a "longplay" of C64 arcade adventure "Dan Dare" being conquered - for nostalgia's sake and because PG sent me the linky-dink. Die, Mekon, die!


Overdue observation: I'm so sick of the T-shirt plus keffiyeh-worn-as-scarf trend. It makes about as much sense as putting an ashtray on a motorbike. If you're cold, wear an overshirt or thin jacket. Just trying to be "fashionable"? You look ridiculous.

Lily Allen covers

The same day a colleague opens my ears to Lily Allen's soulful rendition of the Britney Spears song "Womanizer" (au.youtube.com/watch?v=3jOzuLsJIUE), the Pommy poppet materialises on the front of free backpacker rag "British Balls Magazine" in a composite image with Time-Lord-to-be Matt Smith. The headline:

W H O ' S___T H A T___G I R L?
I T ' S___L I L Y___A L L E N
Mouthy muso to be Doctor's assistant?

Sure, it's a cute'n'clever beat-up based on a rumour, and I'm keeping my copy of "BBM" precisely because I don't believe it's actually gonna happen, ie. for the future curiosity value of the cover. But just imagine if it does... I'll go ahead and smile. Especially when Lily starts baiting the Daleks on her Facebook page :-)

Five years on

Cancon, the national capital's legendary annual gaming convention, is 31 this year and I'll be there to celebrate. When I last attended, in 2004, I played "Magic: The Gathering" tournaments for the entire long weekend (in the vintage, extended, standard and sealed formats) and, despite a couple of minor prizes, regretted locking myself into an activity requiring fairly intense concentration. I recall relishing the breaks between rounds when I would hurry to the main hall and rubberneck at the hundred-plus fantasy/historical/modern era/sci-fi wargames in progress, with their gorgeously painted miniatures and participants friendlier than many of those at the "M:TG" tables, as well as cruising the dealer stalls for cool stuff. I was travelling on my own then, but in '09 I'll be sharing a hotel with my buddies TC and LPO and we plan on playing a casual mix of RPGs, boardgames and cards. My accommodation is booked, ditto my preferred mode of transport (Greyhound now give you the option to "purchase carbon offsets" for an additional dollar, which I think is great). That leaves a fortnight to prepare the "single-session module using a non-'D&D' system" that I've promised to GM.


Yummo steak at Yama, Queen Vic Building

Big chunks of sirloin on a bed of kumara mash and baby spinach leaves, topped with asparagus spears and surrounded by a sweet, brown sesame sauce.

Bargain of this century

An official Rush (as in the band) 2009 calendar, sealed in plastic, for $2 at Kmart! Incredibly, I found it dumped on a shelf in the toy section while selecting LEGO for my nephew's birthday.

Who cares who wins?

With my Colts eliminated from the AFC race by the Chargers (deja bloody vu!), I'm just enjoying the remaining NFL playoffs for what they are - such as this morning's punishing encounter between the Titans and Ravens, in which the penalties almost equalled the points.

Thrice the fun

Braving the chaos of the Sydney Festival, I made my way to the Genesian Theatre in Kent St to see Michael Frayn's 1982 comedy "Noises Off" - three acts giving three unique perspectives on the staging of a play...

Initially, the audience is privy to a farcical 11th-hour rehearsal, wherein the frustrated director wanders the floor giving instruction and blowing his stack, and we learn which members of cast and crew are sleeping together and which are jealous. After a 15-minute intermission, the scenery having been rotated 180^, it's time for the "real" thing. As the same piece is performed on the other side of the backdrop (a double-storey house with eight doors), directed away from us, we witness instead the backstage movements and costume changes, and the tiffs, sabotage and other shenanigans. Following a 10-minute interval and the righting of the scenery, we flash forward to the end of the show's run, when the multitude of grievances combined with the general ineptitude have reduced it to an amusing, in-our-face shambles.


Trashflash 2: The Trashening

Transferred all the empty boxes in my flat - from appliances, collectables, parcels, whatever - to the recyling bin. There were 23 of the bastards! It's remarkable how rapidly they accumulate and how much space has been freed.

Spelunking spunks are sunk

Watched "The Descent" (2005) because I was sick of every man and his dog soldier raving and there's supposedly a sequel in the underground tunnel. The scariest horror fillum I've seen in for-ages. Cheers, PG.

