Years have passed

When it came to appraising literature, BP had a jeweller's eye. It was his high valuation that led to me reading "Santiago" (1986), in which outer space is the ultimate wild frontier populated by a gallery of alien rogues, and thus converted me to author Mike Resnick's masterful myth-making. Now, as I turn the pages of "The Return Of Santiago" (2003), a recent gleeful discovery at Galaxy, it's like reconnecting with two old friends. I raise my glass of English ale to you, BP, wherever you are and whatever you're doing. Maybe one day I'll learn the rest of your story.

That's gold!

When Danny Buderus ruptured his bicep in our win against the North Queensland Cowboys last Saturday, pundits declared the Newcastle Knights' season to be over. Lo and behold, we just upset defending premiers the Melbourne Storm - 17-16. Tremendous effort, fellas. It felt like a grand final.

Web game "Sunny Day Sky" is as addictive as it is graphically and sonically sweet. Click to open your umbrella and take to the air. Click again to drop onto the roof of a car and replenish your energy. Hit the fruit, don't hit the birds or the road. You'll soon realise a "flapping" rhythm is the way to go.

www.ferryhalim.com/orisinal/g3/sunny.htm

Bits'n'bobs

From soccer to succour... After the Newcastle Jets' 5-0 mauling by Melbourne Victory in the A-League, it was comforting to see Randwick trounce local rivals Easts, the supposed form team of the Shute Shield, by 34-17.

Bill Bailey fanatics: Don't miss the oddball Pommy comedian's appearance on "Enough Rope With Andrew Denton" - this coming Monday, 9.35pm on ABC1.

So I conquered "Fighting Fantasy" gamebook #29 (Wizard numbering system), "Howl Of The Werewolf", on my second attempt. I'd be amazed if anyone aced it on their first. Excepting the head honcho, the monsters are relatively weak, but you need to scour each location for items in order to avoid the auto-deaths and eventually reach entry #515. Things that set it apart from other "F/F" titles: your character begins with lower than normal skill and stamina scores; you accrue unwanted "change points" and gain useful lycanthropic powers during the adventure; and one tricky subquest involves an "alarm rating".

Counting my blessings

Season two of "Torchwood", which I'm hurtling through like a modified black Range Rover with silly blue lights along the sides of the windscreen. The still brill "Burnout 3: Takedown" on Xbox - 100% completion remains a life goal. The U/G and R/W "Eventide" theme decks for "M:TG", even though one keeps winning with the SAME DAMN ENCHANTMENT. Cracking a booster of "Pirates Of The Cursed Seas: Rise Of The Fiends" and jagging a scorpion ship with moveable stinger. The book on tape of historical study "Trafalgar: The Men, The Battle, The Storm" (2004) by Tim Clayton and Phil Craig. Series three of "Great British Menu" (now with regional qualifying rounds) on the LifeStyle Food channel every night. The "Dungeons & Dragons: Tiny Adventures" application for Facebook - Band-Aid the human cleric is a whisker away from 4th level. Digging the characters/situations of "Hellboy II: The Golden Army" almost as much as I did those of the original. The first "Fables" spin-off graphic novel, "Jack Of Fables: The (Nearly) Great Escape", hunted and gathered at last. Reaching episode #1152 and becoming officially up to date with soap opera masquerading as a web comic "MegaTokyo". Subway's new red chilli honey chicken sub is adequate. The Swedish-style microsalad, woodfired pizza and mudcake at Sven's Viking Pizza, Bondi Junction are divine.

It's been a dorky, geeky, nerdy week :-)

Movie review: "The Tender Hook" (2008)

The gist: In 1920s Sydney, McHeath (Hugo Weaving) is an underworld boss whose cultured exterior hides a vicious and vindictive nature, Iris (Rose Byrne) is his savvy, faithful-when-it-suits-her moll and Art Walker (Matthew Le Nevez) is an aspiring boxer who shouldn't have got mixed up with either of them.

