National pride

The McAustralia is the closest Chew'N'Spew have got to a classic corner shop hamburger. Beef, bacon, cheese, tomato, lettuce and a pineapple ring, with barbecue sauce oozing out the sides of the bun. Had they managed to cram on beetroot, fried onion and a fried egg and still charge $5.95, it woulda been a fair-dinkum bargain. As it is, it's probably the best of a bland bunch.

Movie review: "Zombie Strippers" (2008)

The gist: In the near future, America's fighting wars on so many fronts, it's running short of troops. So a scientist of the mad variety engineers a virus to reanimate soldiers as zombies. It gets loose – in an underground strip club.

Selling points: Robert "Freddy Krueger" Englund as the amoral, germ-phobic proprietor. Jenna "retired porn star" Jameson as the head dancer who becomes an undead dancer. Mucho T&A, violence and...politics?

It's kinda like: Those extreme stage shows where chicks shoot ping-pong balls outta their whatsits. Except this particular scene uses pool balls. The silly-arse speeches bring back fond memories of the "Puppet Master" series.

Final word: The scariest thing is it occasionally makes sense.

[Australian cinema release date: August 14]

Keen for Keane

I can't wait for Robbie K. to take the field for Liverpool in the No. 7 jersey. He supported the Reds as a lad and is already making big promises. Sorry, PK, I know Spurs couldn't really afford to lose him.

Not too busy for a graphic novel...

Reading: "Fables #10: The Good Prince" (2007-08) by the usual suspects. Flycatcher shuffles into the spotlight. I knew they'd have to explain what happened to the numerous villains thrown down the Witching Well!

Cobra Kai never dies

CM may have switched publishing dojos, but DL and I laboured beside him for eight years and will continue to drink beside him. Which is why we agreed to meet the turncoat - just kidding, mate! - on his new patch, St Leonards, for BBQ beef at quaint cottage restaurant Bento-Ya and pints of Kilkenny at faux-British pub Gilroy's. Beaut.

"Thunder" down-under

Attended a media/random punter preview of the fillum "Tropic Thunder" at George St Greater Union with PB, CM and AM. Spoiler-free review (as requested by the Paramount spokeslady) to come...

Hello world

This update brought to you by Snickers – The Lot, Carlton Dry Fusion ("brewed with natural lime"), 2007's "National Treasure 2: Book Of Secrets", Antonio Margarito vs Miguel Cotto for the WBA welterweight belt, "Sign Of The Unicorn" (1975) by Roger Zelazny, and Sugarland's cover of "Life In A Northern Town".

Real gone kid

I'll effectively be on the road this weekend... "4E D&D" with TC, LPO, SC, JC and maybe RG tomorrow night in The Shire. Everybody crashing at TC's. Brief return to the eastern suburbs on Saturday for Randwick vs Eastwood (we must have revenge!). Thence to the oldies' in Newcastle for a mini-reunion with 2/3 of my sisters and brothers-in-law. Sunday is my maternal grandma's 90th at a hired hall in Port Stephens. Cousins galore. Early the next morning, I'll be sleepily boarding an express to Sydney and the office with my kitbag over my shoulder. So there won't be any further typey-typey until the PM of 28/07.

James Squire Pepperberry Winter Ale

While sounding like something a hobbit might imbibe after a hard day of yarn-spinning and pipe-smoking, Pepperberry Winter Ale is also highly palatable to humans. It's dark, rich, creamy and, according to the Malt Shovel Brewery, has notes of caramel, chocolate, nuts and Australian native pepperberries. I could only detect notes of meat pie, pea and tomato sauce, but that might have something to do with what I'd eaten for dinner. I'm willing to take their expert word for it. Limited to 10,000 cases nationally, the 5.4% alc./vol. drop is already tough to source – took me three grog shops. You'll be glad you made the effort, though, 'cos this beer will put hair on ya feet! Expect to pay $17 for a sixer of 345ml bottles.

