"D&D" @ Engadine, with TC and LPO

Time to find out whether my Dungeon Mastering muscles have atrophied after years as a player.

Waratahs vs Highlanders @ SFS, with PB and 19,490 others

A brutal clash in which their sword and shield were no match for our net, trident and crafty tactics - 34-16.

Evacuation via stairwell @ Civic Tower, with everyone

It was a false alarm caused by burning toast on level 25.

"UFC 2009 Undisputed" party @ Ultimo, with SC, CM, BC, etc.

Should I ask if Fedor Emelianenko is a "hidden" character?

Overtime @ the office, with electrohum

A life in front of the boob tube has culminated in my becoming temporary caretaker of our TV column :-)

"Watchmen" @ GMAX 2, with critics

I haven't seen a genre flick this skilfully constructed since "The Lord Of The Rings".

The Bloodhound Gang @ The Metro, with SC

I hope the roof doesn't catch fire.

100 games of solitaire

The theme decks for the "Magic: The Gathering" expansion "Eventide" ranked from best to worst based on a century of duels conducted over several weeks.

1st: Superabundance (U/G) - 24 games
2nd: Battle Blitz (R/W) - 21 games
3rd: Sidestep (U/R) - 20 games
4th: Death March (B/G) - 20 games (lost on countback due to 6-4 defeat by Sidestep)
5th: Life Drain (B/W) - 15 games

These lists and the additional rules for "Eventide" are available online, so I'll simply make a couple of general observations. Drawing seems a greater advantage than ever and winning when you don't is akin to breaking serve in tennis. A significant number of the battles were decided by who got a bicolour enchantment on a bicolour beastie and kept the combo alive and attacking. A broken example:

Belligerent Hatchling
Cost: R or W, plus 3 colourless (counts as R AND W card)
First Strike
6/6
Comes into play with 4 -1/-1 counters, but you remove one every time you cast a R or W spell.

+

Scourge Of The Nobilis
Cost: R or W, plus 2 colourless (counts as R AND W card)
Enchant creature
If creature is R, it gains +1/+1 and is pumpable in power (1:1 ratio).
If creature is W, it gains +1/+1 and has lifelink (equivalent to Spirit Link).

=

Probable 8/8 critter that savages their life total while boosting yours.

Now that mastodon ("It's not a mammoth!") undertaking is complete, I can begin testing the "Jace Vs Chandra" duel decks...


Listening: Another of CS's unwanteds - "Off With Their Heads" (2008) by Kaiser Chiefs. Brit indie rock that triggers a multitude of positive associations for me, including The Beatles, The Jam, XTC, Echo & The Bunnymen and current mobs like Arctic Monkeys and Hard-Fi. "Never Miss A Beat" is the big hit if you wanna investigate (mad clip).

Reading: "Strange Country: Travels In A Very Different Australia" (2008) by Mark Dapin. In a previous existence, I vaguely knew and didn't mind Mr D., who was a mate of mates I boozed with. These journalistic encounters of the odd kind are elegantly told and insightful, amusing if slightly worrying, and enough to make any hack with delusions of authordom envious.

Celebrating: The 150th anniversary of my suburb, with a council-organised party in the park. Festivities were fading when I lobbed, but the funk band was decent. Besides the music, the primary attractions for adults seemed to be "green" info/products and alternative greasy grub. As I admired a board full of old photographs, a lass with pale blue eyes spruiked the local historical society. Except I could barely hear her, so I nodded and smiled and she gave me flyers for a lecture and a walking tour.

Disbelieving: That the Victorian Bushrangers, chasing 188 for victory over the Queensland Bulls in the Ford Ranger Cup final, went from 2/84 and cruising in the 21st over to being skittled for 175 in the 48th. Carton of eggs, meet hammer. Riveting viewing for a neutral, though.