Selling points: Captures the era through a clever use of fashion and file footage. Some quirky details such as the old pearler with his fortune sewn under his skin. Shows the dark side of boxing at the time, where Art is promoted ahead of a superior Aboriginal fighter because crowds wanna see a white champ.

It's kinda like: To me, it felt like any number of Aussie TV miniseries – though the cinematography here is well above average. We've seen HW play a villain before (eg. in the "Matrix" trilogy), but not one who croons jazz choons. Pia Miranda also surprises as flesh-flashing party girl Daisy.

Final word: Could be a contender.

[Australian cinema release date: September 18]

Like I was never gone?

Fully sick, mate

For the past four days, I've been laid low with a horrid cold. I won't bore you with the symptoms. Did a lot of serious thinking. Back to work on the morrow.

The invisible (gentle)man

Saw an episode of "Antiques Roadshow" where a lady brought in a clear glass bowler hat. The expert declared it to be from 1870s Sunderland and enquired if there was a matching clear glass walking stick. Yes, originally, but it had been lost or broken long ago. No gloves?

Tapez not dead

When I wasn't feeling up to anything but lying in the dark, I listened to a couple more super-cheap audiobooks: "An Auctioneer's Lot" (2005) and "Sold To The Man With The Tin Leg" (2006), both written and read by Philip Serrell. As any fule kno, PS is one of the experts who assist the teams of amateurs in purchasing their antiques on TV's "Bargain Hunt". He spins a fine yarn.

Flipper

"Top Gear's Midlife Crisis Cars" (2008) by Matt Master is a hoot (if you get all the Brit gags). Scathing summaries accompanied by period advertising pics. Something about the crappy Opel Manta speaks to me. Moving on... For the fifth novel in a series, Roger Zelazny's "The Courts Of Chaos" (1978) feels amazingly fresh. And Mark Michalowski's "Doctor Who: Wetworld" (2007) makes a decent dunny read.

Japanese technology

I just ate a Kit Kat flavoured with red bean paste - the kind of sickly sweet treat that immediately makes you wanna drink a glass of water. Worth a try, though.

New linky dink

Sarah Silverman Online tracks the career of everybody's favourite foul-mouthed comedienne. Well, she's my fave, anyway. SSO reguarly features videos of Sarah's latest material.

An elegant variation

I dream of a word processor that comes with a word frequency feature as standard. Loading or pasting every piece of text into a specialised program? No thanks.

Movie review: "The First Saturday In May" (2007)

The gist: The race that stops the nation of America is the Kentucky Derby, in which the 20 top-earning three-year-old thoroughbreds compete over 1.25 miles on the dirt (sometimes mud) track at Churchill Downs. This documentary focuses on six trainers trying to get runners into the 2006 event. Once we see which horses qualify through the lead-up Stakes races, it's time to find out how they go in the Derby...

Selling points: Careers, crowds, fame, family, favourites, heartbreak, history, injury, jockeys, jubilation, longshots, money, preparation, rivalry, sheikhs, tactics, tradition. Text boxes pop up throughout the fillum to fill in the who, what, where, when and why, but they aren't intrusive.

It's kinda like: "Spellbound" and "Word Wars", another two emotionally engaging docos that give insider views into famous US contests (the National Spelling Bee and "Scrabble" Championship, respectively). One laconic trainer and his precocious son remind me of Hank and Bobby from "King Of The Hill".

Final word: Younger than the Melbourne Cup, but just as exciting.

[Australian DVD release date: November 6]

Depressionist film

If you only avoid one unrelentingly traumatic flick this year, avoid "Towelhead". Yes, there are despicable adults who abuse their authority over children, then convince themselves the cruelty was warranted, but who wants to see such horrible behaviour repeated over and over on screen? I understand that the viewer's helpless, confused, angry situation reflects that of the young girl in the movie, but I don't think that's a worthwhile reason to subject yourself to it. I walked away thinking that in depicting the multiple contradictions inherent in society, "Towelhead" had blurred its important themes of burgeoning sexuality, selective racism and conflicting attitudes to war.