The "Doctor Who" season four finale was ... ?

(a) Splendid
(b) Preposterous
(c) Gut-wrenching
(d) All of the above

I'm leaning towards (d).

Movie review: "Stop-Loss" (2008)

The gist: Film-maker Kimberly Pierce presents us with a new horror from the American side of the Iraq War. Under the stop-loss policy, a soldier can be ordered to continue active duty beyond the time when their contract was meant to have ended.

Selling points: A great turn from Ryan Phillippe as a young Texan who volunteers to fight, does it bloody well, witnesses as much death as he can handle, thinks his job's over after the medals and homecoming parade, then gets stop-lossed back to the front. This is contrasted with the plight of his mate, who can't live without the army but finds himself discharged because of behavioural problems stemming from his shocking experiences.

It's kinda like: The difficulty King (Phillippe) and his battle-scarred men have readjusting to society parallels aspects of "In The Valley Of Elah". Interspersed handicam footage supposedly taken by the soldiers injects an MTV feel (in fact, the cable channel produced "Stop-Loss").

Final word: Dishonourably drafting blokes who've done their duty?

[Australian cinema release date: August 7]

The price of seafood in Sydney

Sadly, Sushi Train have switched to a six-tier pricing system, meaning it now costs around $5 more to gorge oneself. [Shrug] I wholeheartedly recommend their squid tempura nigiri, provided you don't mind onion breath. Perhaps you're cultivating the "Parisian halitotic attack" documented in John F. Gilbey's brilliant load of bollocks, "Secret Fighting Arts Of The World" (1963). Just as well ya don't come here for the political analysis, ain't it?


Reading: "American Nerd: The Story Of My People" (2008) by Benjamin Nugent. Also bought with Amazon voucher from EM.

Dessert I didn't need: Kit Kat Orange & Chocolat (no "e") from the Japanese mini-mall beneath the Lumiere Building on George St. Much like a Terry's chocolate orange. Seconds of heaven as the bitter cocoa and sweet citrus mash.

PSP game review: "ATV Offroad Fury Pro" (2008)

The gist: Gun it off the starting line, weave through your opponents, pop wheelies to build speed for a jump, nail a points-earning aerial stunt, straighten up before landing, fling yourself round a berm, bump a rival into a tyre wall, avoid getting bogged in a mud puddle, bounce over logs, check behind for potential passers, and keep doing that stuff – especially the tricks – until you take the chequered flag.

Selling points: Works equally well as a pick-up-and-play game during the ad breaks in "The F Word" or a hard-core sim where you compete in a series of events, earn sponsorship and upgrade/tune every aspect of your vehicle. Besides ATVs, you can race dune buggies, trucks, motocross bikes and snowmobiles – all of which handle differently. The look of your rider and the intelligence of the computer dudes are also modifiable. Not impressed? How about 64 courses, a 25-song soundtrack, a track editor and wireless multiplayer?

It's kinda like: Most modern racers in the sense that the controls are initially frustrating, but persevere and they'll become second nature. As with games of every type these days, a certain amount of content needs to be "unlocked" through successful play, but "O/F/P" allows you to access plenty from the get-go.

Final word: Consider your PSP hooning needs satisfied.

[Australian release date: out now]

Review: "Robot Chicken: Star Wars" (2007)

The gist: In 1977's "Star Wars", there's a throwaway line where Luke Skywalker, having copped chores from his Uncle Owen, whinges he'd planned to go "to Tashi Station to pick up some power converters". "Robot Chicken"'s take on what might have been depicts Tashi Station as a strip club and the Power Converters as a trio of exotic dancers, with Luke peeling off bills ready to stick in their garters. That's the sort of in-jokey skit you can expect from this half-hour "tribute".

Selling points: Fanboy humour delivered through a unique combo of stop-motion puppetry, lovingly recreated backdrops, silly music and over-the-top dialogue (hearing Boba Fett talk dirty to a frozen Han Solo is hilariously creepy). There's a level of extras usually only seen on real "S/W" DVDs – the behind-the-scenes and bonus footage are longer than the main feature and there are several commentary tracks.