Sluggish

Such is my abiding passion for college drama "Greek" that I have an official "Dobler's"* XL ringer tee en route from Yankland. FOX8 finished broadcasting the first series on Thursday and I was stoked to discover a heap of the second on YouTube. Sure, the episodes are chopped into five parts and defaced with a URL, but spurning them for those reasons would be like kicking Bar Refaeli out of bed for eating crackers.


Also watching: "The Agatha Christie Code" (2005); "The Girl Who Leapt Through Time" (2006); "Code Monkeys" (2007) season one extras. Thanks, CS and DL!

From The Chocolatier's briefcase: Lindt Pistache.


*Fictional watering hole patronised by the students and presumably named after Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack) from the seminal 1989 teen fillum "Say Anything...".

"Well, my name's John Lee Pettimore..."

Half-cut and loathe to watch Waratahs vs Chiefs on my lonesome, I foisted myself on PB and saw it with him and top fella D. at Albert's in North Sydney, where I also developed a liking for West Indian cricketer Viv Richards' professed fave tipple: Mount Gay Rum and dry. From there, we migrated to The Oaks in Neutral Bay, collecting PB's good lady wife VB and their friend M. along the way. At some point, we wisely switched to imbibing dihydrogen monoxide and split a few delicious pizzas. More rugger was viddied, I struggled to co-ordinate a pool cue, and I suspect I bugged all and sundry by playing Steve Earle's "Copperhead Road" on the jukebox and loudly singing along. Twice. Doubtless I woulda continued repeating the offence if the pub hadn't shut. The 'Tahs won 11-7, by the way, which is the important thing.

Holy mackerel!

Caught up with PB for yakizakana at Sakae, then "Dean Spanley", a masterful piece of mannered storytelling, at Greater Union.


Reading: "NGamer #31". Fresh off the slow boat from Blighty :-)

Listening: "Hefty Fine" (2005) by The Bloodhound Gang - ta, SC.

A what in the what?

"A Pain In The Arse". It's a new French farce*, set mostly in adjoining hotel rooms, in which the comedy is of the physically violent kind. An assassin on a crucial assignment rescues a suicidal bloke who turns out to be the most annoyingly persistent and troublesome fellow imaginable. Trust me, I've just had an advance viewing and wanted to throttle him.


*Er...that is to say, the third cinematic adaptation of a play from the early '70s.

It's easy to be wise about other people

Lunched at Anan, a relatively recent arrival in World Square. Entree: grilled pork balls with lettuce, carrot, bean sprouts, spring onions, fried peanuts and a sour dipping sauce. Main: shredded duck fried rice with prawns, egg and various greens. Delicate flavours like Vietnamese mint and lemongrass left me with a pleasantly complex aftertaste. I dug the atmosphere, too - the happy bustle of a marketplace.


Reading: "Behind The Bestsellers" (2007) by Jenny Bond and Chris Sheedy. The repetitious writing irks me, but there's no denying the fascinating origins of the 50 tomes (40 fiction, 10 n-f) selected.

Streaming: Season two of "The Guild".

At least the food was good :-)

Made a flying visit to my sister's place for a minestrone-ish Jamie Oliver soup and fresh sourdough bread. Always nice to see her, VK and CK. Then rushed to mine to record "Underbelly: A Tale Of Two Cities" for screen-grabbing purposes. The bloody Foxtel box chose this moment to misbehave and interfere with the signal - don't think we'll be getting a lot from that disc. When the program had ended, I hard reset the unit and crystal clarity was instantly restored. Arrrgh! Technology is evil! Smash the looms! Gotta quit typing this twaddle and expertly evaluate "Futurama: Into The Wild Green Yonder" (2009), so I can (a) review it in our DVDs section, and (b) return the loaner copy to the PR firm.