Two dos

DL, LA and I attended the Sydney "SummerSlam" Viewing Party in the Hotel CBD's sports bar. It was a well-run affair. The WWE pay-per-view was on multiple tellies and the overall card was excellent. The room was decorated with beachy props (eg. lifeguard chair, surfboards). There was a fake WWE Diva handing out goodie bags. You could play an Xbox 360 wrestling game. Or you could do what we did and gorge yourself on the free beer and greasy snacks, crack jokes ("Batistan Standard Time!"), not win the cool prizes being raffled by a Triple M(?) DJ, pose for silly photos and grow increasingly rowdy as the main event – a "Hell In The Cell" match between Edge and The Undertaker – approached.

Outside, we saw LA to a taxi, then skedaddled to the Minx Bar (which neither of us had ever visited) to meet CM and AM for an official "Penthouse" party. We arrived in time for the third, final and, reportedly, best of the special guest Pets: a babe named Suzie Q. She did an amazing routine involving a hoop suspended from the ceiling. Man, could she flip/hang/spin! Sipping more gratis grog as we reclined in leather lounges, we were also treated to thread-shedding by a few of the house strippers. As is always the case with gentlemen's clubs (and BS will be back me up on this), there was an aloof waitress who was hotter than any of the dancers. It was with some regret I upped stumps before midnight.

Rolled

Experiencing a massive craving for spring rolls, I ordered a plate of four from a Chinese eatery in Market City. As my tongue lolled, said items were retrieved from the freezer, microwaved, deep-fried, shaken to remove excess oil, halved with diagonal cuts of a cleaver, then arranged in a circle on a paper doily on a fancy plate. They looked fantastic – crisp and golden. So keen was I to revisit the classic flavour, I declined the available sauces. This may have been a mistake, because what I bit into wasn't anything like the appetiser I know. The filling was white, chewy and if I had to guess the main ingredient, I'd say offal. The so-called spring rolls tasted OK in their way – Anthony Bourdain probably would've adored them – while at the same time being a culinary abomination. What's worse, I still have the blasted craving!

Life's great mysteries #133

Why is it that so many kitchenhands/cooks/chefs smoke cigarettes? It seems like every second restaurant I walk past, there's someone in a white top and check pants hovering nearby - just out of sight of the patrons - having what m'colleague AH would refer to as a "lung buster". I hope they wash those yellow fingers before sticking 'em in my salad!


Closure: Yay Reds! Bad luck, Knights. Yay Colts!

Satisfaction AND my money back

Did my tax. Fairly straightforward. The only drama was discovering the cheap batteries in my cheap imitation of a Casio calculator had leaked, corroding away one of the contacts. Had to use Google's built-in calc instead. Lodged the details by phone. Robolady told me to expect a return in the high hundreds.


Another result: Despite having several kicks charged down or go wide - the announcers blamed the "swirling breeze" at Newlands - the New Zealanders kept the South Africans scoreless.
Renewed faith: After watching the NFL doco "Next Man Up: The Story Of The 2007 Indianapolis Colts", I'm more positive about what we achieved last season and our chances in 2008.

Fun is tiring

Turns out my sport spectating schedule wasn't too full to accommodate a bon voyage bender for my workmate KR and her gal pal C., who are heading o/s for two months. Team Drunkard was them, me, SC, RS2 and JA. We began at a pub with no food, shifted to a pub with food, ritually murdered pop songs at an over-crowded, over-priced karaoke bar (apple vodka is vile!), then got our dance on at a club that might have been gay, followed by a club that was overtly gay. By the end, it was just me, the girls and some random dude. Between 3 and 4am, I bid KR and C. farewell and grabbed a cab. I just don't have the energy of a 22-year-old. My "moment" of the night was paying for a cute French chick in a white singlet to check her coat at club #2, because she didn't have any coins. When I handed over my jacket, the cloak room attendant noticed the paperback in the pocket. "I was reading that earlier," I said, "because I'm a nerd." Mademoiselle, in *that* accent: "I don't zink it's ner-day - I zink it's coool." I should have pledged my undying love to her there and then :-)

Evolution: "Sealab 2021" (Season Three)
Fresh fruit: Watermelon Kit Kats from sis AC
Best "Futurama" episode ever: "Raiders Of The Lost Arcade"
Results so far: Jets drew 1-1 (I caught the replay), Randwick won comfortably, Swans losing...