It's kinda like: An episode of the "R/C" TV series, but with the blessing of Lucasfilm – a mobbed George is shown riding a costumed fan to safety at a convention – and a boosted budget. Obviously, it's also like bits of the six films it lampoons.

Final word: Where else are you gonna see a cheesy ice-dancing musical set on Hoth called "Empire On Ice"?

[Australian DVD release date: August 6]

Housekeeping

I've tweaked the "Blogs I read" list on the right. Since the prolific DL now has six separate web pages, I'm only including the original - Betty Paginated - and you can get to the rest from there (via his profile). Replacing the fallen soldiers are X-Entertainment, which has been amusing, inspiring and making me envious for years, and Moe Moe Rabu, the diary of a stranger who also happens to be Aussie and an otaku.

Fighting dirty

It was no coincidence that the same day a rival mixed martial arts organisation had its debut pay-per-view, "Affliction: Banned", screening on Main Event, the UFC offered fans a free three-hour alternative on FUEL TV, viz. "Fight Night Live - Silva vs Irvin". The announcer described it as "a special gift". Not that I'm complaining about saving $39.95, but it was a competition-squishing move worthy of WWE's Vince McMahon.

Shedding light on "Shadowmoor"

Kudos to the Wallabies and Swans and kudos to me for finishing playtesting the five theme decks for "Magic: The Gathering - Shadowmoor". This set adds the mechanics "conspire" (tap two creatures of a matching colour to copy a spell with conspire), "persist" (critters possessing said ability return from the graveyard if they don't have any -1/-1 counters, but bringing them back adds one), "wither" (wither-ing monsters deal -1/-1 counters instead of damage) and, MOST POTENTIALLY GAME-CHANGINGLY, "untap" (abilities whose costs include untapping a creature. Oh, the synergies!). It took me 15-20 hours and much faffing with dice and glass bleads to conduct my round-robin "Shadowmoor" tourney, piloting each deck as objectively and skilfully as I could. The leaderboard below may seem to indicate a bias on my part towards beatdown. In fact, I'm a control player by nature, but "Turnabout" and "Aura Mastery" were just plain weaker. How it ended (m/g = matches/games):

1st - Overkill (G/R fast, beefy creatures; wither and direct damage) - 3m/8g
2nd - Mortal Coil (B/U evasive critters, persist, tricks with counters) - 2m/6g
3rd* - Army Of Entropy (B/R cross between Overkill and Mortal Coil) - 2m/5g
4th - Aura Mastery (U/W bolster your limited monsters, hamper theirs) - 2m/5g
5th - Turnabout (G/W token makers, power-ups, life gain. Too slow) - 1m/6g
*On countback


Listening: "Snakes & Arrows - Live" (2008) - Rush. Double CD recorded in Rotterdam and comprising 9/13 tracks from "S&A" plus 18 others. Some curious selections/juxtapositions; old songs made new and even more wonderful! "A gentle hand, a secret touch on the heart..."

Result!

Randwick 63 - Wests 24. That's a point every 55 seconds, Poindexters. Their new recruit, TT, made a couple of breaks and crossed with two minutes on the clock, but no-one outshone our giant winger, Ratu Nasiganiyavi, who went on a scoring spree.

Prior to the footy, I called in at the Golden Arches and tried a McAsia wrap: generic chicken strips, lettuce, cucumber, sweet chilli sauce and mayonnaise in a tortilla. Could have done without the mayo. Nicer - and healthier - than the McEurope or McAfrica.

Carn, you Knights, Wallabies and Swannies!

Holy racket

Christian rawk is emanating from the racetrack at a volume of "11". Now I know how Joshua *really* knocked down the walls of Jericho. Time to escape to the Galloping Greens rugby game at Coogee, against a West Harbour who will be aided by the inclusion of Timana Tahu.