Impatient to revisit Donna

"Doctor Who: Martha In The Mirror" (2008) by Justin Richards. A dude gazes into a full-length mirror and his reflection produces a gun, shoots him dead and steps through. Now there's an opening sequence for ya!

Trashflash

Snickers Rockin' Nut Road Bar: "Almonds, caramel and marshmallow-flavored nougat wrapped in dark chocolate." Limited-edition Yank concoction that my pal DL pronounced moreish but I reckon is too rich and gooey to consider eating a second 51.9g portion...for breakfast :-)

Movie review: "Revolutionary Road" (2008)

The gist: Early on in this two-hour flick, when Frank and April Wheeler (Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet) stop their car to have a ripsnorter of an argument that verges on assault, it's apparent they're not the model of marital bliss their neighbours in 1950s suburban Connecticut believe. Both dream of escaping to a foreign land free from social expectations, but as a pretty young coworker and the opportunity for advancement begin to make his job bearable, she feels increasingly trapped in her roles as housewife and mother. Slowly, irreparably, Frank and April tear each other apart.

Selling points: Memorable turns from Kathy Bates as the Wheelers' fuddy-duddy real estate agent, obsessed with the idea of the perfect couple, and from Michael Shannon as her adult son, once mathematically brilliant but now a shock-therapy casualty cursed to speak the truth like some Shakespearean fool.

It's kinda like: Director Sam Mendes' own "American Beauty" (1999) or indeed any film about the "hopeless emptiness" of the suburbs. Though set a decade prior to cable series "Mad Men" (2007-), it recreates the in-office smoking, clinking cocktail glasses, snappy dressing and cheerful sexism with similar aplomb.

Final word: Don't judge a marriage by its real estate.

[Australian cinema release date: January 22]

You

You humbly returned to your spot on the lads' mag production line. There was a distinct lack of film distributor love sitting in your inbox. You saw an Asian girl cupping the Jatz crackers on a bull statue for a holiday snap. A stranger gave you her buttered Turkish toast, which you promptly ate. You caught your ISP pulling a swifty and let them know about it telephonically. A taxi driver outlined to you his dissatisfaction with Bill Collins. You used a Kinokuniya voucher on half-price MC Escher and Uglydoll calendars for desk and wall. On consecutive days, you got cards from Sri Lanka, Florida and Tanilba Bay.

Or was that me?


Made in Israel, sold in Coles: Bissli Falafel Flavour Wheat Party Snack.

Deeveedee: Bill Bailey stand-uppery "Tinselworm - Live At Wembley" (2008).

"Dead rubber" of a different kind: The Aussie cricketers salvage a modicum of pride gainst the Jarpies.

Was it safe to go in the water?

While renewing my annual membership at Randwick Rugby Club, I was told Coogee Beach was closed due to a shark sighting. I strolled over there and heard the same thing from someone else. A surf boat was patrolling back and forth. I dunno whether the danger had passed, but several people were paddling in the shallows. Then a kid on a rubber raft floated out too far and this huge fin... No, wait, that was "Jaws".


Atypical fare

Hot chips with a curry sauce that gives regular gravy a run for its money at Flamez, the self-proclaimed "best Irish restaurant in County Bondi". And for dessert, a "russo" (vanilla cream slice) from Pastelaria Caravela.

Yarns to rip through

"This Is Not A Drill: Just Another Glorious Day In The Oilfield" (2007) by Paul Carter. Further bloke's own adventures recounted by the author of the beaut "Don't Tell Mum I Work On The Rigs, She Thinks I'm A Piano Player In A Whorehouse".

Weeknightly (as of 05/01)

Season six of "Iron Chef America" on the LifeStyle FOOD channel at 8.30pm. Apparently, Jamie Oliver competes in the opener.

Matt Smith is the 11th Doctor

Welcome aboard the TARDIS, sir!


("Who" fans might also wanna take a tantalising gander at www.metalmuttsite.com.)

Cinematic!

Suddenly, I find myself in possession of an honest-to-goodness home theatre: a 107cm Samsung plasma TV and kick-arse Yamaha amplifier with matching 5.1 speaker kit, playing nice with my LG DVD recorder and Foxtel STU. How so? The honour roll reads as follows...