Commanding presents

The much-loved 1988 action-strategy game "Carrier Command" lives again! I know this because my friends PG and DG are two of the mover-shakers behind the project. Check out www.carriercommand.com, and order a copy of their seriously beaut (and directly connected) sci-fi novel while yer at it.

I can't, sorry. I'm busy this weekend

Tonight: The new A-League season kicks off with the "F3 Derby" and grand final replay between my Newcastle United Jets and the Central Coast Mariners (Fox Sports 3).

Tomorrow arvo: My Randwick Galloping Greens will attempt to do the double over Northern Suburbs (Coogee Oval). With two tough games to follow before the finals, we need maximum points here.

Tamara Knight: It starts with my Sydney Swans taking on reigning champs and comp leaders the Geelong Cats (Ten). Then I'll be hoping the Springboks and All Blacks decimate each other's ranks in their Tri Nations clash (FS1).

Ridiculously early Sunday morning: The English Premier League is back on and my rejigged Liverpool Reds *should* do the business away at Sunderland (FS3).

Sunday arvo: Both teams are coming off impressive wins, but can my Newie Knights overcome the Canberra Raiders on their cold, hard home ground (FS2)?

After that: I'll be jumping online to see if my Indianapolis Colts can manage their first pre-season victory, this time @ Atlanta Falcons, as they say (Intarwebs).

Shooting rabbits

Saw "In Bruges", a moving tale of London Irish hitmen hiding out in the Belgian city after a botched job. Brendan Gleeson as the veteran killer, Colin Farrell as his rookie charge and Ralph Fiennes as their demented boss were all brill. But you'll hear no more from me on the subject as CS has bagsed reviewing it for the mag. Tonight's screening, "The House Bunny", is an alleged comedy about a "Playboy" Playmate forced to cohabit with a septet of sorority girls in danger of – gasp! – losing their home. No doubt the promised "partial nudity" will endear it to our readership :-)


Play all: "Sealab 2021" (Season Two). Ta for the DVDs, PG.
Current CMC fave: "You're Gonna Miss This" – Trace Adkins

Movie review: "Son Of Rambow" (2007)

The gist: It's the early '80s and two Pommy students have been turfed out of class: one for misbehaving, the other 'cos his religion doesn't permit him to watch TV. Soon, the tearaway and the dreamer will become unlikely mates and a pirate video of "First Blood" will lead 'em to film their own epic actioner.

Selling points: All-ages comedy that doesn't descend into schmaltz, although the boys' initial stunts give the false impression they're as indestructible as cartoon characters.

It's kinda like: The stereotypes of a teen drama (tough older brother, cool exchange student, gaggle of Mean Girls, etc.) crossed with the social conscience of an indie flick (neglected kid versus overly sheltered kid)...crossed with "Rambo".

Final word: This Little Johnny joke's actually funny.

[Australian cinema release date: September 4]

Dob, dob, dob

When I was a wee lad of three or four, I had pocket-sized Ladybird hardcovers about Scouts and English police. I think I confused the two, because I pretended to be one of the former by wearing an ice-cream container on my head (a bobby's helmet?) and carrying an old red shoulderbag of Mum's as a rucksack. As I grew older, I lost the comical accoutrements but retained my desire to enlist in Baden-Powell's brigade. In the town where I lived 'til the age of nine, there was a Sea Scout troop. I recall my father, who ran away to sea as a teenager, being keen for me to go. I refused. In my mind, all that messing about on the river meant they weren't The Real Thing. Our next community had traditional Scouts. However, by the time I was made aware of their existence – by my adventurous older friend AS – I was already committed to playing squash three days per week. My parents, who could only drive us to so many after-school activities, said if I gave that up I was welcome to try Scouting. Obviously, the attraction of a sport where the kid with the fastest serve usually won, sausage rolls were peeled prior to consumption, everything smelt like Staminade and it was our pleasure to mop the floors during A-grade comps, was too strong. I wonder if I woulda been a more resourceful, well-rounded person today had I not been so prejudiced against seafaring and so committed to slogging a black rubber ball. Maybe I should just join the English police.