Live-action "Death Note" #1

The first "Death Note" flick was pretty good considering the complexity of the source material and obvious low budget (was it made for telly?). I liked the way they streamlined the story and animated the shinigami Ryuk. Overall, it was different enough to still be surprising to someone who's read the manga.

For "Picturesque"

As expected, the front of the latest Kinokuniya catalogue reproduces the winning entry from their Digital Art Prize 2008: Marcia Carvalho Costa's "Unhappy Beauty". It's a hyper-stylised head'n'shoulders portrait of a hooded woman done in white, greys, red-browns and black. Her long hair obscures one eye. The tear she's shedding from the other is barely noticeable amid the organic patterns swirling about. I reckon it's reminiscent of the marvellous illos of Japan's Symbolon, although this figure isn't a silhouette.

Clarification

While my 'burb is a key staging area for WYD activities, most of the "pilgrims" haven't progressed that far...yet. They make quite a sight - always travelling in groups, often singing hymns, and usually carrying the flags of their countries or provinces. On a Wednesday lunchtime wander with SC, I spotted an unfamiliar pennon and asked the bearer where he was from. Answer: "Bavaria." The Germanic tribes are on the march :-)

Religion and politics

World Youth Day 2008 is a six-day celebration of the Catholic faith presided over by his holiness Pope Bendedict XVI. It is expected to attract 1,000,000 participants. It is centred on Randwick Racecourse, about 100m from my flat. It will result in road closures, diverted buses and general chaos. It began today.

In other news, CM has left our mag for greener publishing pastures and, with the ed's blessing, I've inherited the "Movies" page. I'm excited. Expect to hear me rabbiting on about many more releasings of cinematical newness.


Listening: "Lightbulb Sun" (2008 double-disc special edition of the 2000 album) - Porcupine Tree. Largesse from my record reviewer mate LA.

Reading: "Cabin Pressure: One Man's Desperate Attempt To Recapture His Youth As A Camp Counselor" (2007) by Josh Wolk. Purchased with part of an Amazon birthday voucher from EM.

Watching: (On a video from AC) an episode of Japanese game show "TV Champions" in which chefs compete for the "knife skills" crown. Slicing cucumbers the fastest and lemons the thinnest, making the longest unbroken apple peel and decorating the most plates within a time limit. The final rounds involved carving an undersea diorama from vegies, then a tribute to Tokyo Tower. These guys were Ginsu gods!

"All your dreams are made of strawberry lemonade"

I boarded a 376 at Central. Two corners later, the driver swiped a tree, losing the passenger-side mirror with a bang-bang! He made us all get out and catch another bus.

Doing my grocery shopping, I cut my finger reaching under a laminated pricetag. The pointy bit got me right across the top of a knuckle. Bled like crazy. Attracted stares.


Listening: "The Masterplan" (1998) - Oasis. If you didn't guess.

Takin' it easy

I encouraged Dad to watch "Beowulf"; he convinced me to see "Lions For Lambs". Think I profited most in that trade. Extra Dry Platinum + rosemary & thyme crisps = STRONG. The Tri Nations is on Foxtel, "Top Gear" mag and the Stonehenge ish of "National Geographic" are waiting and I've no desire to continue typing. Bye!


Reading: "The Guns Of Avalon" (1973) by RZ.

Anna Bay

Hung with my friends PG and DG, who shouted me a quality green curry. All manner of topics were discussed. A block of the new Cadbury Clinkers chocolate was devoured. Obscure videogames were sampled (a history of the C64 and whiz-bang emulator helped). As usual, the bottom of the hourglass filled too quickly.


Reading: "Nine Princes In Amber" (1972) by Roger Zelazny.

Newie again

Farewell to the slightly smug alternative tranquility of the "Byron bubble". In transit, I read Daniel Silva's "The English Assassin" (2002). Current-day spyjinx rooted in the shady transactions of Swiss banks and art dealers in WW2. Solved the puzzles in a newspaper, dozed...ish, met by parents at bus exchange. I declare Operation: Gencon Oz/EM's 30th/Chillax a success!