It doesn't get any closer

Went to my first live Twenty20 cricket match and sat in the SCG's brand-new-boogaloo-flu Victor Trumper* Stand (formerly the Doug Walters Stand and Yabba's Hill). True to the format, it was an exciting spectacle - the Kiwis slogging the final delivery for six to fall a run shy of our total of 150. Adam Voges took an astonishing catch for us where he realised he was gonna carry the ball over the boundary rope but had the nous to throw it straight up in the air. He stepped across the line, stepped back, stumbled, dived forward and regathered. Equally miraculous was the fact the blanket of grey clouds waited until sporting matters were settled before unloading. By the time I joined the bus queue, it was absolutely pouring.


Missing: My DS stylus. Rolled down the back of an armchair and through an inter-universe wormhole. Luckily, I had a spare, courtesy of a PG parcel from yonks ago.

Reading: "Hyper #185".


*Not familiar with VT? I urge you to Google "The Boy Who Killed The Dove" by Arthur Mailey.

Annie May

There wasn't a patch of snow on the ground, but the sky was what Simon and Garfunkel would call a hazy shade of winter*, so I hibernated with some anime. Episodes 1a-3b of "Ninja Nonsense: The Legend Of Shinobu" (2004) and eps 1-4 of the classic "Yawara!" (1989), both original DVDs given to me by RS, plus eps 1-4 of "Welcome To The NHK" (2006) via YouTube. The last is different again to the manga and book - probably better, if the 20 subsequent episodes maintain the improved pacing.


Also enjoying: The Waratahs starting the Super 14 season with a semi-convincing win versus the dangerous Hurricanes in Wellington. The 37th Country Music Awards of Australia and Catherine Britt collecting Female Artist Of The Year.

Reading: "NGamer #30".


*Yes, in summer. Stupid post-modern weather.

Korean consulate

AZ and I took a circuitous, rainy route to Doorae, where we shared spicy octopus, teriyaki chicken, silky tofu stew, rice and all the usual sides such as kimchi. I guzzled OB Lager (it stands for Oriental Brewery, not Old Bastard), while she sipped a "gentle" tea. We discussed shoes, ships, sealing wax, cabbages, kings, why the sea is boiling hot, whether pigs have wings, etc. Afterwards, we procured provisions at Coles 'cos their profits for today are going to the Victorian Bushfire Appeal. Apologies to the ghost of Lewis Carroll.

French embassy

I hear the $10 "600-day grain fed" wagyu beef burgers at Plan B, an offshoot of fine Frog restaurant Becasse, may soon be exported to mighty Odin's table in Valhalla. Toasted bun, a little lettuce, a little more beetroot, melted cheese and one of the tastiest (Viking-sized) patties I've eaten. Foodie blog Grab Your Fork, which clued me in to these hidden treasures, listed caramelised onions in the ingredients. Have to say I didn’t detect the presence of those. I was too busy finishing my first burger and reaching for my second.

Euro bureau

I'm off to Sony Pictures HQ to peak sneakily at French movie "Paris 36", which judging by the invite is a tribute to the music-hall era.

Beastliness

Though hardly a stoic, I never expected an automotive documentary to bring my tear ducts online. But "Love The Beast", detailing actor Eric Bana's quarter-century affair with a 1974 Ford XB Coupe, is as moving as it is singularly beaut. I was fortunate to attend a preview organised by the distributor, Madman. The official cinema release date for the flick is March 12 and I unreservedly recommend it.


Not a "Doctor Who" novel: "Uglier Than A Monkey's Armpit" (2007) by Dr Robert Vanderplank and Stephen Dodson - underline: "The best curses, put-downs and invective from around the world."

Even-Steven: The Socceroos held the Blue Samurai to a goaless draw in Yokohama and are thus still top of Asia - Group 1 in the qualifiers for South Africa 2010. So tense I could barely watch!

The horses I'm wishing for

As I approach a decade of doing essentially the same repetitive task, ie. subediting, the desire for life-change is strong. A trio of theoretically feasible options present themselves:

1. Enter the public service and, ideally, transfer to Canberra.
2. Teach ESL locally or in Japan or Korea. (Age may be a prohibitive factor here.)
3. Begin a law degree at UTS, studying part-time in the evenings.