Big audiobook dynamite

Basement Books under Railway Square is chockers with bargains. Like the tape version of Melvyn Bragg's "12 Books That Changed The World" (2006), which I enjoyed as much as the TV series, and Nicholas Briggs' double CD "The Dalek Conquests" (also '06), which I've just started. Cost me roughly a tenner for the pair. If you're Sydney-based and into "Doctor Who", they have a fair chunk of the BBC audio range – both classic stories and new novels.

Movie review: "The Last Winter" (2006)

The gist: In the remote Arctic, company man Ed Pollack (Ron Perlman) leads an investigation into the feasibility of drilling for oil and piping it back to The States. But when weather conditions and team members begin going loopy, environmental advisor James Hoffman (James Legros) urges Ed to abandon the project.

Selling points: Slow-build psychological horror fuelled by eco concerns, physical and mental isolation, and nature turning nasty. Stunning landscapes filmed in Alaska and Iceland. A painfully close-quarters love triangle between Ed, James and Abbie Sellers (Connie Britton).

It's kinda like: "The Thing", "The Shining" and "The Happening", but not to be confused with terrific Aussie rugby league drama "The Final Winter". Before you rush out to hire it, be aware: the setting *is* the horror. For that reason, critics are divided as to whether it succeeds as a sustained mood piece or is ruined by a "nothing" ending.

Final word: Polarising.

[Australian DVD release dates: August 26 (rental), December 4 (retail)]

Unfinished draft from 10.33pm, May 8, 2007

Stumbled on this forgotten lore by accident yesterday. Publishing it for the novelty value rather than any astounding insights it may contain :-)

--

"Grave misgivings"

Simcha Jacobovici's "The Lost Tomb Of Jesus" is an intriguing and compelling documentary that's also frustrating and unconvincing...

In 1980, in Jerusalem's Talpiot neighbourhood, builders blasting away at a hillside uncovered a 2000-year-old tomb. Keen to continue work, they allowed a team of archaeologists only three days to excavate it.

The burial chamber was mapped and found to contain 10 ossuaries (limestone coffins), six of which were inscribed. The discovery wasn't widely publicised and the relics were stored away by the Israel Antiquities Authority (IAA).

The tomb was reburied and an apartment compex built on top.

What seems to have attracted Jacobovici's interest years later is that one of the ossuaries is inscribed "Jesus son of Joseph".

He reasons that - following Jewish custom - the corpse of Jesus might have been secretly transferred to a family tomb, where it would have been left to decompose for a year before his bones were placed in an ossuary, his name carved on the outside and the vessel sealed in a niche. (He notes the rumour mentioned in the Gospel Of Matthew that the disciples moved the body of Jesus.)

The burden of proof thus falls on Jacobovici to connect the other ossuaries to Jesus.

Ossuary number two is promising - it is inscribed "Maria". Simcha argues that as Mary carried on her son's teachings after his death, her name may have become Latinised by her Roman converts.

The third, which reads "Matthew", is problematic. Here, the film-maker points to Mary's lineage, which contains five or six similar names. The implication is that one more wouldn't be surprising.

...

Evidence:
Right general time period - ossuaries were only popular for about a century.
There are eyewitnesses to tomb's discovery and photographs were taken.
Talpiot is halfway between Jerusalem and Bethlehem.

Problems:
The inscriptions are very informal - almost like graffiti.
All of the names on the ossuaries were common at the time.

Happiness is...

Italian Dreher beer (on sale for $9 a sixpack), gourmet chicken pizza, new Smith's Gravy Crisps* (aka "The People's Chip" of comedians Hamish & Andy), new Cadbury Creme Brulee Chocolate, MMA PPV "UFC #87: Seek And Destroy" and spending time with family (AK, VK and CK).