Facts and fictions

* B/Bay has a railway station and (rusty) tracks but no train service.

* "Proof" the film, being co-adapted by David Auburn, does justice to "Proof" the play. Hopkins relatively restrained, Davis sympathetic, Gyllenhaal wholesome, Paltrow steals it. Worthy drama about devotion mathematical and filial, about how our minds focus, blur and struggle to trust beyond the scientific.

* Domino's, Eagle Boys and Subway (x2) constitute the few takeaway chains here.

* 10 minutes into the documentary "Jesus Camp" (2006), during the glossolalia scene, I changed channels in disgust. The religious right is so wrong. They are robbing childhoods!

* Today, I'd planned to visit an attraction known as Amaze 'N' Place to wander hedge mazes and pet llamas. It was advertised as being "1km south of town". Unfortunately, the brochure didn't specify which town. When I hopped a taxi to go there, the cabbie warned me it'd be a $100 fare. I apologised for wasting his time.

* Ian McEwan's 1998 Booker Prize-awarded "Amsterdam" is as darkly comic and gorgeously, gorgeously written as I was promised.

To the lighthouse

Umbrella and winter woolies weather - ideal for visiting an imposing beacon on cliffs surrounded by grey sea. It was a two-hour hike there and back. A cycleway along the waterfront became elevated decking (signposted as a "rainforest walk"), then a hazardous game of "Frogger" up a winding road with blind corners. Was I the only tourist without a vehicle? On reaching the summit, I spied a commotion in the ocean that revealed itself with a flipper slap and a spout to be migrating humpback whales! I glimpsed several more of the creatures as I continued past the lighthouse, down a slippery paved path to the patch of ground that is the easternmost point on the Australian mainland. Captain Cook christened this spot Mount Warning, which is kind of appropriate given it's the "plug" in the caldera of a monstrous prehistoric volcano. Koori legend says there's a cave six miles out inhabited by an all-father type being. I saw no trace of him, only a spectacular view of Byron's misty mountains and sandy shores.

My morning meal had been at the boho-est cafe I could find. At One One One - motto: "a jug of wine, a loaf of bread and thou" (Omar Khayyam quote) - the service was random, but the homemade baked beans and slow-roasted-until-almost-creamy pumpkin were a treat. Dad woulda loved what I had post-trek at the bustling Beach Hotel: pale ales for what ails me and a chunky rabbit pie! While I'm on the subject of food and beverages... Blood orange juice is appropriately reddish and yummier than ordinary OJ. And a big tick for the new Magnum Equador Dark ice-cream, especially if, like me, you prefer excess cocoa to sugar.

Byron Bay

Had to ask Rydges to delete two phantom phone calls from my bill (I have a mobile for that). Worryingly, the Greyhound coach stalled at a couple of intersections. Our on-board entertainment was Leonardo DiCaprio's awareness-raising 2007 enviro doco, "The 11th Hour". I listened while turning the pages of "Feet Of Clay" (1996) by Terry Pratchett. The City Watch and other Ankh-Morpork regulars - plus golems. Here I am at the Lord Byron Resort. Large, modern digs, apart from the medieval locking mechanism - a metal thing that sits over a different metal thing. You're welcome. B/B reminds me of the Port Stephens region but with a hippie twist, eg. exploring the shops, I came upon Whale Song Healing Place. Many "ferals", bless 'em. Couldn't resist a postcard headed "Peak Hour" that depicted a jam of cartoon Kombis. Late lunch at O-sushi: teriyaki prawns with green salad and a (winning) combination of brown and white rice; three varieties of tempura mushrooms and a peach Pokka. Perfectly presented and mighty fine eatin'! Familiarised myself with the secondhand bookstore, to which I shall return.