PB for selling me the set at a generous "mate's rate". VK for heavy lifting and cheerful haulage at short notice (and offering to help dismantle and recycle the giant cardboard boxes). AM for explaining concepts and recommending suppliers to this neophyte. And PB again for logical planning, retail guidance and expert installation. Were it not for him, I'd probably still have been cable-wrangling at midnight.

In my opinion, the ultimate test of any AV set-up will always be 1999's "The Matrix" and let me just say, Trinity is in the shape of her life! But seriously, it's like a whole new, dazzling, deafening movie.


$4.95 HC from BerkelouW

"No Excuses" (2006) by Charlie Weis and Vic Carucci - underline: "One man's incredible rise through the NFL to head coach of Notre Dame." Fascinating so far.

Glutton for nourishment

Darrell Lea Christmas Nougat Pudding. This was a gift from my toddler niece, who I suspect may have had an assist from Santa :-) It's the coconut that makes it.

Just remembered...

The Intencity in Broadway Shopping Centre has an Egyptian-themed "House Of The Dead" variant entitled "The Maze Of The Kings" (Sega, 2002) and a samurai slash-'em-up called "Tsurugi" (Konami, also 2002). The latter involves waving a sword handle in front of motion sensors, while the former replaces "H/O/T/D"'s pistols with stylised magic wands - except in repurposed cabinets like this one. Alas, I only had time to admire the machines for about 30 seconds, so the mummy zapping and ninja slicing will have to wait.

Feasting with friends

Yesterday, I was fortunate to be invited to a dinner at the M. residence where we were served South African Castle Lager, mussels wrapped in bacon, crumbed mussels in their shells, fresh oysters drizzled with celeb chef Tetsuya's oil (such a delicate flavour), a potent French beer with a gnome on the label, delicious roast duck and vegetables, a couple of decent Hunter Valley reds, strawberries and jelly and cream in little biscuit baskets*, liqueur chocolates, praline chocs and Otard cognac. You have permission to drool.


*Pardon my ignorance of the correct term.


Now digesting: "Doctor Who - The Many Hands" (2008) by Dale Smith.

Journal of record

Clarification re: "The Interpretation Of Murder"

The back-cover blurb painted Freud as a Holmesian protagonist when he was actually a secondary figure in a physical sense (yet ever-present through the constant psychoanalysis). Also, the body count was deceptively low - ignore my use of "serial" in the previous post.

Videoslave

The Plug & Play Controller threw up another doozy in the form of "Space War". Not an adaptation of Steve Russell's seminal 1962 shooter "Spacewar!", it's a vertical scroller in the "Star Force" mould that was allegedly programmed in 2000. The power-ups are vaguely reminiscent of "Slap Fight" and it suffers the same problem as that game and "Flying Shark" in that dying results in a crippling loss of speed and firepower. There are eight areas of "SEUCK"-esque landscapes and hideously ugly, flickering bosses. Between each, you can purchase upgrades and even order bombs for collection further on. That ain't necessary. I conquered it on "easy", with multiple spare ships and explosives up my hangar-sized sleeve...and got a crap ending.

Ear-heart co-ordination

"OneLifeLeft Presents...Music To Play Games By" (2008), imported via Amazon UK.

Betraying my sources

Bloggery I missed, a regional rag, "Data Extract #199", "Oh My Goddess! #27" (thank ye, RS), "Hyper #184" and, currently, "Born On A Blue Day" (2006) by Daniel Tammet - underline: "A memoir of Asperger's and an extraordinary mind."

Americana

Fruit Roll-ups - Batman Battle Rolls. Cherry Orange Wildfire's my favourite flavour of these sheets of sticky, pear-based, rainbow gloop.

Isn't YouTube wonderful?

The brand-spankin' "Doctor Who" Christmas special, "The Next Doctor", was recorded, subdivided and uploaded by a kindly soul. Then eagerly viewed by me :-)

Solar bear

The Wildlife Photographer Of The Year 2008 exhibition at the Australian Museum should be a no-brainer for Emerald City folk. To borrow from an e-mail I sent my sister EM earlier, "soul-stirring pics and amazing factoids in the captions". Miguel Lasa's winning shot in the Creative Visions Of Nature category, "Polar Sunrise", is an incredible artistic achievement. Please go see it.

Philosophy for 2009

"If you land someplace awesome, it doesn't matter if you jump the shark" - X-Entertainment's Matt Caracappa

HAPPY NEW YEAR!