*Not suitable for vegetarians - beef fat is an ingredient.

Everything's eventual

* "The Hand Of Oberon" (1976) by Roger Zelazny. Fourth in the "Corwin Cycle" of the Chronicles Of Amber. Science fantasy that's blowing my mind - imagine what it must've been like in the '70s!

* Constant craving: pistachio nuts

* "Wake The Sleeper" (2008) - Uriah Heep. As a rule, I give CDs three proper listens before making my pompous pronouncements. This uninspiring pile of scrap metal won't be getting a fourth.

* Might-see viewing: "SlamBall" (starts in September)

* The DS RPG "Shiren The Wanderer" is for masochists only. Die and you revert to level one with no equipment. Which is why I traded my copy for the ace PSP puzzle shooter "Every Extend Extra". You don't shoot as such. The object is to self-destruct and fry sufficient enemies to earn back the ship. This is a game where you want the baddies to come thicker and faster in order to bolster your chain reactions. So far, I've made it to the boss at the end of the fifth stage. Trippy graphics and music contribute to the synesthetic experience.

The fall of Galsone

Until recently, no-one on the Japanese women's competitive eating circuit could touch skinny, bleach-blonde kogal Galsone. More concerned with primping and posing for the camera, she made the speed-feeding seem effortless - a literal giggle. But watching the latest televised competition recorded for me by my sis, it's obvious the frontrunner has been caught by the pack. Galsone didn't win a single event, broke down in tears at one point and failed to reach the final.

I've decided to detail the stages here, so curious parties can marvel at just how much these hungry ladies consume. Bear in mind that there's always a time limit, eg. 45 minutes, although the medical supervisor can call an early halt to proceedings if a competitor is in distress. Contestants are allowed to utilise any seasoning, condiment or beverage they wish. In the case of soups, only the meat, vegetables, mushrooms and noodles must be munched. A judge checks the remaining broth with a strainer before allowing the eater to receive her next bowl. The women feast at a long table, but occasionally stand in their seats to do a "Kobayashi Shake" to assist the movement of the food.

Stage #1: Croissants with custard and fresh strawberries
The winner ate 38 pastries (3.8kg).

Stage #2: Spiral sausages on sticks
Top: 31 (4.03kg)

Stage #3: Indeterminate rice dish with seaweed and eel(?)
Top: 44 bowls (8.8kg)

Stage #4: Crumbed prawns
Top: 27 plates of three (4.4kg)
Galsone starts sobbing when she believes she won't make the cut, but rallies and squeaks through.

Stage #5: Steak
Top: 28 (5.6kg)
Galsone eliminated.

Stage #6: Pork(?) ramen
Top: 20 bowls (no weight given)
Galsone reinvented as a roving reporter.
A new queen - a 44-year-old with short black hair, glasses and kinda gaunt features - is crowned.

Unlike male gurgitators, who pay no heed to the mess they make, the younger women cover their mouths politely while chewing, dab their lips with napkins and check their make-up in their compact mirrors. Hearing one greet her 20th plate with a cry of "Oishii!" (delicious) is bizarre.

Six of a kind

DL graciously hosted a poker night. SC was unable to defend the League Of Ordinary Gentlemen perpetual trophy due to illness. Family guys DW and SK also begged off, reducing our group from nine to six. Nobody remembered to bring betting chips (normally provided by SK), but luckily DL has a HUGE collection of cardboard drink coasters from pubs across Oz, so we used those and they worked fine.

The $20 no-limit Hold 'Em tournament was won for the first time by BW, with CM runner-up and AM third. I finished out of the money in fourth. We then played dealer's choice ($10 buy-in), going twice around the table. Anaconda, draw poker, Follow The Queen, Indian, Spit In The Ocean and stud poker all got a guernsey. The tedious Cross Of Iron and potentially bankrupting Guts didn't. S/I/T/O was a surprise fave. Interestingly, none of us chose to play more Hold 'Em. When the two revolutions were done, I had the largest stack - $25+ - meaning I nearly broke even overall. Nearly. My best hand of the evening was four kings in Anaconda. Doesn't happen often.