Gencon - day 4

Neglected to mention in the day 3 entry that I'd strolled through the LAN gaming and an FPS final - four headphones-wearing sharpshooters frantically manipulating their keyboards and mice, a crowd of teens in trendy T-shirts around them. That wasn't the surprising part. There was a bloke on a mic doing dead serious play-by-play commentary! So, today. Human-sized "Jenga" with bright orange cardboard blocks (actually, that's been present every day, but I just remembered to tell youse now). My seventh and last session was "Supervillains!", which utilised the "Mutants And Masterminds" rules. In hindsight, White Scorpion wasn't the optimal choice - 10th dan chop-socky and impervious to normal weapons, but pizz-poor at pursuing flying or teleporting foes. We spent a fun 2.5 hours arguing, over-planning and accidentally tipping off the heroes as evil-doers should. When the inevitable combat began, it was (a) extremely difficult, and (b) something of a letdown. No-one's fault. Caught the "Dragonlance" flick in the screening room. A faithful adaptation of "Dragons Of Autumn Twilight" that preserves the adult concepts. Shoddy animation, however; an uneasy mix of traditional and CGI. Celebrity voices, if that turns you on. Worth it for the nostalgia. When Mum advanced me the pocket money for an air-freight copy of the novel at Mainly Military in 1984, it was an "AD&D" fan's dream made print. On the slim chance any informed lurker's wondering, I ignored the special guest seminars/signings by folk like Tracy and Laura Hickman and Alan Tudyk because, well, you can't do everything. Washed my dirty clothes. Loaded essential provisions at Borders (discount paperback) and Coles (muesli bars) for the next stage of the journey...

Gencon - day 3

"Hunter Planet" required us to create our own wacky aliens to take part in an Earth safari entitled "Satisfaction Guaranteed (Or Your Body Back)". Mine was the ghost of a fashion model whose only means of interacting with material objects was an electrified glove - the very device that had short-circuited and caused his untimely demise. I exhausted my trio of resurrection pills but managed to stylishly teleport to the mothership moments before the bombs hit Melbourne, with 11 notches on my gun...er, glove. I daresay that sounds like nonsense. "Savage Worlds" module "Infestasia" plunged deliberately archetypal and quietly expendable marines into a supernatural slobberknocker in Tet Offensive-era Vietnam. Naturally, I went for the medic. Tea was an encore of spicy rice dishes and boozahol at Wah, accompanied by SC. Then, high in one corner of Suncorp Stadium, I observed the Wallabies improve on their previous result versus France (40-10) - and noticeably increase the excitement factor.

Gencon - day 2 (continued)

Why aren't the souvenir caps adjustable? The organisers should know gamers such as moi are fatheads! :-) Nice to be able to get a vegetarian focaccia - can't believe I subsisted on sausage rolls, Mars bars and Coke at those '90s Macquariecons. Saw a Jedi teaching his padawans a lightsaber kata. Was fortunate to secure a place in the only running of the lone "Call Of Cthulhu" module for the long weekend, "The Blasted Heath". Classic stuff - Arkham, Miskatonic University, weird colours in the sky... The Keeper was an English fella and an incredible storyteller. Both quest and characters originated from his personal campaign. I played an alcoholic journalist (a case of art exaggerating life) who lost but a single point of sanity despite the unspeakable horrors he witnessed! Back at the hotel, I may have been mistaken for an elevator operator. I held the doors for a middle-aged gent out of courtesy. He got in and, without making eye contact, requested, "Four, please." Amused, I pressed the appropriate button. On reaching the fourth floor, he exited - again, without so much as glancing in my direction - saying, "Thank you. Good night." Really enjoyed renewing my acquaintance with "C/O/C" for the first time in a decade.