While the third scenario requires me to remain in my current role, the added mental stimulus would hopefully balance out the 9-to-5 ennui. If I could stay the seven-year course, I'd be an old man...but an old man with a career alternative!

Process of lamination

Ensure your poster isn't wider than 84cm or it won't fit into the machine. Then lug it to FedEx Kinko's, sign a waiver (there's a miniscule chance they'll botch the job) and specify whether you want a gloss or matt finish. If things aren't too hectic, they'll laminate it while ya wait. Otherwise, give 'em a few hours. It won't cost much – the Liverpool St branch charged me $10.75 to have a souvenir from the 2005 Oasis world tour protected for poster-ity. Next, go to your kitchen "useful drawer" and grab the packet of Blu-Tack...

Relapse

So I'm conquering "Puzzle Quest: Challenge Of The Warlords" (2006), the Nintendo DS equivalent of crack cocaine, again - at speed. As a petite, manga-style druidess rather than a burly, manga-style knight. Skipping the story and ignoring the shops, citadel building, enemy capturing, mount training, item forging and besieging of cities (who wants an empire, anyway?). Allowing my character only equipment from the spoils of combat. In other words, reducing the game to its gem-matching puzzler essence. Have already passed level 12.


Also playing: "Hot Pixel" (2007) on Sony PSP. Atari's take on "Wario Ware", with a goofy street vibe. Had for the trifling sum of $9.81 from Electronics Boutique.

Australia 5 - England 4

That was the final score in the Hyundai car soccer after extra time. What am I talking about, Willis? "Top Gear" Live at the Acer Arena, starring Jeremy Clarkson and Richard Hammond, with Steve Pizzati subbing for James May.

Without further ado, here's the complete list of SPOILERS (in roughly chronological order):

* A mini motor show outside the venue and in the foyer
* Theatrical adverts for various sponsors
* Pyrotechnics and great jets of flame
* Introduction featuring lots of rude, non-PC jokes, mostly at the absent JM's expense
* Precision driving/parking (Alfas)
* Competition to assemble and race tiny vehicles, eg. a go-kart suitcase
* Stunt cyclist repeatedly bunny-hopping a prone SP
* The Colander Of Death (four motorbikes defying gravity inside a spherical cage)
* Human tenpin (skittles, crash helmet, stearable shopping trolley...Ford)
* Duel: incredible kung-fu chick with staff vs Holden
* The Cool Wall as determined by audience vote
* Drum solo using junkyard kit allegedly built from autos wrecked by "Top Gear Oz"
* Soccer game
* Precision drifting (Ferraris)
* Computerised lap of "T/G" track - more crowd participation
* The Stig in a Lotus evading the fire from a 3D animation of a gunship (they gave us special glasses)

With the banter, explanations, vox pops and video clips, that was 90 minutes (not counting the ads) and thousands of happy - if slightly weirded out - revheads were on the road home.

Poker at BW's in Greenwich

Due to unexpected cancellations, there were only half a dozen of us gathered around the hallowed green felt: BW, DL, AP, CM, AM and me.

$20 Texas Hold 'Em tourney results: 1st - CM, 2nd - Addster, 3rd - AM.

We then played two revolutions of "dealer's choice", which saw me squander $13, for a net profit of $7. Where'd I put those fireworks?

The doctor is [IN]

How would a psychologist interpret the previous blog entry, I wonder? "Subject relies on alcohol to overcome the stress of social situations in the short term, but inevitably regresses to escapism and comfort food"? There's truth to that.

About last night

Lunchtime drinks ("first to five") at the Mac begat post-work birthday drinks for NP at the Civic and no dinner, which ultimately led to a pilgrimage to one of those Darling Harbour nightclubs with AH, DP and three pretty ladies. Except our group got separated. Then, while contact was being re-established, it suddenly occurred to me that I was over my limit, exhausted and there was a taxi parked 10 feet away... Awaking at midday in a sweaty heap on the lounge, The History Channel broadcasting in the background, I was surprised to find myself relatively unscathed.