While I didn't learn anything to increase my rudimentary skill at cards, I discovered that: Estrella 1906 Special Reserve is an excellent Spanish beer, my passion for Laphroaig whisky is greater than previously realised, Lovers Electric are a very listenable pop duo, and DL's local pizzeria does a non-greasy vego variant with sliced tomato, eggplant, olives and fetta that I could scoff until I burst. Only $12 for a medium, too.

MIA

Got a strange letter from World Vision saying that one of my sponsor kids was no longer part of their program and offering me a replacement. Seemed almost callous. I rang their hotline and the woman was sympathetic but couldn't tell me what had happened to the child. She thought the most likely explanation was that her family had moved from the W/V area. Of course I signed on for the new kid, but it's worrying that an aid organisation can't keep track of its peeps.

My boycottz, let me show you them

I hope every athlete who deserves a medal or a PB at the Beijing Olympics gets it, especially the Australians. But I won't be watching. China's human rights record is appalling (see Tibet, Falun Gong) and they should never have been allowed to host. Call it pathetic, but my one-man protest is to avoid the entire coverage.

I'll get square eyes

Monday was an advance screening of potheads-on-the-run comedy "Pineapple Express". Had its chucklesome moments, but really, I woulda rathered been watching "Top Gear" and Knights lancing Eels.

Not so with tonight's preview. "Where On Earth Is Osama Bin Laden?" surpasses Morgan Spurlock's earlier "Super Size Me". So enthralling it made me forget my ravenous hunger - quite a feat.

Tomorrow, it's "Son Of Rambow", about being a kid in England in the '80s. Then I'll be hailing a Hansom cab for home so as not to miss the new Jack The Ripper documentary on ABC1 at 8.30pm.

Sub-jectivity

The difference between subeditors and graphic designers is they think italic text is a decorative device, whereas we know it performs a solemn duty that should never be compromised :-)

The arts

On Sunday, the M. family and I saw "The 39 Steps" at the Opera House's Playhouse. While retaining the pre-WW1 espionage and dashing everyman of John Buchan's 1915 novel and the romance on the run of Hitchcock's 1935 adaptation (with nods to a number of his works), this 2005 reinterpretation for four frantic actors was deliberately farcical. Thankfully, the quick changes, accents, props and theatre tricks (models, shadowplay, offstage characters, etc.) were prevented from overwhelming things by the charisma of the leads. Having a solid spy story as a basis didn't hurt, either. Afterwards, we made the most of our glad rags with a visit to The Sir Stamford Hotel's swanky bar for signature Raffles curry puffs and cocktails (I had a James Bond Martini).


I was in no hurry to add children's book "The Day I Swapped My Dad For Two Goldfish" (2004) to my Neil Gaiman collection. However, when I noticed Kino had a reprint that included a bonus audio version read by NG himself, I had to peek at the price sticker. $7.94 - $7.15 with my discount card. And all those darkly fantastic piccies by "Sandman" cover artist Dave McKean. Sold!


Tapping my ugg boots to: "The Meanest Of Times" (2007) - Dropkick Murphys. I bet you know heaps about these Irish American punks. I don't. I just know "T/M/O/T" is a tops CD.

YouToobin': Search for "Buffy animated" on YouTube.com, then watch the 3.5-minute pilot for the cartoon spin-off that wasn't. Sarah Michelle Gellar's voice is conspicuous by its absence.

Movie reviews: "Tropic Thunder" (2008) & "Persepolis" (2007)

"Tropic Thunder"

The gist: A method actor in blackface (Robert Downey Jr), an action star (Ben Stiller), a druggie comedian (Jack Black), a product-pushing rapper (Brandon T. Jackson) and a greenhorn (Jay Baruchel) walk into a bar. And by "bar", I mean "doomed Vietnam War movie project".