Gencon - day 2 (so far)

Had my first crack at "Dawn Patrol", the aerial dogfighting wargame that's been a staple of US Gencon for 40 years! It was the British versus the Germans over a French dockyard. Five pilots per nation; SC and Addster on the side of The Hun. The losing side, as it transpired, although I acquitted myself well - suffered a single hit, but dealt several. Came >this< close to a kill. Landed safely. Third brilliant game master outta three. Instantly knew the answer to every query, patient with us newbies, indicated map positions with a laser pointer! :-) Picked up the launch issue of Aussie "SciFiNow" magazine for $2.

Gencon - day 1

The Convention Centre is colossal and dwarfs the Sydney equivalent. We're sharing it with, among other bashes, the XXIII World's Poultry Congress. Lest you imagine squawking chickens flying across gaming tables, I should point out that they're the equivalent of a city block away. Like I said - colossal. SC, myself and five strangers played a module called "The 8th Sea" for a diceless (poker chip- and playing card-driven) time-travelling RPG of the same name. It was GMed by the author, with assistance from his missus, and was excellent. I was a female African scientist who'd fallen in with a crew of temporal pirates so she could visit pre-cataclysm Atlantis. Numerous cosplayers. I overheard Sailor Moon setting Mr Monopoly straight about an obscure variety of stormtrooper. Smiled. Later, SC, TC, LPO, myself and two others played an "Iron Heroes" (magic-light version of "D&D") module - "The Headhunters' Drums". We were the champions of six animal-worshipping tribes. I chose the elephant dude 'cos I didn't wanna run two cerebral characters in a row. He was, indeed, a tank. I set records for most damage in a hit (61 points) and in a combat round (112). Again, a beaut session had by all and objectives completed. Stalls of note: Campaign Coins (real metal currency for use in your fantasy shenanigans) and the Jugger League (international society based on the contact sport in the 1989 movie "Salute Of The Jugger"). Later still, caught up with my sis EM and her hubby TM, who live locally. As it's her 30th on Sunday, I shouted 'em a Korean meal and Hite beer/wine at Wah in the Queen St Mall, then cake and liqueur/coffee at a cafe. In between those, we witnessed a bizarre performance by a bunch of lady trapeze artists where oranges were fed through a high-wire machine to avant garde music. Very Cirque Du Soleil. Nodded off reading the free ish of "PC PowerPlay" from my convention showbag.

Brisbane

Left Coffs before dawn. Used my tiny book light to illuminate "Learning To Fly" (2001) by Victoria Beckham. I like her, too. Savvy but not sly. As critical of herself as anyone. Years of sadness before the happily ever after. My dance-mad sister AC may be interested to know VB passed her teacher's exams in ballet, modern and tap and always scored highly commended or honours. Absorbed 1000 pages on Posh and Becks in 48 hours - enough! Broke my fast at the Big Prawn in Ballina. Motoring through the Gold Coast, passed right by the 78-floor Q1, the tallest residential building on the planet. Reached Brissie and checked in at Rydges, South Bank. Located the nearest Ticketek and purchased a ticket for the Wallabies' rematch with France at Suncorp on Saturday. Then saw "Picasso & His Collection" at the Gallery Of Modern Art. Should have been titled "Picasso & Friends", in my opinion, as it seems he and his mates were always trading artworks. Definitely special seeing a photo of PP hanging a painting in his studio, then seeing the painting itself. Learnt about the mysterious Master Of Processions and the "exquisite corpse" game (I'd heard the term). Massive exhibition, this one - allow yourself at least 90 minutes. Watched Origin 3 in my suite, consuming room service tucker and XXXX Gold. When it was clear Queensland had us beat, the enemy brew turned to ashes in my mouth.

Coffs Harbour

Pleasant trip, during which I read David Beckham's autobiography "My Side" (2003, updated 2004)...sitting still, yet moving at the speed of the train, while simultaneously hurtling through an extraordinary life... Concluded DB's a top bloke and, contrary to tabloid-tinted perceptions, a total team player. Stayed at the Toreador Motel (no bull!). Dined at a pricey-but-worth-every-penny Thai joint suggested by the manager. Pity about the stale tobacco stench wafting under my door from the chain smokers in the parking lot.