Studying: "D&D 4E" module "Menace Of The Icy Spire", which I shall be running.

Adoring: Lindt Pear Intense dark chocolate with slivers of pear and almond.

Bashing heads and ditching threads

I fancy I know a fair whack about the realities of professional wrestling (through my friendship with DL) and of strip clubs and exotic dancers (thanks to a misspent...um, late 20s/early 30s). "The Wrestler" nails these topics like an angry yeti with a steamhammer. Mickey Rourke's performance as Randy "The Ram" Robinson is MAGNIFICENT. I will certainly purchase this film on DVD. PS. Did you notice RR drives a Dodge *Ram* panel van?

That bus driver was a jerk

He didn't make eye contact as I got on, just stuck his hand out and continued reading whatever he was reading. A timetable maybe.

"City, please," I said, placing a $5 note in his palm.

"City, eh?" was his meaningless response.

I held out my hand for my ticket and change – and watched incredulously as he dumped them straight onto floor. Again, he wasn't even looking.

I retrieved the stub, plus the $1 and 50c coins that had rolled down the stairs. Couldn't spot the smaller silver and everyone was staring, so I proceeded towards the rear of the standing-room-only bus.

Then I realise the guy is holding up the other boarding passengers and yelling out to me: "Hey, mate, you forgot the rest of your money!" He must have seen where it landed (about the only thing he did see).

"Don't worry about it," I called back. And I'm thinking, "Haven't you embarrassed me enough, ya jerk?"

Must remember to buy a weekly ticket at lunch.

Hours of fun

www.sleeveface.com


Watching: "Mary And Max" - previewed with CM.

Just browsing

There's a small Metropolitan Museum Of Art Store on the top floor of the Queen Victoria Building. Its wares either replicate or feature the likenesses of items from the New York institution's presumably vast collection. The majority are ornaments or jewellery/watches, which is fine if you're a Russian oil magnate. Those searching for an affordable, classy gift that the recipient won't have clocked before (unless they've visited the Met) will find some nice gear in the stationery section.


Watching: "Last Chance Harvey" - CS and I caught a media screening; "Affliction: Day Of Reckoning" - ta for the disc, GH.

Goodness

As good as it was sampling sizzlin' steak nigiri and chuckling through the above average rom-com "Ghost Town" with CM, AM and PB, the fourth quarter of Super Bowl XLIII immediately followed by Olivia Munn's French maid-costumed dive into a giganto-pie was gooder :-)

C'mon, Aussies...

Fresh from our deserved thrashing by the cricketers from RSA, we drop the opening one-dayer against a plucky NZ. I'm already hating this "rebuilding phase".

Ms Peterson

There was another "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" reference in this week's "Greek". As Dean Bowman (Alan Ruck) exited his car to speak to Cappie, he turned to the brunette babe in the passenger seat and apologised, "Excuse me, Sloane".

Nostradamus

Lo, it was as I foretold: St-Pierre defeated Penn by TKO after four rounds. Curiously for an MMA card, no matches ended with a submission - in fact, 8/10 were "left in the hands of the judges".


Watching: Six-ep stand-up/skit series "Is It Bill Bailey?" (1998) - ta, PG.

Reading: "Westside 08: Loneliness & The Cure Thereof" fanzine; "Doctor Who: The Doctor Trap" (2008) by Simon Messingham.

Listening: "Hooray For Boobies" (1999) by The Bloodhound Gang - ta, SC; humorous religious memoir "Letting Go Of God" (2006) by Julia Sweeney - ta, DQ.

Hurting: My thumbnail. Almost ripped the frigger off. That hasn't happened since sis slammed the door of Dad's Mini onto it when we woz tykes :-)