Selling points: Value for moolah. While not every joke zings, even before the credits roll, you've been treated to three fake trailers and a bogus ad. Sleb reinforcements include Steve Coogan, Nick Nolte, Matthew McConaughey and Tom Cruise in a mesmerisingly grotesque caricature of a studio boss.

It's kinda like: The heroics of "Rambo", the tragedy of "Platoon", the madness of "Apocalypse Now"...and that's only the film within the film. Pretty much every Hollywood hang-up or excess is satirised, from "worthy" Oscar roles to demanding TiVo access in the Asian jungle.

Final word: See it before some bastard reviewer spoils the surprises.

[Australian cinema release date: August 21]


"Persepolis"

The gist: Growing up in Iran, Marjane Satrapi witnesses the fall of the Shah, rise of the Islamic fundamentalists and senseless war with Iraq. She goes into exile as a student in Austria but can't handle being separated from her family and winds up on the street. Returning home, she tries to quell her rebellious nature under the new regime, only to realise that while she'll always be Iranian, it's time to leave.

Selling points: A unique perspective on a nation's transformation – the genuine optimism after the Shah was deposed, a young Marjane buying Iron Maiden cassettes on the black market, her family desperately flushing wine when the police raid a secret party. There are several trophies on the "Persepolis" mantelpiece, most notably the 2007 Cannes Jury Prize.

It's kinda like: Satrapi's autobiographical comic of the same name. Funny that. The lovely, varied animation – colour's only used in the present, while the historical interludes resemble scenes from a Persian carpet – and French dub (with English subs) make an exotic contrast to the newsreel footage with which we’re more familiar.

Final word: Best use of "Eye Of The Tiger" since "Rocky III".

[Also released August 21]

Sugar rush

Meiji Muscat Gummy Chocolate. From the planet Japan to the supermarket in max/m plaza to my fat gut. Chewy, green grape-flavoured, choc-coated beans. As odd as they sound – yet incredibly moreish. Within five minutes, the tube was empty.

Critical distance

In my review of "Zombie Strippers", it wasn't the "Puppet Master" horror films I was remembering but the "Basket Case" ones. Damn thing's gone to the printers now. Sounded so authoritative, didn't it? Hopefully no expert will cry foul. Maybe the statement even holds true. I'll be extra-careful in future...until the next error.

SMASH! hits

There's no excuse for ignoring an anime convention within walking distance of one's dwelling. SMASH!, held at the UNSW Roundhouse, had all the standard attractions: a main stage for interviews, etc.; screening and karaoke rooms; dealer and artist tables; videogame, cosplay and drawing comps; club tables and a food court. In the non-standard category, it offered a "maid cafe" (if you could get in), activities related to those eerily lifelike Dollfie dolls that people spend a fortune dressing and making up, and special guest Hidenobu Kiuchi (voice actor on "Prince Of Tennis" and "Katekyo Hitman Reborn"). They really made the most of HK, with a lengthy interview through a translator, live dubbing (assisted by nervous audience members) and a signing session. The crowd loved him and he loved 'em right back, revoicing his characters with gusto. I was impressed. My three purchases for the con were a "Death Note" Christmas card for RS and KS, teensy sketch of Gaara from "Naruto" for AC and cute colour print of the dinosaur Yoshi from the "Mario" games curled up and dreaming of a power-up mushroom. It's currently magneted to the fridge. Almost forgot...the new trend seems to be anime-related handicrafts, with most fan artists also selling plush toys, funny hats, phone socks, finger puppets, etc. Many were sewing/gluing away at their tables. My crafty sisters woulda dug it.


On the stereo: "EverChanging Times" (2008) - Steve Lukather. Latest catchy, smart-rockin' solo album from the ex-Toto guitarist/singer. Latest generous gift to me from LA.

Look on my work drinks, ye mighty, and despair!

Ruined myself on Pure Blonde at the local watering hole, in the company of AH, MP and others. Nausea, headache, sweats. Shallow sleep punctuated with bathroom breaks and painstaking rehydration. Remarkably chipper now, though, thanks for your concern :-)